Future Cop: I have pulled you over for violation of canon.
Trek XI Caption Contest #8: Excuse Me?!
- Thread starter Rat Boy
- Start date
Future Cop: I have pulled you over for violation of canon.
Whoa, thanks!!
(My dad is a cop, so I can totally use this):
(Narrator Dude From National Geographic TV): Here, we see a male "cop" in pursuit of his prey. Even in the 23rd Century, these so-called "cops" were able to scent and track doughnuts with amazing accuracy. A lack of vegetation or civilization for miles in any direction wouldn't stop them. The male "cop's" uncanny ability to smell those sweet, deep-fried pieces of ring-shaped dough and track them down with all the relentless effort of a bloodhound often made them the butt of jokes, as can be seen in some of the literature left behind by our ancestors. But make no mistake -- though it may seem humorous to us now, a "cop" tracking a doughnut was a force to be reckoned with. (Cut to picture of carnage resulting from "obstruction of doughnut")
The look on Uhura's face when he stepped onto the bridge made Captain James T. Kirk painfully aware that the old idiom was still true: never, EVER piss off a black woman. Ever.
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UHURA: "Thank you for calling the Starship Enterprise. Your call is important to us. If you'd like to save the galaxy from total annihilation, please press 1. To restore the timeline, please press 2. For inappropriate laughter at the expense of the First Officer after the untimely death of a seemingly important crewman, please press 3."
(Caller presses 4)
UHURA: "You have selected...saving the galaxy from total annihilation"
(Caller is silent)
UHURA: "You have selected...Dr. McCoy exclaims that he is a doctor, rather than some other occupation."
CALLER: "What?"
UHURA: "Why don't you just tell me what outcome you have selected!"
Nowhere Man
Commodore
Finally, the long winded rumour that Tom Cruise was to make a cameo appearence in Abrams' Star Trek was reality.
Future Cop:I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.
GEICO Hovercycle Insurance
So easy a cybernetic cop can do it(TM)
UHURA:"According to the frosted flatscreen Hoth Echo Base thingy, continuity just dropped to 31% and we're losing canonical integrity!"
Cop: oil can, oillll can.
Uhura: Welcome to Chili's Let's pepper in some FUN!
And the second one I'm allowed cause I WORK FOR CHILIS as my day job.
Future Cop: Before I ticket you there is something you should know about us, James Tiberius Kirk.
Kirk: What?
Future Cop: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
Kirk: What's that make us?
Future Cop: Absolutely nothing! Which is what your license is about to become!
"Officer 147 to Dispatch...
Have pulled over hovervan that appears to be made out of pure marijuana and heading in direction of New Los Angeles...going over to investigate!"
"According to this readout, sir, the little white lines are next to the fatter white lines and close to collision with the little Dolby Surround logo!"
Kirk: <zip> Just letting it hang out Spock, little bit of air is good for the undercarriage.
Spock: Sir, that's a console display, not one way glass.
"I'm just a simple man trying to make my way in the Midwest."
"Do we really need sneeze guards this big on the BRIDGE, sir?"
Cop: "Let me see your identification."
Obi-Wan Kenobi: "You don't need to see his identification."
Cop: "No, I need to see your identification."
Obi-Wan Kenobi: "It's not working. Floor it, Luke!"
Excellent!
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