TOS Caption Contest #218: Drunken Lullabies

[Rat Boy]

Readings indicate another caption contest approaching. Let's charge off into danger with...

Distracted much?

Spock: "Captain, I assure you, Vulcans do not suffer from attention deficit."
Kirk: "Good, then scan that burning building for..."
Spock: "Ooo, look. Cinnabon!"

Details, details...

Scotty: Sorry we're late Captain. We would have been here sooner, but we forgot that we could just beam directly to your coordinates instead of half a mile away.

Sometimes you're better off not knowing...

Yarnek: "Behold, Captain Kirk: A hint of what awaits your future Enterprise!"
Genghis Khan: "Look! I am big and mean...like Worf!"
Colonel Green: "And I have Commander Riker's 'stinknuts' pose!"
Zora: "I have Troi's big hair and revealing costumes!"
Kahless: "And I'm wearing a silly, striped sweater-vest like Wesley!"

Just so long as the judge gets the Photoshop joke, that's all that matters...

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN:

SHEILDS AND YARNEK!!!!!!*



*Someone has to get reference

Congratulations to the winners. This week, Spock gets more than he bargained for, Kelvans can't hold their liquor, and maybe someone should have put away the cutlery. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Captain, there is something wrong with the ship! Everything's sideways!"

Kirk: "Man, Bones wasn't kidding about Vulcan inner ear infections being doozies."

Tamar: "That's a lot of pencils."

Kirk: "Okay boys, seems like you have a handle on things. I'll be on the bridge."

 

[jep]

The Klingon goons Sulu hired for protection took that whole "Don't Cross The Lavender Line" thing very, very seriously.



.

 

[jep]

Spock: "Oh... uh... my apologies Captain, I didn't know you were... "busy".

Kirk (Zipping up) "Jesus Christ, don't Vulcans know how to knock?!"



.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: You're still here. I thought...

KIRK: Hush, You know I could never leave...

KIRK: And to think I laughed at Sulu when he said he took Fencing.

 

[jep]

Klingon: "I'm going to mount your toupee on my wall, Kirk!"



.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

]

Spock: Captain, I believe I've sharted into my trousers.

Scotty: You wanna see something green, lad.
Tamar: A drink?
Scotty: No, my penis.

Shatner: Boy, aren't we taking this "Horatio Hornblower" thing a bit too far?

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

Spock: Romulan Ale should be illegal.

Scotty: And now your face is green too.

Kirk: When I said lets have some "March Madness" I didn't mean duels with Klingons!

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: Spock are you drunk?

Spock: No , Sir. I'm practicing my "Riker Lean".

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPARROW: You're doing it wrong. I would be glad to offer pointers...for a small fee.

 

[jep]

Spock: "Well hello there, sweet cheeks."

Kirk: "Uh, Spock... I don't think that's proper attire for a Starfleet officer."



.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, Rat Boy!

Spock: Why the hell are they repairing your air-conditioning system before mine? I put in my maintenance request before yours!"
Kirk: "Well...I'm the captain."
Spock: "Big fucking deal! I'm the one who needs to keep the temperature at 98 fucking degrees in my quarters!"

Kelvin: "That one looks like butterfly! And that one looks like a bunny rabbit! And that one..."
Scotty: "Laddie, if yer really seein' clouds up there, I think ye've had enough!"

Cap'n Jack: "Unbelievable! Wasn't anybody here smart enough to bring a phaser to a sword fight?"

 

[ToMaHaKeR]

Redshirt: ''Oh captain, he stabbed me! I'm dying...''
Kirk: ''It's only a plastic toy, so stop pretending!''

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "Would all of you hurry up and knock each other out? Dr. Noel hates it when I run late."

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "Starfleet regulations forbid me from joining in. My uniform shirt is the wrong color."

 

[Isis]

Scotty: And now your face is green too.

Tamar: "...which looks absolutely hideous with these coveralls."

 

[Isis]

If Tamar had only known that Scotty had a 'thing' for Adam's apples...

 

[Isis]

Spock: "I never realized that a jockstrap was so binding."

 

[Isis]

[For those who are scratching their heads after reading the previous caption, here's a slightly expanded version...]

Spock: "I never realized that a jockstrap was so binding."

Kirk: "Just be glad you're not William Bell. Apparently, a bra is even worse."

 

[Rat Boy]

[For those who are scratching their heads after reading the previous caption, here's a slightly expanded version...]

Spock: "I never realized that a jockstrap was so binding."

Kirk: "Just be glad you're not William Bell. Apparently, a bra is even worse."

Spock: "And just how do you know that, Jim?"

Kirk: "Uh...never mind."