TOS Caption Contest #66 - One Note Jokes

[Outpost4]

I thought when I posted the last two pictures they were mostly one joke affairs. The punchline was relatively obvious. It was just whomever wrote the best version. Because of that, I'm changing both pictures early. These, too, are basic jokes to me. They'll only be up for a few days. I'll change them again on Saturday to something hopefully more substantial.

Here are the winners:

Tim M said:

KIRK: But Janet, Bones won't give me the damned Viagra!

scottyuletide said:

Spock: "Testicles now descended, Captain."

Congratulations Tim M and scottydog. Two clever dudes.

And here are the new pictures. Have at them:

TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

A Beaker Full Of Death (2x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
ancient
Bad Atom
Battrekker
cakes516
CaptainJon
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (10x)
cultcross
DeafPoet
DrBob (5x)
DS9Sega
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gertch (9x)
goldbug
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
Kahloke
KJM
Mallory
MGagen
Mojochi
M'Sharak (4x)
NathanielM (2x)
Nerys Myk (10x)
Noname Given
Outpost4 (12x)
Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (14x)
Redfern
SciFi75
scottydog (9x)

Plus one this time for a total of 10!
Shatmandu (4x)
Sir Rhosis
SpiderMonkeeDolenz
T'Bonz (5x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
The Castellan
The Laughing Vulcan (6x)
The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (4x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness
Tim M (2x)

Plus one this time for a total of 3!
Tristan
Turbo
vassa
Woulfe (2x)

 

[Outpost4]

Spock hated his senior class picture.

Kirk wrestled with his conscience over his attraction to Spock.

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "I was in college; I required the monetary compensation."

Spock: *sigh* "Will one of you just kill the other one already? I do have plans today, you know."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Spock knew how this one would end, shoot the one with the goatee beard, or wait and see who would say "Shoot us both" and shoot the other.

 

[Rat Boy]

Priest: "A reading from the Gospel of Spock: 'Fascinating.'"

Spock (thinking): This might be more entertaining if they were wrestling in mud.

 

[Noname Given]

The evidence Leonard Nimoy presented in his book, I Am Not Spock seemed to prove otherwise.

___________________________________________________________

The audition process for the role of 'Captain James T. Kirk' in the new J.J. Abrams' film Star Trek XI takes an interesting turn.

 

[Rat Boy]

A couple excerpts from my new non-nonfictional book, "Not Quite Inside Star Trek."

Leonard Nimoy wasn't too fond of Gene's initial idea of Spock wearing a dress all the time.

Shatner completely resented the fact that they found a stunt double who looked exactly like him for "Whom Gods Destroy." It shouldn't have been a surprise to anyone that it eventually deteriorated into a full-on brawl during dress rehearsals. Pictured in the back is Leonard Nimoy, who was quite calm about the whole ordeal thanks to getting a little hit from Roddenberry's stash.

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Matt Groening's original sketches for Homer were shot down by the executives at FOX.

Only years later would it be revealed that the film, The Undiscovered Country, was made for the simple purpose of recreating this scene in the snow.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "Wings? What happened to the wings?"
Spock: "We do not speak of it with outsiders."

Spock: "I have waited an eternity to say this Jim, but go fuck your... You could have waited for me to finish speaking you narcissistic bastard!"

 

[scottydog]

What happens when Kirk steps on his waltz partner's foot.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk1: "I'm Kirk damn you!"

Kirk2: "No dammit! I'm Kirk. Why don't you just die."

Spock: "It matters not. Jim is back on the ship. I just want to see which one will win, then I'll shoot him."

 

[Outpost4]

Wings? Are the vectoring?

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: For some reason I am bored, yet strangely aroused.

 

[cooleddie74]

"...and on the Sixth Day, Desilu created cheesy ear and pancake makeup, and all the Vulcan background extras rejoiced."

In the far-off futuristic year of 2268, GO FUCK YOURSELF took on a whole new meaning.

 

[Green Shirt]

Spock might get a more entertaining fight if he'd throw something more than dimes at the participants. (Not that they use money in the 23rd century).

OR


So that's why there isn't more of the sparkly pants material surviving to this day. They wasted it as carpeting.

 

[Nerys Myk]

FANBOY: This totally violates canon!!!! The ears are all wrong and so is the haircut!!! Why cant they get this stuff RIGHT!!!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

FANBOY: THERE, I fixed it!!

 

[Sir Rhosis]

Hey, Fanboy, put a Carl Spock 'fro on him.



Sir Rhosis

 

[Outpost4]

Nerys Myk, is that a picture of John Lennon in your av?

Shatner: Next time I'll do my own fight stunt work, understand?

 

[Haggis and tatties]

"Now everybody in Hazard county loved a wedding, but nobody liked stay afterward to help uncle Spock put the chairs away and sweep up the confetti, especially them two Kirk boys".

And Saint Spock raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, ‘O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.’