Voy Caption Contest #38 *&%$ Happens!

[Yeoman Randi]

Hello fellow Drones! It's time to shift into warp drive with a new caption contest. But first let's put the old one to bed by announcing da winnas!


For knowing that you can never go wrong with a Princess Bride reference we have:

Ensign, you just fell for one of the classic blunders. The most famous is "never get involved in a land war in Asia," but only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a Native American when death is on the line!!!"

For using an old favorite that just fit perfectly with this picture we have~

Where will you be when diarrhoea strikes?

For clearly stating the obvious the win goes to:

Janeway: "Harry, why does it always feel like it takes forever to explain things to you?"

For finally putting a face to the name we have:

TOM:And for you skeptics...may I introduce my friend, the Crown Prince of Nigeria!

For somehow being able to perform a Vulcan Mind Meld on me the win goes to:

B'Elanna: "Oh no... I'm trapped in an Ally McBeal metaphor!"

And this week the Special Spew Award goes to LeadHead/Deadhead for invoking an honest-to-goodness Porky Pig snort out of me:

B'Elanna: Computer, are you sure the calculations are correct?

Computer: Affirmative.

B'Elanna: Then it's true, I do have the self control of an infant.

CONGRATULATIONS to all the winners!

And now for your captioning pleasure we have the following:

And in the hopes of getting some photoshops going we have:

As always, i'll let this run two weeks. Have fun, set a course for home and engage!

 

[Mistral]

Janeway: "What? No, we weren't smoking anything! What gave you that idea?"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Doctor: "It's just a power-drain problem. It happens every time Ensign Kim runs 'Vulcan Love Slave' on the holodeck."

Kathy: "Mom! Dad! I thought you were going to be gone all weekend!"

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

Doctor: My body'll stay here but my head is getting the hell outta here. I don't wanna look at you anymore.

Chakotay: Kathryn?

Janeway: Oh crap, I'm supposed to be dating you this episode aren't I?

Paris: This is somehow.... comforting.

Q: What?

Paris: That even omnipotent beings can't understand women. Makes me feel less bad about it.

Chakotay 's attempts to kill Janeway and become Captain always misfired.

You know Yeoman Rancid, this picture is already photoshopped! Heh, that was easy.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win!

EMH: "... and this is your head on drugs... "

Chakotay os: "The Capellans called, they want their carpet costume back."
Janeway: "Oh snap!"

Q: "Look, if I score with Kathy, Voyager's on a shortcut home. So it's in your best interest to help me. I'm new to this humanoid mating nonsense, so I could use a few pointers on all this gender identity confusion. I'm supposed to be masculine, right, manly? So tell me if I'm doing something which could be misinterpreted by Kathy."

Paris: "First thing, get your hand off my ass."

Kim: "Both our asses."

Q: "Those aren't my hands..."

Janeway: "Note in the ship's log. Fourth of July no longer to be celebrated on the bridge."

Kivas Fajo: "I'll swap you my Tuvok card for a limited edition Borg Baby card. Or, I'll take the rare Cardassian face Seska card and a strip of latinum."

 

[Itisnotlogical]

Tom: Are you okay, Doc?

Doctor: I just watched a few episodes of Enterprise. I'll be back to normal in a few minutes.

Tom was seriously considering taking what Kim missed out on...

Janeway: DAMMIT CHAKOTAY! I TOLD YOU TO STOP DOING YOUR INDIAN MAGIC ON THE BRIDGE!

Chell: Computer, who were the last three people to access my holo-porn program?

 

[Nerys Myk]

PARIS: I gotta lay off the LDS in the Haight-Ashbury holo-program.

Whatever happened to all this season's losers of the year?
Ev'ry time I got to thinking, where'd they disappear?
When I woke up, Mom and Dad are rolling on the couch.
Rolling numbers, rock and rolling, got my Kiss records out

"Weekend At Q's"

JANEWAY: Hold relative position here.
(klaxon sounds alert for incoming alien weapon)
HARRY: Mister Tuvok? Can that be one of their crew?
TUVOK: A probe from their vessel, Captain. Plasma-energy combination.
CHAKOTAY: Don't interfere with it!
HARRY: Absolutely I will not interfere.
JANEWAY: No one interfere. It doesn't seem interested in us, only the ship. ...Computer off.
CHAKOTAY: Its taken control of the computer!
JANEWAY: It's running our records. Earth defences, ...Starfleet strength,

Harry had been on Spacebook for over a year but only had three friends.

 

[Smellincoffee]

The Doctor: Yes, Mr. Paris, 'the wave'. It is an archaic, 20th-century pattern of body movement designed to serve as an entertaining diversion at athletic events. Allow me to demonstrate.

Q: Now, you boys play nice or you can just go and sit in the car while your mother and I enjoy the beach.
Janeway, off-screen: The hell we will, Q.

Gath: That odd tas- oh, bollocks. This is the cup I spiked.

Janeway, shouting: MR. KIM! How many times must I remind you to change those bulbs before they blow out?
Paris, thinking: ...annnnnd he wonders why he's still an ensign.

 

[M'Sharak]

Kes loved the reactions people sometimes had when she toyed with the doctor's Horizontal hold setting.

 

[Candlelight]

Janeway: "It's doing that thing again"
Chakotay: "Sure it is"
Janeway: "Why can't any of you see it??"
Tuvok: "Mm-Huh"
Janeway: "SCREW YOU ALL"

 

[Captain Crow]

Q: Everyone knows you and Harry are gay for each other. Just admit it.

Paris: Computer, adjust EMH's tracking.

 

[Candlelight]

Paramount's early attempts at 3D were shitastic.

 

[T.D. Possum]

Janeway, singing:

Swingin' on the rail,
I'm swingin' on the rail,
The bridge is blowin' up,
But I'm swingin' on the rail!

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Q-Moe: *Bangs Harry and Tom's heads together* "Nyuk nyuk!"

 

[Finn]

"Tom, Did I ever tell you about the time I made Wesley all grown up?.... You would have loved him, Harry".

Torres: *via combadge* "...and Captain, I have to warn you. Once the new transwarp goes online, it will be electrifiying!"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Janeway: "Christ on a cracker, Tom! Do I have to do everything on this ship myself!"

 

[Rett Mikhal]

"A communications disruption can mean only one thing... invasion."

Janeway: "He said he knew over a million kazoo songs. I said there aren't a million kazoo songs. He said there are. He. Said. There... Are."

Q: "Have you two ever seen 'Three Men and a Baby'?"

Janeway: "Who installed this fireworks display system?!"
Tom: "Harry and I did it."
Janeway: "It's very distracting! Pretty, though."

"This crew looks unpredictable and ready to hump."

 

[Isis]

Q: "Do as I say and next time I'll put you in men's clothes."

 

[Mistral]

Q: "Look, Mr. Paris, Harry and I just found each other. In the cosmic scheme of things it was inevitable. And trust me, I know all about cosmic things, don't I Harry?"

 

[Mistral]

Janeway: "Was that Mr. Kim? Tom, this had better not be one of your practical jokes! Although it is funny!"

Paris : "Ah, Captain?"

Janeway: "He's right behind me, isn't he?"