TREK BBS - Scenes You'd Like To See

[ITL]

Things you don't expect to hear from the TV weatherman during his report.

"And the bad weather is set to continue, as it will be pissing it down pretty much everywhere tomorrow. Any daft c*nts who get caught in it have only themselves to blame. Silly tw*ts. Where's my whiskey? What are you looking at? Yeah, you! No, not him next to you - You, you daft git!"

 

[K'Ehleyr]

"frankly I don't give a damn, I'm getting totally fed up with this job. We never get it right and you always moan whatever the weather is so what's the point ~ hell I'm going to the shopping channel..."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"Tonight's forecast: DARK. Continued dark tonight, with the possibility of widely scattered stars. Turning to mostly light in the morning."

 

[Zulu Romeo]

"The forecast for tomorrow: The skies shall be stripped bare and there will be endless darkness, radiation blasts from the sun, and the four corners of the Earth shall be scorched for evermore. So sayeth the prophecy of the 13th Knight of Dokh'Ta-Koooom."

 

[Triskelion]

" - it seems that only the heavy-grade umbrellas can hold up against the downpour of giant frogs, so wear your galoshes! Back to you, Ashley!"

 

[Zulu Romeo]

"As for tomorrow morning's forecast, there will be gloomy skies at the news editor's house when he finds me in bed with his three daughters and a video camera. It will have been a hot and sticky night..."

 

[K'Ehleyr]

"On a hot summer's night would you offer your throat to the wolf with the white roses... If so you're in luck, tonights going to be positively balmy ~ so all you wolves, off to the florists with you, Grrrrr"

 

[Zulu Romeo]

"And in tonight's forecast, there will be a heavy sprinkling of tactical nuclear detonations across southern and eastern England, temperatures ranging from a cool 8 Celsius to anything up to 5000 degrees... so, quite a muggy night to come then, heh, heh, heh..."

 

[Captain Shaw]

Why are you watching me just look out of the window.

 

[ITL]

"Today's weather is speculated to be dark, gloomy and very overcast as it's probably been ever since The Event - and when we're finally able to send a weatherman outside without them dying in horrible agony, we'll know for sure.

And as usual, REMAIN INDOORS."

 

[Zulu Romeo]

"Tomorrow's forecast will have a 80% chance of Laura Tobin, with a slight risk of her taking her top off."

 

[Plecostomus]

"This is the best job ever, I can be wrong 80% of the time and still get paid! Wait, is this mic on?"

 

[TheGodBen]

"Earlier on today, apparently, a woman rang the BBC and said she heard there was a hurricane on the way. Well if you're watching, don't worry, there isn't."

 

[RJDiogenes]

"You don't need me to know which way the wind blows."

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

"Today's forecast is slightly doomy with a chance of apocalpyse, with tomorrow's forecast showing an Ork battlefleet moving across the galactic rim spinward towards Orion, with the possibility of shattered planets. If you go outside tomorrow, do bring an umbrella."

 

[matthunter]

TV weathergirl: And tomorrow will be sunny but with scatte... oh, who cares, you're all just ogling my tits aren't you?

 

[Zulu Romeo]

"And in tonight's forecast, there's a 53% chance of Harrison Ford being a replicant and a 95% chance of Bruce Willis being a ghost."

 

[ITL]

"The sun ain't gonna shine anymore...
The moon ain't gonna rise in the sky...
The tears are always clouding your eyes...
When you're without her...

My wife's left me..."

 

[Zulu Romeo]

"And the outlook for you is... not good. Tomorrow morning you will be disembowled by a loan shark in a bespoke suit and Ray-Ban sunglasses, then have your beating heart ripped out and force-fed to your children as you watch in pain and agony. So sweet dreams and don't have nightmares. Goodnight. "

 

[ITL]

"And tomorrow will bring plenty of sunshine across the country. For those of you in Manchester, the sun - or "that weird not-rain thing" as you call it - is a giant ball of flaming gas that brings light and warmth to our world and is nothing to be afraid of.

And as usual, those of you who are of the vampiric persuasion should stay indoors for the duration."