Voyager Caption Contest 123: No, Just No

[Captain Kathryn]

Greetings Voyager Fans!

I am sincerely sorry for the long wait. I will try to update monthly from now on! I had a busy time the past few months and was on a 2-week trip to England which feels like it actually took about 1 month out of my life for all the planning and time it took to prepare for it. Sorry for the wait guys!!!

Here here for the winners! Your long-awaited glory has arrived!

RAMSEY: Enough of the f****** leola root!! There are a million f****** ingredients in this f****** kitchen!!! F****** pick another one!!!!!

TUVOK: I wouldn't worry. Given that our jobs have no overlap, it is logical to assume that the two of us will have little or no contact with each other.
NEELIX: Haha. Somebody isn't very familiar with the science of CHARACTERS WITH OPPOSITE PERSONALITIES!

The Doctor: Get a hold of yourself, man! They're health inspectors, not a firing squad.
Neelix: In this kitchen, one might lead to the other!

Neelix: Just act like you know a skill and they'll let you stay. I chose cooking.
Oxilon: But you're a horrible cook.
Neelix: They don't know that. They think lifeforms from our section of the universe eats the crap I make.

"Kes, I've recently found out about an intriguing Earth custom that the Human crew will sometimes engage in. They will contact their 'ex' for what they refer to as ... a 'Booty Call'."

Neelix: When I get my hands on Captain Kathryn, I'm going to...
Doctor: Relax, man. She'll have another contest up in no time.

Kes: Neelix, for the last time, I don't want to have a staring contest.
Neelix: ...
Kes: I think we should see other people.

"'What's for Lunch' you ask, Captain? Well, I'll tell you:
It's Hot. Brown. And there's plenty of it ..."

Doctor: Don't try any funny moves Talaxian. I am a doctor...I know where you keep your genitals!

Neelix: Ever get that 'not so fresh' feeling?
Wixiban: Yes.
Neelix: How do I add it to a stew?
Wixiban: Leola root.
Neelix: Genius.

Alrighty Voyager fans, here are the new captions! Caption your heart out!

(Is it just me or does this caption look like Chakotay is trying to...disrobe...and Janeway is looking away? Or is it just my dirty mind?)

 

[tharpdevenport]

Tuvok: "Steady there. I know you've been serving a 78 year life sentence, but things aren't that different from then as they are now."

Alien: "What's changed?"

Tuvok: "Some new peace agrements, some new wars, new technological discoveries, and Captain Kathryn finally put up a new contest."

Alien: "Wow! I was 12 and free when the last one was up!"

 

[Captain Kathryn]

Good one, good one.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Janeway begins to think about the "walk of shame" back to her quarters.

 

[Captain Kathryn]

Alright, I won't pick myself as the winner, but I must caption this.

Chakotay: I'm sorry, Kathryn. But, I only ever make my Native American sand art while in my birthday suit.
Janeway: Why do you need to make sand art?
Chakotay: To show the viewers how stereotypically Native American I am. I'm going to take off my shirt now. Mmmm... now the paaaaants!
Janeway: I'm not looking!
Chakotay: Oh but you want to, Kathryn. YOU WANT TO. You want to watch me make this sand art all... nekkid.
Janeway: Dammit, I hate it when you're right.

 

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY:Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!

NEELIX: What?

JANEWAY:Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!

NEELIX: What's so funny?

JANEWAY:Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!

 

[JirinPanthosa]

IT LIVES!

tftw

TUVOK: Why did you try to sabotage the ship?
ALIEN: I had no choice! They said they'd finally let me out of these heavy prosthetics! It's just so hot in here...I couldn't take it anymore!

DOCTOR: We must be on Kronos.
JANEWAY: How do you know we're on Kronos?
DOCTOR: In Breaking Bad, how do you know if you're in Mexico?
JANEWAY: Everything is yellow.
DOCTOR: Everything is dark red.
JANEWAY: Egads, we must be on Kronos!

ROBERT BELTRAN: I suppose you're wondering why I've called you all here today. Kate and Robert are getting much more screen time than us, and I think it's time we fought back.

KES: I guess it's time I explained something about Ocampans to you. I didn't say anything because I assumed it worked the same for all species. We procreate by touch, and the male gets pregnant. So...Neelix, Tom, Harry. I've got some bad news.

CHAKOTAY: No really, I work out all the time! I've even got a six pack! Here, let me show you.

 

[Captain Kathryn]

I want to keep captioning the last one SO MANY times.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

(47-minute pause.)

Chakotay: Uh...you mean nobody brought the booze?

 

[2takesfrakes]

WooHOO!!! Thanks for the win >: )

"Don't love her! She'll kill you if you love her! ... I love you, Seven."

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Kathryn, let me show you my tatoo. It's of two dogs ... doing it."

 

[Nebusj]

Paris: ``Tell Neelix, the meat shortage is over.''

Chakotay: ``Because it's my table, that's why it's decorated with a giant Mars-Male ♂ symbol pointing at me. All me, all mine!''

 

[Finn]

Neelix: Eating without Leola Root is without honor!

Harry: Psst, Tom. When is he going to say something?

Tom: I don't know… At least, the Captain will be back tomorrow from visiting that planet where everybody communicates like they are in a Concert. I"m sure she wished the doctor didn't come along.

B'Elanna: He was like this in our maquis days, guys. The only reason I accepted this uniform was that we wouldn't have to go through this everyday.

 

[Finn]

Neelix: We are here about the Secret Santa gift you gave out last night. Naomi isn't happy about it

Tuvok: Christmas is three months away

Neelix: This contest probably will still be running over the Holidays

Tuvok: Mmm..I can see the logic in that.

 

[bbjeg]

Alien: Just let me touch them once, please.

Chakotay: OK, I relieved Janeway. We know she's unsuited to command. Tom clearly created a form of travel that would get us home.
Tom: But it will turn us into lizards.
Chakotay: Which is curable. I'll leave the Doctor's program running to cure us when we're done the trip. Enough of this exploratory bullshit, let's go home.

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Kathryn, I saw a spider monkey outside ... so .... let's keep him! Can we?"

 

[Hutchy01]

It was at this point Tuvok regretted not taking Kes to his quarters for the "Mental Training"

Chakotay: Kathryn, We appear to have fallen into a alternate timeline where all the slash fiction is part of our relationship

Chakotay: Welcome to Delta mind the Buzzcocks...

 

[Schistocerca]

Chakotay: So we are all agreed. Our top priority is to find the giant key that fits this giant keyhole!

(Thanks for the win and welcome back)

 

[Schistocerca]

With a sense of rising panic Neelix realised his girdle had come undone, right in the middle of the staff meeting.

Alien: But Tom...I only agreed because you said you loved me!
Tom to Seven: If he says anything about a rose tattoo on my inner thigh I don't know anything he is talking about.

 

[Triskelion]

TFT#1 Captain Kathryn! Woo-Hoo!

Caatati: Borg! Boooorg! Sign my tennis ball, Björn Borg!
Tom: I get this all the time.

Neelix: I got this ensemble at the Qo'noS Galleria Sears & Rachtbucks boys department!

Chaks: All I'm sayin' is a table's got one effing job to do. Be an effing table.

Tuvok: Due to low energy reserves I enriched all replicator beverages with milk taken from Neelix's vestigial mammary glands.

Kes: And now let the chain reaction vomiting commence.

Chaky: Ever wonder if the tattoo goes all the way?
Janes: You have a tattoo?
Chaky: I'm just an Amerindian blur to you, aren't I.
Janes: You're an Amerindian?