"Hi there, and thank you for this generous award! I've sent this video message because unfortunately I can't be with you tonight as I'm currently shooting my next film, on location in the Middle East. I do, however, have this message to say to all the people watching...
[starts sweating, looks off camera]
'The United States is an unwanted presence in this territory... [whimper, sob] if you do not meet the following demands, my captives will start executing people, one each day.'
[long pause, sniffle]
[very quickly] IwannathankmywifeandkidsTELLTHEMILOVETHE--"
[gunshot]