Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest: 186 FX

[Catarina]

This round of winners: (you didn't make it easy for me)

Saved by the Bell award: Jirin

MORTIMER: Alright, we have five minutes to save the ship from this anomaly, I've analyzed the evidence and...
CELES: Ooh, shiny!
JANEWAY: Alright, Seven, work with Harren to save the ship. Celes, look at the shiny colors.

Talk to your log because the ears aren't listening goes to: Smellin Coffee

Left Goldshirt: You know, statiscally speaking, asteroid fields aren't really this dense. We could fly a Galaxy-class starship through most fields, no problems.
(Multiple asteroid fragments hitting the Flyer)
Command up Front: Less talking, more driving.

Close the tab. The boss is here award: Tharpdevenport

Guy: "Lizard babies. See? Look at this shuttle cam video..."

Janeway: "What are you two talking about?"

Lady: "Duty roster."

Well I'll be damned award: AC2T

Janeway: Huh... I guess the self destruct sequence really DOES work...



What did I do to earn this duty award: AC2T

Crewman: NO MA'AM! THERE IS NO TOILET PAPER STUCK TO YOUR SHOE, MA'AM!
Janeway: Keep up the good work, Latrine Officer.


And last but not least Triskellion's make me shudder award:

Billy: Here, Lieutenant Kim gave us this list of stuff never to say if we want to get promoted.
Celes: "I wax my clarinet with Doctor Black's Black Woodwind Wax?"
Janeway: <spins and leaves>

Catarina thought: I need to make us some new awards! It's 2018 after all
PS. if this is choppy or in error, I apologize. My arm has gone numb holding my kid who fell asleep in my arms as I type. Time to log out!




New Round:

 

[tharpdevenport]

Tuvok: "And as you can see, this super string in this field is--"

Janeway: "Ah, Mr. Tuvok, that's a Windows 3010 screen saver."

 

[Nerys Myk]

10,000 Quatloos on Species 8472

Ensign Slim Goodbody, please report to the bridge.

 

[Herbert]

Tuvok: And here I've outlined every point along our course where we will suffer catastrophic security breaches due to my gross negligence.

 

[Herbert]

Outtake from the wisely shelved adult film Star Trek Voyager: The Mounting

 

[Herbert]

Dr Crusher: Damn, where can a get a scanner that will do that?

 

[tharpdevenport]

Doctor: "As you can see, technology has finally caught up enough to show us the real benefits of drinking Olvaltine. The yellow and red/orange coloration indicates healthy bodily functions."

The much NOT sought after Hirogen and Species 8472 sex tape was as disturbing as it sounds...

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

T4TW, Catarina!

Hirogen Actor: <sigh> Classically trained, and here I am wearing rubber armor, filming Hirogen/8472 shipper fan fiction.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Section 31 tests its new experimental weapon, code named "Liquid Phaser".

 

[Orac]

The magnaton scan proof coffee cup is a complete success!

or

Oh crap, is this that dream where I show up to work with no clothes or skin on?

or

This coffee tastes like arse. Delicious!

 

[Leviathan]

The eternal battle: CGI vs latex.....Spoiler, CGI wins in the end.

 

[Leviathan]

Tuvok: ...and this chart shows how useless PowerPoint is in long meandering meetings. Moving on to slide number 8473....
Narrator: The war to eliminate meetings rages on.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Doctor: "As you can see by the yellow imaging coloration visual guide, while iocane powder may be odorless, tasteless and dissolve instantly in water, we can now detect it."

 

[Orac]

I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

tftw!

TUVOK: As you can see here, Naomi Wildman is very bad at the human game 'Connect the dots'.

PARIS: The giant space creature! It's peeing! It's PEEING!

The day the Captain accidentally loaded Paris's holo-porn catalog.

CAPTAIN BODAY: You make a damn good rakdagino here on Voyager.

 

[at Quark's]

<Tuvok>: ..Captain, I would propose to forbid the consumption of replicated Romulan ale for any crew that's about to fly shuttle missions. Consider this flight trajectory from mr. Neelix' last supposedly straight cargo run, for instance.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Tuvok: As you can see, it is clearly impossible to make the Kessel Run in fewer than 12 parsecs.

 

[Tenacity]

Voyager, the Harvey Weinstein edition.

 

[Tenacity]

Tuvok: "As you can see, the Captain's sexual activity has declined sharply since our arrival in the delta quadrant."

Janeway: "Wait, at the bottom does the line hook backwards?"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Tuvok: "...and with yellow indicating sexual arousal, as you can with this 3-D internal scan of Captain Janeway, she becomes sexually aroused when she drinks coffee."

Janeway (over the comm): "Mr. Tuvok -- MORE COFFEE!"

Tuvok: "Yes, Captain."

Woodcotay: "Let me go get it."

Tuvok: "Please note, Commander, she did ask for it from me by name. Tough luck."