Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest #246: The Nuclear Waste Disposal Allegory

[Gore-ac]

Welcome to the all new Star Trek Voyager Caption Contest!

This contest will feature pictures from the 5th season episode of Star Trek Voyager: Juggernaut

But first here're the winners of the last contest..

@tharpdevenport wins the Best Fart Joke with:

That rare moment when Tuvok farts and you realize you can fart too and get away with it.


@tharpdevenport also takes home the Photoshop Award with:

Janeway: SSSHHH -- not while I'm cubing. I swear to Zod if I lost track..."


3rd Prize goes to @Eagan with:

Stop pressing that! It's not a button, it's my nipple!


@Zombie Cheerleader wins 2nd Prize with:

You guys wanna take this somewhere else? I got work to do.


And the winner is @Óðr with:

"When I said "turn the other cheek" I meant....."


Here're th' new pictures..

Bonus Picture:

 

[tharpdevenport]

I'm like Orpha on -- always on the cover of O Magazine, when it comes to winning fart jokes. I lost what -- maybe twice in all these years?

>>> Insert obvious fart joke here. <<<

 

[Pumpkin Bread]

HARRY: "So, Q, I know I'm going to regret asking this, but why have you taken the form of Tuvok?"
Q-VOK: "So that I can talk to you without your rather dull colleagues noticing. I'd like to offer you the chance to join the Q continuum. Last time I gave a human that opportunity, all he managed to do was give all his colleagues exactly what they didn't want; it was painful to watch."
HARRY: "OK. Sounds fun."

JANEWAY: "I can't believe Harry's a Q now. Do you know what he plans on doing with his powers first?"
TUVOK: "I believe that he intends to turn you into a weird mutant rainbow head in a pale blue box, then turn Mr. Neelix into a mutated monster."

JANEWAY: "Damn, Tuvok. I hate it when you're right."

NEELIX: "Geez, look at me! Why did he do this? You're the one who kept him at ensign for 31 years."
JANEWAY: "You made him eat leola root for almost that long."
TUVOK: "I believe that Mr. Kim now intends to turn Lieutenant Torres to dust, for seducing his best friend."

JANEWAY: "Great. Can someone find Mr. Carey, let him know he's chief engineer again?"

DOCTOR: "Are you all right, Commander?"
CHAKOTAY: "A little singed, but I'll be fine."
DOCTOR: "I'd like to commend you, Mr. Chakotay. Your decision years ago to hold onto that anti-Q weapon probably saved us all."
CHAKOTAY: "Were you able to restore the captain to her normal form?"
DOCTOR: "With difficulty."

DOCTOR: "And what would you like to do with Mr. Kim's corpse? Shall we bury him in space, like normal?"
JANEWAY: "No. Run him through Neelix's leola root grinder. Headfirst."
TUVOK: "Aye, captain."

 

[The Green Monster]

HARRY: "So, Q, I know I'm going to regret asking this, but why have you taken the form of Tuvok?"
Q-VOK: "So that I can talk to you without your rather dull colleagues noticing. I'd like to offer you the chance to join the Q continuum. Last time I gave a human that opportunity, all he managed to do was give all his colleagues exactly what they didn't want; it was painful to watch."
HARRY: "OK. Sounds fun."

JANEWAY: "I can't believe Harry's a Q now. Do you know what he plans on doing with his powers first?"
TUVOK: "I believe that he intends to turn you into a weird mutant rainbow head in a pale blue box, then turn Mr. Neelix into a mutated monster."

JANEWAY: "Damn, Tuvok. I hate it when you're right."

NEELIX: "Geez, look at me! Why did he do this? You're the one who kept him at ensign for 31 years."
JANEWAY: "You made him eat leola root for almost that long."
TUVOK: "I believe that Mr. Kim now intends to turn Lieutenant Torres to dust, for seducing his best friend."

JANEWAY: "Great. Can someone find Mr. Carey, let him know he's chief engineer again?"

Chakotay: How many am I at now?

Doc: Seven shuttlecraft this week alone.

 

[tharpdevenport]

"Hi, I'm Neelix's cousin, he arranged our blind date."

Torres: "You said he wasn't that bad looking," whispers over to Neelix.

Neelix: "Well, he isn't ... for our species."

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Janeway: "You can turn off the smoke machine now, Mr. Kim. We're going to red alert."
Kim: (offscreen) "Haven't you heard of the fog of war?"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Chacotay: "...and the monkey just kept raping me for hours and hours and hours."

Doctor: "See -- that's what you get for thinking you can actually go on an away mission with Captain Janeway and kiss her."

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

The Doctor presents his artwork, "One Small Stumble", to the judging committee of the Voyager Art Show.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Everybody quietly takes turns trying to figure out just how the killer got the Penisrock statue in there like that.

 

[Gore-ac]

Tuvok: Vulcans do not fart Captain.
Janeway: Not this shit again.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Janeway: "Okay, I'm thinking of something that is in this room....guess."
Tuvok: "You appear to be suffering from a headache."
Janeway: "That's right, it's you! Too easy."
Tuvok: "..."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Robert: "What is this ... thing I am experiencing? I feel weird!"

Picardo: "It's called acting. Don't worry, I imagine you won't experience it long."

 

[Gore-ac]

Kes after being trapped in an elevator with Tuvok for an hour while he was suffering from uncontrollable flatulence after eating Neelix's cooking.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Jennifer, twenty five years after the end of "Star Trek: Voyager".

 

[Gore-ac]

Janeway: I smell marijuana!

 

[Pumpkin Bread]

There's pot in that nebula.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Janeway: I smell marijuana!

Ensign Kim: "Harry? Harry's not here, man..."

 

[Pumpkin Bread]

JANEWAY: "WEED! Smoking weed on the bridge! Well, I hope you brought enough for everybody."
TUVOK: "Apologies, Captain. I did not know there would be so many crew present."
(Janeway pulls a type 1 mini-phaser and vaporizes Tuvok. All that remains are two scorched Starfleet-issue boots with smoke lazily curling out of them)
HARRY: "Boy, is she strict."

 

[Pumpkin Bread]

JANEWAY: "Absolutely not! I spent three weeks of replicator rations on these Warheads™ Sour Fruity Candy Cubes, and I'm NOT SHARING!!"