TOS Caption Contest Scrimage #1

[Mistral]

Kirk: "Where is Outpost4? Tell me now, woman! What have you done with him?"

 

[cooleddie74]

Yet one more depraved Cooleddie idea gets turned into a New Voyages netisode.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Kirk; Alright dammit keep the brain, but what have you done to Engineer Scott's hair!

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: "It's no use... I just wrestled with Output4. He refuses to start a new contest."

Spock: "In that case Captain, I suggest you go take a shower. You smell awful."

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: I guess that'll teach me to eat so much mexican food!

Kirk: Spock alert the crew that the ships toilet is out of order.

Spock: Captain, I told you it was unwise to greet the leader of the Hooterons by saying "Hey hot mama with the big ass tits and a sweet ass" and then perform a motor boat on her.

Kirk: Well it usually works at family reunions.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Viva Las Risa.. take two.

SCOTTY: Ach! Unhand Ann-Margret ye bastard!!!!!

MCCOY: CUT!!!!!!! Okay, you got the hair cut, but thats the worst Elvis impersonation ever!!!!!

 

[Triskelion]

Uhura's dark place? You don't wanna know.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Spock: "See bitch, two into one does go!"

Girl: "Ok, Ok. I get it. I'll use mouthwash. Tell Shatner not to send for his stand in next time."

Barney the Klingon: "What are you getting so riled up about? All I did was ask your pretty little lady friend there with the cute accent with all the wubbleyous for a dance and a kiss."

Kirk: "The last time we were here, you made a quip about the roadrunner. I'm giving you a pre-emptive shut the fuck up on that one, this time."

Spock: "Indeed. I was merely going to state that the correct strategy is to start with wabbit season, pointing the shotgun towards yourself, in order to preemptively bluff the wabbit."

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "How was shore leave, Captain?"
Kirk: "I think I had sex with a bear."

 

[Shatmandu]

Abe Lincoln, offscreen: "Aw, jeez. Where's John Wilkes Booth when you need him?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Sarge: "He's at 20,000, 19,000, 20 again. What an asshole."

Cloud William: "Why it take so long for us to be in contest again?"

 

[Gary7]

Cloud William: "Why it take so long for us to be in contest again?"

Kirk: "Well, just like the Swine Flu, you never know when the rats will come drive you out into the open. Anyway, now that you're here, how about we pull the bars off that window and get the hell out of this nightmare of chaos?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Does Cloud Festus know you're drilling his granddaughter?"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"NO...

Sock it to me!!!"

 

[cooleddie74]

Worst fetish video EVER.

 

[M'Sharak]

Sarge: "He's at 20,000, 19,000, 20 again. What an asshole."

 

[Shatmandu]

1960's Air Force Man: "What the fuck is 'Twitter'?"

Cloud William: "Cloud Festus need new wife. You look like girl. You be Cloud Festus' new wife?"
Kirk: "Does he own his own hut?"

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: 'Watch this shit ..."
<McCoy pushes various combinations of buttons, making Spock eat dirt, Pop-Lock, and then punch himself in the nuts over and over as he does the Macarena.>

 

[Gary7]

Captain House: (to McCoy) "What did he call you? Bones? I hope that's not for your penchant to turn your patients into skeletons. Well, I may be the captain, but you can bet you'll find me wandering a lot around sickbay to correct all the mistakes you're probably going to make. Don't take it personally, it's just my way. Oh and make sure you keep the Vicodin well stocked before we leave port. I'd hate to be sneaking off in the middle of battle with the Klingons just because I ran out of meds."

 

[Rat Boy]

Radar man: "Unidentified contact."

Captain: "It's probably the Russkies. Shoot it down."

Spock: "For some reason, Mr. William, your girlfriend looks familiar...from behind."