Hello. 
The latest ST:Bounty ‘adventure’ is just about ready to go as we plod towards the middle of ‘Season Two’. And this one might just be the silliest one yet.
As ever, I’ll try to leave context notes for any bits of backstory/ongoing arcs, but this is pretty much a standalone bit of stupidity. And any terrible, cliched writing that follows is (unlike every other Bounty story) entirely deliberate. 
Hope you enjoy reading!
Star Trek: Bounty is a slightly off-kilter series set in the Trek universe that focuses on the adventures of the ragtag crew of a small civilian ship, who do what they can to get by in the Alpha Quadrant. They're not exactly Starfleet spec, but they try to keep on the right side of the moral line where they can.
The story so far:
=============================================================
Star Trek: Bounty
2.06
“Any Resemblance to Actual Persons is Purely Coincidental”
Prologue
Why was it always Nausicaans?
Jirel Vincent stood heroically poised on one side of the cavern, his right foot propped up on a rocky outcrop as he stared grimly across the dank expanse at the line of adversaries in front of him. Ten burly Nausicaans stared right back at him. Each wielded a sharp blade in their hand, and each leered with deadly intent.
But Jirel didn’t flinch. The Trill maintained his heroic pose and did what he always did when he could tell that a fight was unavoidable.
He pulled off his tight-fitting vest top and tossed it to one side, revealing the perfectly sculpted physique underneath. Two delicate rows of spots ran down either side of his bulging pectoral muscles and tapered down either side of his improbable washboard abs.
He was more than faintly proud to see that one or two of the Nausicaans flinched at the sudden display of raw masculinity, and he casually flexed his immense biceps to add to the effect.
“Ok then,” he called out, his booming voice filling every corner of the cavern, “Let’s do this.”
If he needed any more encouragement, it came from a familiar and significantly more fragile voice crying out in peril.
“Jirel! Please! Help me!”
He turned his square-jawed features to the source of the plea, where one of the Nausicaans at the front of the pack had a hefty arm wrapped around the hapless form of Natasha Kinsen, her long red hair billowing around her shoulders. He instantly felt his heart race as he saw her, so beautiful and so fragile.
And he also noted that the force with which the brutish Nausicaan had snatched her moments earlier had been enough to rip the flimsy fabric of her favourite skintight silver jumpsuit.
As outfits went, it wasn’t exactly standard issue. But that didn’t matter on a ship that played as fast and loose with the rules as the Bounty did. And, as a red-blooded male, Jirel had certainly never had cause to complain about her penchant for such attire. Right now, as she writhed in vain in the grip of the monstrous creature that had kidnapped her, the already daring neckline of her suit revealed even more of her cleavage thanks to the hefty rip in the delicate fabric.
It took all of Jirel's iron will to force himself to refocus on his enemies, before his wandering eyes got lost in lustful desire.
“Help me, Jirel!” she despairingly cried out again, “You’re my only hope!”
The muscular Trill cracked his knuckles as he sized up the Nausicaans again.
“Don’t worry, gorgeous,” he called out to her with a cocky, pearly-toothed grin, “I’m gonna have you back in my arms in no time.”
Despite her perilous position, Natasha couldn’t help but feel a sense of reassurance, along with a distinct flicker of desire at the sight of her lover in all of his overtly masculine glory.
Before Jirel had a chance to charge forwards and mount an immediate rescue, he felt a calming presence next to him. He didn’t need to look around to know that Sunek was at his side.
“If I may just interject,” his faithful and unflappably stoic Vulcan counsel offered, “There is no logic in attempting this assault. It is highly improbable that we will be able to defeat ten battle-ready Nausicaans.”
The shirtless Trill glanced at the Vulcan, who was clad in his ubiquitous white robes that indicated his ascension to the highest levels of logic, and couldn’t help but laugh heartily.
“Ah, Sunek, my oldest friend,” he exposited unnecessarily, roughly slapping the wiry Vulcan on the back for good measure, “You crack me up sometimes.”
Sunek regarded him with a curious look and a precisely raised eyebrow.
“To suggest that I am capable of such an action is…not logical.”
Jirel stifled another hearty guffaw, before turning back to the patiently waiting Nausicaan gang and clenching his jaw, and several of his more glamorous muscles to boot.
“Well, there’s not a lot that’s logical about what we do out here, is there? But we always get through in the end. Especially with our…secret weapon, hmm?”
Sunek considered this additional piece of clunky exposition and nodded, maintaining his stance next to his captain and mentally preparing for his own part in their forthcoming battle.
“Listen,” Jirel called out to the Nausicaans with multiple layers of bravado, “We’re just out here to track down the Stone of Unity and claim the two thousand bricks of latinum as a reward. We had no beef with you guys. Until you took…my woman.”
“You killed our leader back on Risa, Trill!” the Nausicaan clutching the helpless Natasha spat back, “And for that, you will pay dearly!”
“I believe that to be an accurate summation of the reasons for their discontent towards us.” Sunek calmly pointed out.
“Hey, it’s not my fault the guy didn’t take kindly to me beating him at dom jot,” Jirel smirked back at the Nausicaan, “But, look, I’m a good guy, so I’ll give you one more chance to let her go, and get the hell out of here.”
The row of enemies maintained their positions, and kept their blades raised.
“Alright,” the Trill continued with a slightly mocking tone, “But don’t say I didn’t warn you. Denella, you ready?”
The Nausicaans looked a little less sure of themselves as Denella stepped out of the shadows to Jirel's right. The impossibly beautiful Orion woman slinked into the light with a well-practiced sultry swagger, clad only in her ubiquitous cloth bikini.
“I thought you’d never ask,” she purred back at Jirel with a voice like Tholian silk.
He failed to prevent a slightly lascivious leer from creeping onto his chiselled features in response, one that even the imperiled Natasha was able to pick up on. Not that she had much cause to complain about that. After all, she had been seduced by the Orion temptress and her pheromonal charms almost as often as he had.
“Alright,” Jirel nodded with a cool sense of command, “Denella, unleash Klath!”
Denella draped a hand onto her scantily-clad green thigh and smiled back at the Nausicaans.
“Oh dear, boys,” she offered in her usual lust-tinged tone, wiggling her hips to emphasise her speech, “I think you came to the wrong party…”
She delicately pressed a control surface running along the string of her bikini briefs, and the cavern immediately filled with an unearthly roar. The Nausicaans looked around the confines of their location, all suddenly fearful. Not even their worst nightmares could have predicted what was coming.
Out of nowhere, Klath, fully powered up in his all-black battle armour, charged into the middle of the group of stunned adversaries.
With a feral, animalistic roar, the Bounty’s enormous destroyer tore into the nearest Nausicaan, before flinging him into the rock face at the back of the cavern with a sickening crunch.
He grabbed a second Nausicaan as they tried to flee, biting into this one with his fangs and wringing him from side to side like a tiger toying with its prey, before clamping down harder and snapping the weakened foe’s neck clean in two.
Jirel looked at Denella and Sunek, before flexing his muscles again.
“Come on then,” he grinned, “Why should he have all the fun?”
Denella winked back at him, and gently touched another tiny control interface secreted onto her minuscule outfit.
“Enable battle armour!” she called out, apparently to nobody in particular.
Her scant clothing shimmered, as her bespoke replicator link-up program supplied her with her fighting attire of choice. The solid gold bikini that appeared actually covered even less of her body than the cloth one it replaced, but it accentuated her figure in just the way she liked during battle. Which, as any woman would tell you, was the most important trait of a good set of armour, after all.
Satisfied with her instant costume change, she grabbed her dagger from the sheath on her hip and charged at the remaining Nausicaans.
Next to Jirel, Sunek dispassionately stepped to his left and caught a fleeing Nausicaan with a deft neck pinch, felling the brute instantly.
“Fascinating,” he muttered to himself as he watched his foe slump to the ground.
Jirel readied his own weapon of choice, his burly fists on the end of his tree trunk-sized arms, and raced at the Nausicaan holding onto Natasha, sending him flying with a single powerful punch.
As the flailing Nausicaan released his grip on Natasha, Jirel effortlessly caught her before she fell to the ground, holding up her entire slender body with one arm before pulling her in close.
She felt another rush of desire as she melted into the Trill’s strong arms, while he felt similar as he allowed himself a moment to appreciate her figure encased in the remains of her catsuit.
All around them, the battle continued to rage. Klath roared in victory as he flung another Nausicaan like a ragdoll across the cavern. Sunek dispensed another coldly logical neck pinch to subdue another foe. Denella cut down an enemy while carefully ensuring that all of her favourite angles were being kept visible to any and every observer.
Natasha looked up into the eyes of her captain, and her lover, and ran a quivering hand down his exposed muscular chest.
“Told you I’d have you back in my arms in no time,” Jirel beamed.
“My hero…” she whispered breathlessly back at him.
They kissed each other passionately, against the backdrop of carnage.
Suddenly, they froze in mid-embrace. In fact, the entire scene froze. As if time itself had stopped.
All that could be heard was a new and strangely confident voice, which drifted out over the top of the now-static image.
“The most incredible adventure in the four quadrants! Experience it now, not later! Immerse yourself in the astonishing adventures of Captain Jirel and the Starship Bounty, only three strips of latinum per player!”
As a rousing orchestral tune swelled up out of nowhere, a slightly quieter and more sped-up voice took over.
“Proof of purchase required before players may enter the holosuite. Double M Entertainment accepts no responsibility for any injuries sustained, including those caused by holosuite safety malfunctions outside of their control. In-play purchases are in operation, some may be needed to complete certain missions. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.”
After a few seconds, the advert began to play again from the start.
End of Prologue
The latest ST:Bounty ‘adventure’ is just about ready to go as we plod towards the middle of ‘Season Two’. And this one might just be the silliest one yet.
As ever, I’ll try to leave context notes for any bits of backstory/ongoing arcs, but this is pretty much a standalone bit of stupidity. And any terrible, cliched writing that follows is (unlike every other Bounty story) entirely deliberate. Hope you enjoy reading!
Star Trek: Bounty is a slightly off-kilter series set in the Trek universe that focuses on the adventures of the ragtag crew of a small civilian ship, who do what they can to get by in the Alpha Quadrant. They're not exactly Starfleet spec, but they try to keep on the right side of the moral line where they can.
The story so far:
Star Trek: Bounty - 101 - "Where Neither Moth nor Rust Destroys"
Star Trek: Bounty - 102 - "Be All My Sins Forgiven"
Star Trek: Bounty - 103 - "The Other Kind of Vulcan Hello"
Star Trek: Bounty - 104 - "It’s Not Easy Being Green"
Star Trek: Bounty - 105 - "Once Upon a Time in the Beta Quadrant"
Star Trek: Bounty - 106 - "He Feedeth Among the Lilies”
Star Trek: Bounty - 107 - “One Character in Search of an Exit”
Star Trek: Bounty - 108 - "A Klingon, a Vulcan and a Slave Girl Walk into a Bar"
Star Trek: Bounty - 109 - "But One Man of Her Crew Alive"
Star Trek: Bounty - 110 - "Take Arms Against a Sea of Tribbles"
Star Trek: Bounty - 111 - "Love, but With More Aggressive Overtones"
Star Trek: Bounty - 112 - "The Woman Who Cried, Among Other Things, Wolf"
Star Trek: Bounty - 113 - "Something Bad Happened Today"
Star Trek: Bounty - 102 - "Be All My Sins Forgiven"
Star Trek: Bounty - 103 - "The Other Kind of Vulcan Hello"
Star Trek: Bounty - 104 - "It’s Not Easy Being Green"
Star Trek: Bounty - 105 - "Once Upon a Time in the Beta Quadrant"
Star Trek: Bounty - 106 - "He Feedeth Among the Lilies”
Star Trek: Bounty - 107 - “One Character in Search of an Exit”
Star Trek: Bounty - 108 - "A Klingon, a Vulcan and a Slave Girl Walk into a Bar"
Star Trek: Bounty - 109 - "But One Man of Her Crew Alive"
Star Trek: Bounty - 110 - "Take Arms Against a Sea of Tribbles"
Star Trek: Bounty - 111 - "Love, but With More Aggressive Overtones"
Star Trek: Bounty - 112 - "The Woman Who Cried, Among Other Things, Wolf"
Star Trek: Bounty - 113 - "Something Bad Happened Today"
Star Trek: Bounty - 201 - “Something Good Happened Today”
Star Trek: Bounty - 202 - "The Bat, the Birds and the Beasts"
Star Trek: Bounty - 203 - "Three Minutes to Three Minutes to Three Minutes to Midnight"
Star Trek: Bounty - 204 - "Acquire, Evade, Retreat, Confront"
Star Trek: Bounty - 205 - "Zen and the Art of Corvallen Shuttlepod Maintenance"
Star Trek: Bounty - 202 - "The Bat, the Birds and the Beasts"
Star Trek: Bounty - 203 - "Three Minutes to Three Minutes to Three Minutes to Midnight"
Star Trek: Bounty - 204 - "Acquire, Evade, Retreat, Confront"
Star Trek: Bounty - 205 - "Zen and the Art of Corvallen Shuttlepod Maintenance"
=============================================================
Star Trek: Bounty
2.06
“Any Resemblance to Actual Persons is Purely Coincidental”
Prologue
Why was it always Nausicaans?
Jirel Vincent stood heroically poised on one side of the cavern, his right foot propped up on a rocky outcrop as he stared grimly across the dank expanse at the line of adversaries in front of him. Ten burly Nausicaans stared right back at him. Each wielded a sharp blade in their hand, and each leered with deadly intent.
But Jirel didn’t flinch. The Trill maintained his heroic pose and did what he always did when he could tell that a fight was unavoidable.
He pulled off his tight-fitting vest top and tossed it to one side, revealing the perfectly sculpted physique underneath. Two delicate rows of spots ran down either side of his bulging pectoral muscles and tapered down either side of his improbable washboard abs.
He was more than faintly proud to see that one or two of the Nausicaans flinched at the sudden display of raw masculinity, and he casually flexed his immense biceps to add to the effect.
“Ok then,” he called out, his booming voice filling every corner of the cavern, “Let’s do this.”
If he needed any more encouragement, it came from a familiar and significantly more fragile voice crying out in peril.
“Jirel! Please! Help me!”
He turned his square-jawed features to the source of the plea, where one of the Nausicaans at the front of the pack had a hefty arm wrapped around the hapless form of Natasha Kinsen, her long red hair billowing around her shoulders. He instantly felt his heart race as he saw her, so beautiful and so fragile.
And he also noted that the force with which the brutish Nausicaan had snatched her moments earlier had been enough to rip the flimsy fabric of her favourite skintight silver jumpsuit.
As outfits went, it wasn’t exactly standard issue. But that didn’t matter on a ship that played as fast and loose with the rules as the Bounty did. And, as a red-blooded male, Jirel had certainly never had cause to complain about her penchant for such attire. Right now, as she writhed in vain in the grip of the monstrous creature that had kidnapped her, the already daring neckline of her suit revealed even more of her cleavage thanks to the hefty rip in the delicate fabric.
It took all of Jirel's iron will to force himself to refocus on his enemies, before his wandering eyes got lost in lustful desire.
“Help me, Jirel!” she despairingly cried out again, “You’re my only hope!”
The muscular Trill cracked his knuckles as he sized up the Nausicaans again.
“Don’t worry, gorgeous,” he called out to her with a cocky, pearly-toothed grin, “I’m gonna have you back in my arms in no time.”
Despite her perilous position, Natasha couldn’t help but feel a sense of reassurance, along with a distinct flicker of desire at the sight of her lover in all of his overtly masculine glory.
Before Jirel had a chance to charge forwards and mount an immediate rescue, he felt a calming presence next to him. He didn’t need to look around to know that Sunek was at his side.
“If I may just interject,” his faithful and unflappably stoic Vulcan counsel offered, “There is no logic in attempting this assault. It is highly improbable that we will be able to defeat ten battle-ready Nausicaans.”
The shirtless Trill glanced at the Vulcan, who was clad in his ubiquitous white robes that indicated his ascension to the highest levels of logic, and couldn’t help but laugh heartily.
“Ah, Sunek, my oldest friend,” he exposited unnecessarily, roughly slapping the wiry Vulcan on the back for good measure, “You crack me up sometimes.”
Sunek regarded him with a curious look and a precisely raised eyebrow.
“To suggest that I am capable of such an action is…not logical.”
Jirel stifled another hearty guffaw, before turning back to the patiently waiting Nausicaan gang and clenching his jaw, and several of his more glamorous muscles to boot.
“Well, there’s not a lot that’s logical about what we do out here, is there? But we always get through in the end. Especially with our…secret weapon, hmm?”
Sunek considered this additional piece of clunky exposition and nodded, maintaining his stance next to his captain and mentally preparing for his own part in their forthcoming battle.
“Listen,” Jirel called out to the Nausicaans with multiple layers of bravado, “We’re just out here to track down the Stone of Unity and claim the two thousand bricks of latinum as a reward. We had no beef with you guys. Until you took…my woman.”
“You killed our leader back on Risa, Trill!” the Nausicaan clutching the helpless Natasha spat back, “And for that, you will pay dearly!”
“I believe that to be an accurate summation of the reasons for their discontent towards us.” Sunek calmly pointed out.
“Hey, it’s not my fault the guy didn’t take kindly to me beating him at dom jot,” Jirel smirked back at the Nausicaan, “But, look, I’m a good guy, so I’ll give you one more chance to let her go, and get the hell out of here.”
The row of enemies maintained their positions, and kept their blades raised.
“Alright,” the Trill continued with a slightly mocking tone, “But don’t say I didn’t warn you. Denella, you ready?”
The Nausicaans looked a little less sure of themselves as Denella stepped out of the shadows to Jirel's right. The impossibly beautiful Orion woman slinked into the light with a well-practiced sultry swagger, clad only in her ubiquitous cloth bikini.
“I thought you’d never ask,” she purred back at Jirel with a voice like Tholian silk.
He failed to prevent a slightly lascivious leer from creeping onto his chiselled features in response, one that even the imperiled Natasha was able to pick up on. Not that she had much cause to complain about that. After all, she had been seduced by the Orion temptress and her pheromonal charms almost as often as he had.
“Alright,” Jirel nodded with a cool sense of command, “Denella, unleash Klath!”
Denella draped a hand onto her scantily-clad green thigh and smiled back at the Nausicaans.
“Oh dear, boys,” she offered in her usual lust-tinged tone, wiggling her hips to emphasise her speech, “I think you came to the wrong party…”
She delicately pressed a control surface running along the string of her bikini briefs, and the cavern immediately filled with an unearthly roar. The Nausicaans looked around the confines of their location, all suddenly fearful. Not even their worst nightmares could have predicted what was coming.
Out of nowhere, Klath, fully powered up in his all-black battle armour, charged into the middle of the group of stunned adversaries.
With a feral, animalistic roar, the Bounty’s enormous destroyer tore into the nearest Nausicaan, before flinging him into the rock face at the back of the cavern with a sickening crunch.
He grabbed a second Nausicaan as they tried to flee, biting into this one with his fangs and wringing him from side to side like a tiger toying with its prey, before clamping down harder and snapping the weakened foe’s neck clean in two.
Jirel looked at Denella and Sunek, before flexing his muscles again.
“Come on then,” he grinned, “Why should he have all the fun?”
Denella winked back at him, and gently touched another tiny control interface secreted onto her minuscule outfit.
“Enable battle armour!” she called out, apparently to nobody in particular.
Her scant clothing shimmered, as her bespoke replicator link-up program supplied her with her fighting attire of choice. The solid gold bikini that appeared actually covered even less of her body than the cloth one it replaced, but it accentuated her figure in just the way she liked during battle. Which, as any woman would tell you, was the most important trait of a good set of armour, after all.
Satisfied with her instant costume change, she grabbed her dagger from the sheath on her hip and charged at the remaining Nausicaans.
Next to Jirel, Sunek dispassionately stepped to his left and caught a fleeing Nausicaan with a deft neck pinch, felling the brute instantly.
“Fascinating,” he muttered to himself as he watched his foe slump to the ground.
Jirel readied his own weapon of choice, his burly fists on the end of his tree trunk-sized arms, and raced at the Nausicaan holding onto Natasha, sending him flying with a single powerful punch.
As the flailing Nausicaan released his grip on Natasha, Jirel effortlessly caught her before she fell to the ground, holding up her entire slender body with one arm before pulling her in close.
She felt another rush of desire as she melted into the Trill’s strong arms, while he felt similar as he allowed himself a moment to appreciate her figure encased in the remains of her catsuit.
All around them, the battle continued to rage. Klath roared in victory as he flung another Nausicaan like a ragdoll across the cavern. Sunek dispensed another coldly logical neck pinch to subdue another foe. Denella cut down an enemy while carefully ensuring that all of her favourite angles were being kept visible to any and every observer.
Natasha looked up into the eyes of her captain, and her lover, and ran a quivering hand down his exposed muscular chest.
“Told you I’d have you back in my arms in no time,” Jirel beamed.
“My hero…” she whispered breathlessly back at him.
They kissed each other passionately, against the backdrop of carnage.
Suddenly, they froze in mid-embrace. In fact, the entire scene froze. As if time itself had stopped.
All that could be heard was a new and strangely confident voice, which drifted out over the top of the now-static image.
“The most incredible adventure in the four quadrants! Experience it now, not later! Immerse yourself in the astonishing adventures of Captain Jirel and the Starship Bounty, only three strips of latinum per player!”
As a rousing orchestral tune swelled up out of nowhere, a slightly quieter and more sped-up voice took over.
“Proof of purchase required before players may enter the holosuite. Double M Entertainment accepts no responsibility for any injuries sustained, including those caused by holosuite safety malfunctions outside of their control. In-play purchases are in operation, some may be needed to complete certain missions. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.”
After a few seconds, the advert began to play again from the start.
End of Prologue
