Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest # 170 Team up with Janeway

[Catarina]

'Word' award goes to Laura

Kim: "Uh oh, here comes the boss. Quick - look busy!"
Torres: "I am busy. You're the one who looks like he's delivering an impromptu Shakespeare soliloquy."

Stupid but effective at making me laugh award goes to Triskelion

Culluh: A fitting end for a people who would not share their technology. Let's see if you manage to survive without your Ernest Goes to the Delta Quadrant mini disc.

Pyramid scheme- I mean team work award- goes to Jirin, devenport, and Nerys.

Ensign Kim visits Paris and B'elana's quarters shortly after they finish making love.

Kim: "Wow, all this happened just from doing it?"

Torres: "What? No, I finished early and filed some status reports. Paris just kept going. He's like an animal."

Kim:" Huh. Like a lizard?"

Torres: "SHHH!!!"

Torres: Amphibian, actually. Very versatile.

oooh Laura dissed the bun

Janeway: "It's okay, B'elanna. You can look me in the eye."
Torres: "Sorry, Captain. If I did, I wouldn't be able to stop laughing at your hairdo. *squeak* Did I say that out loud?"
Janeway *sighs*: "And the demotions keep coming..."

When Lazerbeam first posted this I laughed my ass off. F'n Amway...

Seska: I'd like to talk to you about Amway...

Bonus: This one needs the Photoshop special. Otherwise it just looks like...why?

 

[tharpdevenport]

Janeway: "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"

Paris: "Been studying with Kim, haven't you?"

Paris: "BINGO!!!"

Janeway: "Ha, that previously encountered alien race I could have easily screwed over didn't stand a chance against your bingo skills."

Janeway: "How is it the panels blows and I get crap all over me but you got a smudge on a cheek?"

7: "Have you tried sleeping with one of the producers?"

Goodway: "Now I know I've entered a mirror universe -- I promoted Neelix before Harry and Neelix isn't even enlisted!"

 

[Finn]

Janeway: I apologize for him. He's still grouchy that our babies doesn't take after him.

Janeway: You-this is all your fault.
Seven: huh?
Janeway: You been blabbin' all over about the Cardassian Vole, haven't you?
Seven: ...not really but even if I did you never told me it was a secret.
Janeway: Because I thought you had more common sense... Maquis girls know about voles, of course they'll chase it.
Seven: ...why? Cause all maquis people like voles?
Janeway Don't be a bigot - it's because they're all on heroin.

Janeway: Are you good at your job? I don't know. But I know that you've helped me, and I'm grateful to you for it.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Yay! Two wins!

Janeway: "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"

Paris: "Been studying with Kim, haven't you?"

I saw that.

Tuvok: "I do not see anything even remotely resembling an engagement ring in this section. Are you sure?"
Janeway: "Lost objects are usually found in the last place you look, right?"
Tuvok: "Correct."
Janeway: "Well, this is the last place."
Tuvok: "Typically because after one has found the lost item, one logically stops looking."
Janeway: "Don't bother me with logic! Look again!"

Janeway: "Believe me, I know all about disciplinary problems...take my officer, for instance...please..."
Paris (stage whispering): "Captain! Now's not the time to make jokes, especially ones that may not translate into their language!"
Janeway (drily): "And who's joking?"

Janeway: "Oh, and Reg? I think Mr. Paris found Roy."
Barclay (offscreen - sheepishly scratching the back of his head): "Yeah, in retrospect, I probably should have warned you we were testing his new killer bee holomatrix."
Paris: "GAHHH! Get it AWAY!!"

Janeway (grumpily): "Tell me something, Seven; have the Borg eliminated the curse yet?"

Janeway: "What are you hiding behind your back, Mr. Neelix?"
Neelix: "It may or may not be the replicator program for your birthday present."
Janeway: "Okay, now that the surprise is spoiled, what is it?"
Neelix: "All right, it's not..."
Janeway: "Let me see that...How To Win Friends And Influence People? So your affable demeanour's not...natural?"
Neelix: "You can't tell a soul!"

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Janeway: Tuvok, you can tell a lot about the language of a species from just a few symbols. For example....

Tuvok: This one says property of Paramount Studios...

Janeway: clearly they value intellectual property

Bergman (OS): Bad news everyone, we have to trim costs. The extras can go home.
Mulgrew: Can we keep this one?

Mr. Paris, play your roller coaster simulation OFF DUTY

Janeway: I'm not the best cook, but I've never blown up a replicator before.
Seven: Your technology is flawed. Every borg vessel can prepare the queen's famous chocolate chip cookies.

 

[Catarina]

I saw that.

Tharp models after the greats so would that make it a third win?

 

[JirinPanthosa]

JANEWAY: Okay. This is a completely alien computer system with a completely alien language. So I assume you can figure out how to hack into it and completely control the enemy's systems in five minutes.
TUVOK: This language is particularly complicated. It could take ten.
JANEWAY: You have five.

NEELIX: Captain. Are all Starfleet uniforms so...uncomfortable?
JANEWAY: This is what you asked for Neelix. You got it.

JANEWAY: Did we seriously find an entire planet based on Wesley Crusher's taste in fashion?

When Tom Paris is on the night shift he passes the time by bouncing a ball off the viewscreen. In a few seconds, he realizes Captain Janeway is there.

JANEWAY: Well, that didn't go well. What do you say, reset the timeline?
SEVEN: You have got to get a different first reaction to things.

 

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: According to these X-Rays, you have a cavity in your right second bicuspid

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW Catarina!

Janeway: If we could just decode this alphabet we could enter the password to bypass the encryption algorithm and transfer master control to this interface and override all security lockouts for the whole station complex.
Tuvok: Try "cookies".
Janeway: OK we're in.

Janeway: Lieutenant Neelix, what is the matter inversion ratio of the secondary command processor reading?
Neelix: Uh, "Everybody Poops"?
Janeway: Remind me again why I promoted you to Lieutenant?
Neelix: To avoid promoting Harry.
Janeway: Ah yes. Carry on, Ambassador.

Janeway: Every day, millions of Starfleet officers go to other planets without the benefit of velour. Your two quarters will touch so many lives -
Tom: Away team to Voyager, she's broken the Irish coffee encryption again.

Tom: OH NO WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!
Janeway: That's the floating Windows XP logo, Tom.

Seven: It was my understanding that girlfriends share each other's clothes.
Janeway: I didn't take your electric bra. Try Harry.

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

Janeway: No, Neelix, wearing the uniform does not make you a member of the crew. You already are one. A very valuable one.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DOCTOR: As things go, this program's accuracy is better than the NX-01 program.

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Janeway: Tuvok, lock phasers on target... and Fire!
Paris: He shoots... HE SCORES!!! And the bridge goes wild!!!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: Come on, he has to be worth more than a pound of beans!
PARIS: Wait...what? Beans!!??
JANEWAY: Quiet, we're talking coffee here!

 

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: Okay, maybe Flambé was a little too advanced for a beginning cook.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Janeway: You have got to be kidding me. The PATRIOTS again?

 

[Catarina]

Oh good. You guys got my unspoken psychic message that I felt the contest turn out was a little sparce. Hurray for more entries!

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Janeway: pardon me sir. We didn't mean to trespass. My friend and I are ..... on an ancient quest for Tom Brady's Super Bowl jersey!

Paris: couldn't we just tell them we wanted deuterium? We're always looking for it and nobody ever asks what it does or why we need it.

 

[Tenacity]

Alien: "How did you get lost in this sector in the first place?

Janeway: "Did I mention Lieutenant Paris is our pilot?

 

[Orac]

Janeway: Not this shit again!

 

[Orac]

Janeway: Stop it Q! This isn't funny!