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Voyager Caption Contest 123: No, Just No

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Chakotay: So it's decided, from this day forth "EMH" shall stand for "Emergency Maniacal Program." Nobody tell the Doctor.

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Tuvok: I have checked Starfleet regulations and command decisions on other ships for precedent. It shall be the opinion of the ships security division that "He who smelt it, dealt it." Dismissed.

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Janeway: No, Chakotay. I plan on having a headache for the rest of my life.
 
I can't see KJ's post maybe she deleted it but here is my reply to that. "It would seem so."

I thought of this one where the Sages almost willed it :D

Kathryn: I don't know how much longer I can pretend I'm no longer a captain. I just want to bark at him to knock over that sand art, "Do it!" ravishing him on this table. And Then order 'Coffee: Black!'


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I am enjoying this as if it weren't obvious yet ....I wish others would keep going. I look like a caption contest hog :lol:

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Neelix: I thought if I became Klingon my request to relocate to security wouldn't fall on deaf ears.

Janeway: I'm sorry. What?
 
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Doc:….And is that Kes dressed as an Orion Slave Girl back here?
 
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Janeway: "Computer, open Hoodeck doors."

Computer: "Holodeck two is currently in use."

Janeway: "By whom?"

Computer: "Crewman Kes."

Janeway: "Override."

Computer: "Acknowledged. Enter when ready."

Doors open, they enter.

Master Neelix: "Welcome to the cave of forbidden pleasures! Please state the length, width, curve, and color of choice."

Janeway: "Ah, we're not talking about isolinear chips, are we?"
 
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Janeway: What's this?

Neelix: You haven't had a Thanksgiving dinner until you had it in Klingon





p.s. Yes, I'm covering all the bases
 
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Klingon Neelix: Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam ... and come back two days later from a cave.

(Now that's covering all bases)
 
Klingon Neelix: A toll is a toll and roll is a roll. If we don't get no tolls then we don't eat no rolls" *bashfully adds* I made that up.

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Neelix: Halt!
He who would enter the Cave of Death
Must answer me
These questions three
Ere the other side he see.
Janeway: Paris and his insertion of archaic Earth comedy into EVERY HOLOGRAM ROUTINE must be stopped.

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Neelix: STOP! You don't have the National Parks agency's required equipment for spelunking. You must acquire this list of gear and a license to spelunk at the Park Office at the entrance.

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Tuvok: Our new security protocols will involve patdowns prior to any person entering the bridge.
Paris: Tuvok, that's nuts. We have scanners. And who's doing the patting, huh, some churl down in security?
Kes, brightly: I am!
Paris: Well, nevermind then.

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Chakotay: Wanna see the rest of my tats?
Janeway: Don't even.


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Paris: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Chakotay: Uh, stuck in the Delta Quadrant.
Neelix: Would you call yourself a 'people' person?
Chakotay: Sure, I like people. I'm a good judge of character. 'Cept when it comes to picking crewmates, maybe. A few of my most trusted associates have turned out to be working against me.
Tuvok: What prior experience do you have that suggests you would be a good fit for our ship's CO position?
Chakotay: I used to captain my own ship.
Tuvok: Why did you leave that position?
Chakotay: I was uh, betrayed by some of the crew. And arrested.
Kes: Well, Mr. Chakotay, this has been just lovely. We'll keep your resume for six months, and if you don't hear from us before then, please don't hesitate to apply again.
 
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