TOS Caption Contest #297: Intensity

Discussion in 'Star Trek - The Original & Animated Series' started by LeadHead, Jul 6, 2015.

  1. Finn

    Finn Bad Batch of TrekBBS Premium Member

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    Scotty: You are really going to wear that down there?

    Spock: That's correct. My mother said she got them at a great deal and is the customary apparel down there.
     
  2. Avro Arrow

    Avro Arrow Giving USA All My Many Oil Moderator

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    Canada
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    Kirk: OK, it's over, Mr. Leslie. Resume your duties.
    Leslie: ...
    Kirk: I said it's finished. Please return to your post.
    Leslie: ...
    Kirk: Lieutenant, take your station!
    Leslie: ...
    Kirk: MR. LESLIE, IT'S OVER! DONE! NOW GET BACK TO YOUR STATION! THAT'S A DIRECT ORDER!
    Leslie: ...
    Kirk: (sigh) OK, OK... *SIMON SAYS* the game is over and you can go back to your post.
    Leslie: Thank you, sir.
     
  3. Old Trek Guy

    Old Trek Guy Commodore Commodore

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    KIRK: So you people have discovered the internet. Let me tell you about something called The Trek BBS. :D
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    Chechov: BURP! Those Tribble McNuggets are kicking back at me! :rommie:
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    I'm just using him to clean the wall with. :evil:
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    SPOCK: We're dressed to impress chicks. :vulcan:
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    I can't believe they've heard all my pick up lines! :eek:
     
  4. Ithekro

    Ithekro Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Quick stop him! He's starting to sing!

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    The director keeps calling for faster and more intense.

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    Kirk: Never fear, Leslie is here.

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    Scott: I canna change the laws of physics. The fans will be all over that if I did.

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    1960s era Bynar. Before they changed the makeup for TNG. This is pair 11 and 10. Kirk needs to restart their planetary computer system with the shuttlebay full of punchcards.
     
  5. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Sulu: "Pavel, why are you still doing that? The M-5 shut down hours ago."

    Chekov: "Because I bit my finger and I'm still bleeding."
     
  6. The Squire of Gothos

    The Squire of Gothos Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Anan 7; "Captain Kirk, I've heard you're a pretty flatulent guy, any comment on that?"
    [Farting sound effect]
    Kirk; "Attention subspace listeners..."
    [Farting sound effect]
    Kirk; "Most of the sounds you are now hearing are not being made by me!"
     
  7. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    TFTW Leadhead!

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    Kirk: Scotty!
    Scotty: General order 24 sir?
    Kirk: No, don't let anyone look under my bed! And yeah, that thing you said!


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    Sulu: Pavel, the Captain's merely picking up our dry cleaning. I don't think he will get his shirt ripped off...oh, there it goes.


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    Kirk: Thanks for helping me calibrate my sideboob peripheral vision, crewman. Now remember, when Spock's mom gets here....


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    Spock: Have you fixed the transporter, Mister Scott?
    Scotty: Oh aye.
    Engineer: Boop boop beep beep wee-oh wee-oh.
    Spock: Something sounds amiss, Mister Scott.
    Scotty: Oh she's purring like a kitten, Mister Spock.
    Engineer: Purrrrrrrrrrrr. Purrrrrrrrrrr.
    Spock: Then why haven't we been able to beam down yet?
    Engineer: BEEEEEEP BOOOOOP BADEEEEEEEP
    Scotty: Well sir, the transtator's compensator has...
    Engineer: EE-OH EE-OH EE-OH EE-OH
    Scotty: - you know with the duotronic converter assembly -
    Engineer: WHOOP WHOOP WHOOOOOOOOSH -
    Scotty: Oh cram a sock in it will ya, I'm trying to techbabble here!
    Spock: Who are you talking to Mister Scott?


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    Kirk: Now remember, when I snap my fingers and you wake up, every time you hear someone say "Logical" - you say "Douchebag" in unison.
     
  8. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Worf In the 23rd Century Premium Member

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    DIRECTOR: Cut! Come on Walter, Kirk is missing and presumed dead. Chekov is upset, yet I'm not seeing it in your performance! Be upset! Be sad! Think of a way to feel it!

    TAKEI: Pretend it's not Bill.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2015
  9. hux

    hux Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    TFTW

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    Kirk: This is DJ Kirk playing all your favourites and up next we've got Mmmbop by the Hansens.
    Guard: Noooo!!

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    Kirk (OS): There's an invisible alien on board that makes crew members suck it's penis. Everyone be extremely vigilant.
    Sulu: Um, Chekov......what are your doing?

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    Kirk: Oh shit, I left the oven on.

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    Spock: We're going on a dangerous away mission. A red shirt was supposed to be joining us.
    Scotty: Ah, that explains it then.

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    Kirk: When you wake up, you'll believe that you're cats and that I'm a bowl of milk.
     
  10. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Kirk (whispering): "Look, I'm really not getting anywhere with this guy. Do you have an Anan 6 I could talk to?"
     
  11. Noname Given

    Noname Given Admiral Admiral

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    William Shatner: "Hey what do you know...Bill Cosby was right..."
    :devil:;)
     
  12. Ithekro

    Ithekro Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Lt. Floorman: Sir, I found the problem.

    Scotty: What is it lad?

    Lt. Floorman: A Tribble ate the hamster and now there are eleven tribbles clogging up the wheel.

    Scotty: Well that takes out the Heisenberg compensator.

    Spock: Have you tried rerouting power from the squirrel cage on B deck?
     
  13. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Scotty: "Mr. Spock! I canna believe that came out of your mouth! That doesn't sound like you at all!"
    Spock: "Then I'll say it again! 'We saw Lieutenant Wickham run in here! Now, where is he? He's got an ass-kicking coming from the three of us!'"
     
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2015
  14. Avro Arrow

    Avro Arrow Giving USA All My Many Oil Moderator

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    Spock: Time is of the essence, gentlemen. If we can't get the captain off the Defiant within the next few minutes, he may be trapped there forever.
    Technician: Almost done, sir, just a few more minutes.
    Scott: Sorry, Mister Spock. I keep tellin' Lieutenant Kyle to nae stick his used gum down there!
     
  15. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Engineer: Yep, it's plugged in....
     
  16. Avro Arrow

    Avro Arrow Giving USA All My Many Oil Moderator

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    Technician: Wait a minute, this is mostly just an empty plywood shell with some lights wired in! How does this even work?!
     
  17. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Worf In the 23rd Century Premium Member

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    SCOTT: Step aside, Spock. I'm the engineer here. I don't care what sort of fancy doctorate in physics you might have!

    SPOCK: Actually my degree is in horticulture...

    SCOTT: Horticulture!!!!

    SPOCK: And it's a Bachelor's Degree.

    SCOTT: Get the hell out of my transporter room!!!!
     
  18. Maurice

    Maurice Fact Trekker Premium Member

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    One ferry ride from Starfleet HQ
    :barf:
     
  19. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Chekov: "Could ve hurry this up? I'm cooking like a burrito in this thing."
     
  20. Gil T.Azell

    Gil T.Azell Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Gil T.Azell
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    Kirk: "Dammit Cosby's been here"