TOS Caption Contest #297: Intensity

Discussion in 'Star Trek - The Original & Animated Series' started by LeadHead, Jul 6, 2015.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    The Normandy SR-2
    Hello everyone! New Contest time!


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    First up to the plate, we have the "Traditional Ceremonies" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "False Advertising" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "The whole story" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Constructive Criticism" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Hairdos explained" Award, going to:

    The Photoshop Award, goes to:

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    Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

    And now, a new contest!

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    The Normandy SR-2
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: Scotty! General Order 24 in 2 hours!

    Scotty: (over comm) Order acknowledged. Saurian Brandy will be delivered in 2 hours.

    Kirk: That's General Order 29, you fool!

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    Chekov: Go for the First down!

    Sulu: No, try the field goal!

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    Spock: Captain, perhaps if you took the time to learn the crewmembers names, they would not ignore you when you speak to them.

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    Scotty: Are ye crazy? Those suits won't protect you from the vacuum of space!

    Spock What will they do?

    Scotty They'll give yer iPhone a mighty charge!

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    Kirk: Dang! It's an episode where the women are interested in Spock!
     
  3. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    TFTW, LeadHead!

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    Chekov: "Meester Scott, if, as you say, the transporter repairs are completed, why is your man still working on it?"
    Scotty: "I'm tellin' ye, the transporter is in perfect working order! Do ye trust me or not?"
    McCoy: "Not!"
     
  4. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Garth of Algar Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Algar
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    KIRK: Your clothes are ridiculous!

    ANAN7: Guards! Seize him! No one insults our fashion sense!

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    SPOCK: Are you sure these suits will protect us?

    SCOTT: Would you rather have the shower curtain ones from Season One?

    SPOCK: These will do.
     
  5. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    T'Girl
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    Kirk: "Scotty, get me out of here. The guy behind me is dancing the Jitterbug."

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    Scotty: "Ready to beam you down sir."

    McCoy: "Shouldn't you be on this side of the control panel?
     
  6. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

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    When You See It, You'll Shit Bricks.


    OR


    Spock: "Mr. Scott, are you all right? You're heart rate appears to be elevated and perspiration is trickling down your forehead. And your hips appear to be in distress and are spasiming. Was this a bad time? Do you require the doctor?"
     
  7. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Kirk: "Scotty! General Order 24! They've stolen disruptors from the Klingons and those lamp things from us!"

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    Chekov: "Well, looks like Team Japan's wucked."

    Sulu: "And the captain's already hitting the celebratory champagne."

    Kirk: "U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"

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    Redshirt: "I'm just hiding the fact that it says 'Starship Class.'"

    Kirk: "Oh...well then, carry on."

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    Scotty: "Suh, do you have any idea how long it takes to untangle the wires on those bloody suits?"

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    Kirk: "And when I snap my fingers, you'll be enthralled by everything Chekov says. Don't say I never did anything nice for the kid."
     
  8. Avro Arrow

    Avro Arrow Vice Admiral Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2003
    Location:
    Canada
    Thanks for the win, LeadHead! :)

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    Kirk: Gentlemen... it would be easier... to move this table... if the four of you weren't holding it in place!

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    Kirk: Wait a minute, this isn't Mr. Leslie... it's a Leslie mannequin!?
    Spock: Sir, how exactly do you think Mr. Leslie appears in multiple locations on the ship at the same time?
     
  9. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Garth of Algar Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Algar
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    SHATNER: Can't we have my stand-in do this bit?

    DIRECTOR: He is your stand in.

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    KIRK: I thought Leslie was dead!

    LESLIE: Braaaaaaiiiinsss

    KIRK: damn
     
  10. Avro Arrow

    Avro Arrow Vice Admiral Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2003
    Location:
    Canada
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    Kirk: Leslie?
    Redshirt: No, sir.
    Kirk: Connors?
    Redshirt: No, sir.
    Kirk: Rand?
    Redshirt: No, sir.
    Kirk: Dammit, why did we have to take on so many new crewmembers during that layover at Kamino?
     
  11. CorporalCaptain

    CorporalCaptain Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    astral plane
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    Kirk: Helloooo! ....*snap*,*snap*.... I said, "Is anybody interested in a threesome?"
     
  12. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Garth of Algar Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Algar
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    KIRK: It's easy to tell them apart. This one has a moustache!
     
  13. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

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    "Hypnotized already, huh? Good. Well, you'll be coming back to my quarters for a lengthy debriefing, followed by the captain's log..."
     
  14. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Chekov: "That's..."

    Sulu: "...Conway Twitty. On True Detective."
     
  15. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    T'Girl
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    Guy on Floor: "It's full of stars"
     
  16. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Garth of Algar Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Algar
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    SPOCK: The Captain's gone. I'm in command. Any questions?

    SCOTT: When do we leave?
     
  17. Pauln6

    Pauln6 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2009
    Location:
    Bristol, United Kingdom
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    Why did this always happen when he tried telling a woman about that one time at Band Camp?
     
  18. Noname Given

    Noname Given Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 22, 2001
    Location:
    Noname Given
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    Captain Kirk: "Hey?! What's this?! I called next game on that Xbone console!"
     
  19. huskers57

    huskers57 Lieutenant Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2011
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    Eminian guard on the right - "Colonoscopy time!!"

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    Sulu - "Chekov's colonscopy time!"

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    Intercom - "Captain Kirk report to sickbay for annual colonoscopy!"

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    Technician under console - "Time for Mr. Spock's colonoscopy!"

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    Kirk - "OK...they're under. You can start the colonoscopy."
     
  20. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Kirk: "Who would design gorgeous female android twins...conjoined at the skull?"
    McCoy (OS): "Harry Mudd is a sick, sick man, Jim."