Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest #194 Connecting

[Catarina]

A couple more winners are going to be posted but I'm out of time right now. Here's the contest:

@tharpdevenport

Janeway: "Exploding panel?"

Tuvok: "No."

Janeway: "Phaser upclose?"

Tuvok: "No."

Janeway: "Blunt force trauma to the head?"

Tuvok: "No -- he heard George Takai's 'acting'."

@f14peter

JANEWAY: "You're not such a hotshot, so you drove Kirk around for a few years, big deal! I solved the Amelia Earhart mystery!"

SULU: "Phhhhhhfffft! I conspired against Starfleet, assaulted a security officer and destroyed his workstation, then I piloted a Starship I helped steal out of spacedock against the explicit orders of the commander of Starfleet, helmed said stolen starship to Genesis in violation of Federation policy where it was blown up. Then I took part in a botched rescue attempt and was brainwashed by a Vulcan fanatic. After all that ... they made me captain of the newest ship!"

A jab that doesn't get old @Herbert

Janeway: What do you see Mr Paris?
Paris: I see a dragon.
Torres: I see a targ, playing with a Romulan severed arm.
Tuvok: It is illogical to "see" images in a nebula.
The Chakmeister: I see my spirit guide.
Kim: I see a promotion.
Janeway: Yeah, sure you do.

@Laura Cynthia Chambers

Sulu: "Tea!"
Janeway: "Coffee!"
Sulu: "TEA!"
Janeway: "COFFEE! (to Tuvok) "You might want to sit down. This could take a while..."

@Cutie McWhiskers

...Tuvok is then threatened by an old foe in some other show...

@Laura Cynthia Chambers is our big winner

Tuvok attempts to solve Tom Paris' latest brain teaser: "when you play Jenga alone, are you a loser or a winner?"





this round:

 

[Tenacity]

harry: why don't we replicate the pool table and other furniture and set this up in one of the unused storage holds? free up the holodeck for other crewmember's fantasies.

tom: shut up meg.

 

[Qonundrum]

"Harry, I promise I'll promote you this time if you get seat belts ordered for the entire ship."

 

[Herbert]

Janeway: Your hair is fabulous!
Torres: I wish I could say the same about yours

 

[Herbert]

Suder: You do realize that phrenology was discredited centuries ago, right?

 

[Qonundrum]

Torres: "You do realize Billy will eat the ship next?"

(AFTER COMMERCIAL BREAK, SPONSORED BY FOLGERS AND ADDERALL)

Janeway: "Doesn't he know not to eat dessert first? Why did Neelix throw out my giant cubes the first place?!"
Torres: "Because you said there was coffee in that nebula! It's not his fault that thing was lured out of its home."
Janeway: "And how do you know that?!"
Torres: "It's in the script!"

 

[Qonundrum]

Tuvok: "Our minds are merging. They are as one.You see what I see. You go where I go."

"Tuvok to Voyager: Two to beam out. Hurry please. This is worse than any of Neelix's jokes."

 

[Qonundrum]

The crew stifle smirks as they, in the dark room, are unsure of where Harry is putting his hand.

 

[Herbert]

There's a "cupping balls" joke here somewhere but I can't find it.

 

[Herbert]

Kim: Round one of the surprised look contest goes to Janeway.

 

[tharpdevenport]

director (off scree): "Wang! Stop playing with your balls!"

Janeway: "You take that back! There's nothing wrong with my hair!"

Torres: "Oh, yeah? Then how come you keep changing it every week?" walks away.

Janeway: "How dare you! I'm going to take my anger out on the first person nearest me by never promoting them..."

 

[Herbert]

Crewman Fingers: <in back> His name is Wang and he's handling balls. <snicker>
Other Crewman: Settle down Beavis

 

[Qonundrum]

Meanwhile, Janeway learned a few magic tricks and decided to show off in front of her senior officers. Including one parlor gag that made even Tuvok smile...


(On edit: Fixed a sufficiently large boo-boo - depth of field with Neelix...)

 

[Herbert]

It's a shame Neelix really wasn't on the other side of that window

 

[Qonundrum]

It's a shame Neelix really wasn't on the other side of that window

If he got there, it'd be due to Tuvok throwing him out the airlock...

 

[Herbert]

If he got there, it'd be due to Tuvok throwing him out the airlock...

If only that actually happened

 

[Triskelion]

Suder: Is this gay yet?
Tuvok: No.
Suder: How 'bout now?
Tuvok: No.
Suder: Now?
Tuvok: ........Define "gay".
Suder: .........
Tuvok: With words, not mental pictures!

 

[JirinPanthosa]

PARIS: So I researched Native American tribes in the database. There's actually no record of anything Chakotay has told us, I'm not sure he has any idea what he's talking about. Is he messing with us, or is he basing his knowledge of Native American tradition on cartoons or something?
KIM: SSH, he's right there!

PARIS: Good game! Sure beat me good, I owe you one day's rations. Play again, double or nothing?
KIM: Sure! Your apparent level of talent in this first game suggests that I am a much better pool player than you, and thus I will continue winning in all future games.

TUVOK: Sociopathic tendencies...such anger and hate...and...umm...B'elana dancing naked. Lots and lots of B'elana dancing naked. Can you please focus a little more on the murders, Mister Suder.
SUDER: Sorry.

JANEWAY: You'd better perform well in this one conversation, B'elana. I promise I will make my entire staffing decision based on the result!

 

[Nerys Myk]

REDSHIRT: Is he trying to lift the table to make the ball go in the hole?
BLUESHIRT: That's our Harry.

SUDER: Why do I keep sensing the the word "tal-shaya"?

 

[Catarina]

Blue shirt: "My rations the captain doesn't ask for his stick."