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TOS Caption Contest #224: Keeping An Eye On Things

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Scotty: "Attention, crew! This is Lieutenant Commander Scott! I am now the acting captain of this vessel! And our first order of business is, there'll be no more jokes circulated about 'Mister Scott and his 'wee bairn''!"
 
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HADLEY: Commander Scott?

The green button is blinking again. That means we have a malfunction in the navigational sensors...or the panel needs a new D-cell.


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CHEKOV: Quick.

Before he vakes up.

Someone...get a bowl of varm vater and dip his hand in it!

UHURA: I'm on it!
 
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HADLEY: Indicators are all go, sir.

SCOTTY: Aye, then.


Put her in drive.

And pull out of the parking lot...slowly.
 
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Scott: Lieutenant, send to Klingon captain: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, we shove our fully energized vessel right down your throat, and pump your belly full of hyperstatic discharges.

Uhura: Aye, sir, sending.... They tell us to shove our vessel into a different part of our own anatomy.
 
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Dr. McCoy enters the turbolift, but holds the door slightly open for just a moment...
McCoy: "Dag nabbit, I knew it! Leave him fer just a short while, and they're all plottin' ta play pranks on Jimmy boy."
 
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UHURA: I didn't have the heart to tell him he soiled himself BEFORE he fell asleep.
 
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HADLEY: Navigational sensors offline, sir...the entire grid just went black!

SCOTTY: Quick...go to Red Alert...and blame the Jews!
 
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UHURA: He looks so sad.

SULU: If you had to sit behind Chekov on Taco Day *YOU'D* look sad too.
 
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HADLEY: The loophole indicator just lit up, Mister Scott.

The plot's TOTALLY off-course!


SCOTTY: Prepare the ship for emergency Sweeps Week stuntwork, lad!!
 
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Scotty: I think I've got their number, laddy. B-5!

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McCoy: Is that Admiral --
Kirk, dazed: Yes.
McCoy: Those desks make surprisingly good dancing platforms.
 
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HADLEY (thinking):dontmentionthehairdontmentionthehair
dontmentionthehairdontmentionthehair.


SCOTT: Increase to Warp Factor 4.

HADLEY: Lame hair sir...I mean, aye aye sir!

damn.
 
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