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Voyager Caption Contest 122: Hedgehog Problems

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Neelix: Captain, your chicken salad is almost ready, i just need to finish deep frying the lettuce.

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The Doctor: No, Mister Neelix! Singing to B'Elanna will not be therapeutic! You'll kill us all!
 
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Neelix: Just act like you know a skill and they'll let you stay. I chose cooking.
Oxilon: But you're a horrible cook.
Neelix: They don't know that. They think lifeforms from our section of the universe eats the crap I make.

LOL. You stole my joke. Was thinking the exact same thing when I saw this picture.
 
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NEELIX: "...arrr ...help. Kes, w...w...what's happeningggg to me?"
KES: "Well, you know... I've been meaning to tell you. This relationship just isn't working. That's why I'm ending it right now. I've telepathically hypercharged your spicy peppers. Goodbye Neelix. It was only a matter of time before your food would kill you. Giggle."
 
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OXILON:Leola root? We feed that to farm animals back home to fatten them them up for slaughter!

NEELIX: Shhhhhhh!
 
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"Kes, I've recently found out about an intriguing Earth custom that the Human crew will sometimes engage in. They will contact their 'ex' for what they refer to as ... a 'Booty Call'."
 
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"ONLY EVERY SEVEN YEARS?!"


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The Doctor: Get a hold of yourself, man! They're health inspectors, not a firing squad.
Neelix: In this kitchen, one might lead to the other!

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Neelix: COUNTERCLOCKWISE. Stir COUNTERCLOCKWISE.


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Neelix: What do you mean, YOU LIKE TOM PARIS' cooking?!


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Neelix: Captain, something in that dish is staring at me.
Janeway: Whatever it is can't be as repulsive as your shirt, Neelix. There's comfort in that.
 
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Neelix: ``I guess my only complaint really is that my hat isn't Photoshopped into this picture.''


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Neelix would never lose his delight at how Tuvok fell for the ``got-your-nose'' prank every…single…time.


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Doctor: ``Now listen to me, we may be down 21 points at the half and our first-stringers may all be down for the count, but this is Team Voyager, mister, and we never give up! Now you get your outfit on, you stride out on that field like you're the best quarterback to ever play the game, and you win one for everyone on this ship you ever cared about! Any questions?''
Neelix: ``Yes, ah, on the play charts, are we the X's or the O's?''


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Neelix: ``So, long story short, it turns out we were the O's, and that's why I'm working the stock room again.''


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Neelix: ``Me? Play Ulysses S Grant in the big pageant? I'm honored! I'm flattered! It's everything I ever wanted! … Who's Ulysses S Grant?''
 
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"Oh, Neelix ... you're so dumb. You didn't notice how I put this finger in the soup and put this finger in my mouth. I'm not poisoned, after all, for having broken up with you. I guess I'll just have to add 'Murdering Bastard' to my list of reasons, won't I?"
 
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Kes: Neelix, I'm going to change my hairstyle.

Neelix: Great idea, Kes!

Kes: Yeah, it'll help me get back in the game, now that I'm single.

Neelix: What?!

Kes: Oops. Did I forget to send that email?
 
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Paris: (OS) What are you doing, Neelix? We haven't done this program in years.

Neelix:….

Paris:… and why is Kes's proportions off and why are her eyes yellow?
 


Neelix silently contemplates the disturbing knowledge that even though Kes seems to be a gorgeous adult, she's actually younger than his eyebrows. :confused:
 
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Kes: Oh, I forgot to tell you, Neelix. We had to grow that food the old-fashioned way. The "fertilizer" came from each member of the crew.
 
As Neelix gazes at the angelic face of his beloved, he summons his courage to say the seven most difficult words a man can utter to the woman he truly loves.

"Sweetie, ummm . . . you have spinach between your teeth."

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Neelix: When I get my hands on Captain Kathryn, I'm going to...

Doctor: Relax, man. She'll have another contest up in no time.
 
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