TOS Caption Contest Scrimage #1

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Uhura: Open your own mutha fuckin' hailing frequencies you fat, balding fuck.

Uhura: I'm gonna have to get me some of that fine Vulcan booty.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "The crew must have gotten into Carl's stash...AGAIN!"

Kirk: "Forget it. If that kid on Idol couldn't sing like Steven Tyler, then you've got no shot in hell."

Adams: "Oh, yes, Captain. There will be plenty of buggering, and you get to watch."

 

[Gary7]

Crewman: Black knee socks? Nobody told me we had to wear socks!

McCoy: "What, are you from a surfer town in California?"

 

[Gary7]

Adams: "Eat it, fanboys!"

 

[Gary7]

Morg: "Yes, it itch badly. Please scratch hard. Yes, but more to the right. No, my right."

 

[Gary7]

Morg: "Dude, what's the deal? You look so frail and pasty, like... like an Eymorg! Bwahahahahahaha!"

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: "Where are the women? Tell us what you know!"

Morg: "You mean, the givers of pain and delight?"

Kirk: "Yes! Yes, we want to find them."

Scotty: "Here lad, accept these chocolates and we'd be most grateful for the information."

 

[Rat Boy]

Ruk: "For the last time, I'm an android; I'm not on steroids."

Kirk: "Yeah, that's what Manny Ramirez said. Pee into the cup, big guy."

 

[Santa Kang]

ADAMS: And I'd like to thank the Noel Prize Committee for this great honor.

 

[Rat Boy]

Adams: "If you thought that Megan Fox Esquire video was hot, wait'll you see what I got cooking."

Noel: *gulp*

 

[Shatmandu]

Gnurk: "Let me get this straight: you're going to ask a woman about brains?"

Uhura, listening in, to herself: "Boy, the Captain is really laying some cable on Rand ..."

Scotty: "Well, if it ain't Chubbs and Split-Dick. Howarya?"

 

[Alrik]

Uhura: "This piece of shit Blue Tooth device is NOT hands free. I want a refund."

 

[Alrik]

Scotty: "Sorry boys, the keg is already floatin'. That's what ye get fer bein' late to the party."

 

[SantaEddie74]

"This is Tristan Adams at WUFP 2161 FM takin' requests until 2300 hours...first up is a little something I like to call 'Melody of a Three-Way.'"

 

[SantaEddie74]

RUK:"Curious.

I did not know the Old Ones installed track lighting."

 

[Rat Boy]

Ruk: "I sense a great disturbance in the Force. As if dozens of fanboys cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced."

Kirk: "Well, the new movie is opening today."

 

[SantaEddie74]

"I must leave now, Kirk.

Morticia and Gomez need me to prepare a four-course meal for the new neighbors before 1800 hours."

 

[Shatmandu]

Ruk: "Yesss, the Old Ones. They made me this big and gave me the genitals of a tick ... I remember!"

Adams: "You find me irresistible, Captain. And you don't mind it when your man has blisters on his wang."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Scotty just confessed to using your earpiece to apply his ointment."

Scotty, drunk: "Hey, Spocker, you wanna earn ten credits the hard way?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Uhura: <sniff, sniff> Why the hell does my earpiece smell like ass?!
Spock: (off-camara) Captain, I believe the Lieutenant has found your missing butt-plug.