TOS Caption Contest Scrimage #1

[Plum]

1960's Air Force Man: "What the fuck is 'Twitter'?"

Jesus, you're funny sometimes.

 

[Zachary Smith]

ENLISTED GUY: Hey, you're right. This show with the pointy-eared guy isn't bad. But you say it's been canceled?

OFFICER: After only TWO seasons! I'm writing a letter to the network right now to complain!

 

[Captain Crow]

Guy in front of TV: Can you beleave this clown? Does Shatner actually think he's fooling people with that thing on his head?

Guy in front of TV: Man I love playing Grand Theft Auto. [sound of metal bat hitting something] Give me that money bitch.

 

[Santa Kang]

ENLISTED MAN: Is Major Nelson supposed to have a chick in harem outfit in the capsule?

 

[Rat Boy]

Radar operator: "I just noticed something."

Captain: "What?"

Radar operator: "Florida looks like America's penis."

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: Spock whoever set that trap must be a genius of the highest caliber!

[cut to]

TV blaring the theme to "Sanford and Son"

 

[Triskelion]

Kirk: Nope, I was right. The Mugato is a male. You owe me one coke.
Spock: Indeed.

Man! Now they've photoshopped Sulu's face on that woman in a dress! How can you unsee that!

 

[SantaEddie74]

ENLISTED:"They're making fun of us on the BBS again, sir. Should I spike the site with that new virus R&D's been working on?"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

ENLISTED: "Ooh. Check this out. 100 cases of Brylcreem on e-bay for just $50. I got to have me a piece of that."

Officer: "Oh, yeah, because your head doesn't look like a cow just gave birth to it."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "He gets to use a gun? That's cheating!"

Rojam: "Now I'd like to apologize to you, Captain."

 

[SantaEddie74]

"Cooleddie's at it again sir.

How this BBS even stays afloat with his perverted miscreant ass as a member is beyond me."

 

[SantaEddie74]

McCOY:"Spock...do you like movies about...about gladiators?"

ROJAN:"My skin complexion is genetic...I'm NOT A METROSEXUAL, dammit!!!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Warren Stevens: "Dammit, first Forbidden Planet and now this? Why can't I ever get the girl?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Shatner: Warren, have you ever thought about a front 'piece for that shiny forehead of yours?
Stevens: Yeah because yours looks so so real.

 

[Santa Kang]

KEEPER: Everytime we turn around the specimen thinks "assless chaps"

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "I believe these are in fact Nazi Romans."

Keeper: "You think we're buying this shit about you having heat vision, Earther?"

 

[Captain Crow]

Pike: What do you Dickheads want with me?

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Gentlemen, please: the Doctor prefers it Greek."

Keeper: "He is filling his mind with hate and rage, to mask the arousal he feels when we turn around ..."

 

[Shatmandu]

Pike: What do you Dickheads want with me?

Keeper #1: "My name is Glans. This is Urethra."
<Pike giggles.>
Urethra: "Oh. We see why you're giggling. Let's just make it 'Keeper' for all of us, shall we?"

 

[Triskelion]

Spock: Your whole empire is a trompe-l'œil!
Gladiator: Er...no it's not??
Spock: Look, the wall is flat. You can feel it!
Gladiator: For the wall is hollow and I have touched myself!
McCoy: How long you been waiting to say that?

We'd like to let you out, but you see, then your resale would depreciate. C3PO will explain it to you.