TOS Caption Contest Scrimage #1

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: Damnit, Jim. This boy is gonna die and there's nothing I can do about it.
Chekov: Um, excuse me?!

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Your lyrics suck so hard, they'll cause a hull breach."

Spock: "Change it to this:

Spock is a Vulcan and they do not lie.
Space Hippies eat their babies when they get high.
We're all bi-sex.
We snort Dessenex.
And when our brain cells die, we just wave bye-bye.

Adam: "You ever gotten head from someone with meth-mouth?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Adam: "No way! You finished 'Beyond Antares' on Expert in Lute Hero?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Adam: "Thanks for writing lyrics for my songs."
Spock: "No problem. I just smoked a bunch of peyote."

 

[Nerys Myk]

ADAM: I'm thinking of going Country and Western. The Good Ol' Boys are looking for a lead singer.

SPOCK: Talk to Bob at the "Country Bunker". Drop my name and he'll give you a gig.

 

[xman]

Kirk: Try spitting on it.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: Try spitting on it.

Spock: "When I do, it spits back."

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Like a Tribble, Chekov's bisexual."

 

[Triskelion]

- and not even hum a note?
- not a note.
- and wear a suit?
- and wear a suit.
- and cut the do?
- most assuredly.
- make it out to Francis McHenry.
- best hundred bucks I ever spent.
- can I wear the leggings under my pants?
- if you want to be gutted like a halibut, Francis.

 

[Shatmandu]

Adam: "Well, thanks for the lesson."
Spock: "Pull up your skirt, bend over, and prepare to render payment."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Might want to get your eyes checked; that's an encyclopedia."

Kor: "*sigh* Attention K-Mart shoppers; there's a blue light special in aisle three. Blue light special, aisle three."

 

[Captain Crow]

Shatner: Why do you gay guys always have to have those ugly ass little dogs?

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Shatner: Why do you gay guys always have to have those ugly ass little dogs?

Takei: "So it doesn't show on their little faces when you put a finger up their asses."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "I just read the script for this episode. I may throw up on you."

 

[cooleddie74]

SULU:"I use his spinal ridge to sharpen my anal beads."

 

[cooleddie74]

ADAM:"This thing is NOW, Spock...

I mean...it's all cool and jive...but how do you put it in the Vulcan woman?"

 

[Captain Crow]

Sulu: Captain, mind if I take this back to the ship?

Kirk: Why?

Sulu: I've got an old familly recipe that uses dog.

Takei: Hey Bill, they decided to give your spare toupe a part in this episode.

McCoy: Jim, this man's an asshole.

Cogley: Want to see some of my old 16mm porn?

Kor: Damn it! The light bulb in my Easy-Bake Oven broke.

[dramatic music, camera zooms in on Kor, then fade out to commercial]

 

[Shatmandu]

Kor, after drilling another fart into his chair: "K'PLAH! TO THAT ROAST BEEF SANDWICH!"

 

[cooleddie74]

KOR:"Attention. This is Governor Kor.

If there is any native Organian who knows how to repair and troubleshoot an old 8-track tape deck, please report to my office in the citadel at ONCE.

This is the word of Kor. That is all."

 

[cooleddie74]

ADAM:"You jam on this thing, Brother?"

SPOCK:"On the rare days I'm sober...yes."