TOS Caption Contest #217: The Great Outdoors

[The Squire of Gothos]

Redshirts pictured seconds before a rockfall pushed them face first into poisonous plant life and their phasers simultaneously overloaded and exploded.

 

[Nerys Myk]

YARNEK: Just my luck to stumble across a "Plays In the Park" performance of Hair. God, I hate this town.

 

[jep]

Scotty: "Once again, I'd like to thank you for selecting Scott's Running Tours, Inc., for your excursion to Excalbia. Coming up on your left is a native Excalbian. Please do NOT make eye contact with it."

Red Shirt 1: "Uh, where are it's eyes?"

Scotty: "Are ye blind lad? There as plain as day!!!

Red Shirt 1: "Where? I don't see them."

Scotty: "Between its legs. They be hard to mis-- Ah damn it lad, didn't I tell you to avoid making eye contact with it?"


.

 

[Timewalker]

Ninety-nine redshirts runnin' around,
Ninety-nine redshirts around,
Take a shot and phaser one down,
Ninety-eight redshirts runnin' around.

Ninety-eight redshirts runnin' around...

Genghis Khan: If your name is Colonel Green, why are you wearing red?

Colonel Green: Because I'm notoriously evil. You can't be notoriously evil and look good in green.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Yarnek: "Aha! Now I understand the underlying motives. While 'good' fights for the lives of its friends and family, 'evil' fights for acceptance of its appalling fashion sense".

Walking alone through a rough neighbourhood is dangerous anywhere, but on Excalbia they take it up to 11, as this Excalbian discovers...

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Scotty and the Seven Redshirts

Heigh-Ho! Heigh-Ho! It's off the ship we go,
It ain't no trick to get stiff quick;
There's a million deaths, just take your pick!
Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho!

 

[Isis]

Scotty: "I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque."

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Scott: There's nothing behind that rock, sir, but we lost Lieutenant Mallory!

 

[Timewalker]

Scotty: Hurry, lads, or we'll miss the ice cream truck!

 

[jep]

Drugged-up MCoy: "MURDERS!!! ASSASINS!!!"

Kirk: "Everybody pretend not to notice him. Maybe he'll go away."

Spock: "Yes, and maybe he'll single-handledly destroy the Federation... again."


.

 

[Bob Karo]

Scotty gets proactive in reducing the casualty rate amoung his engineers.

SCOTTY: Remember Rule #1, lads. Cardio!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Scotty: Remember yah training, laddies ... on landing parties, one out of five redshirts don't come back.

Scotty: Sorry, lads, I'll live through this 'cause I'm a recurring character.

 

[phenyx2]

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Green: Mr. Hankey?!?

 

[LeadHead]

Scotty: Sorry we're late Captain. We would have been here sooner, but we forgot that we could just beam directly to your coordinates instead of half a mile away.

 

[Maurice]

KAHLESS: I heard this episode was a stinking pile, and now I know why!

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Yarnek: "And you too can now own the full range of Team Evil collectables! As seen on TV, in the much-loved "Good Vs Evil" alien special. It's the experiment that captivated a planet, and now with these fully articulated action figures you too can fight for power as part of Team Evil! Limited offer, buy a Green and get a Genghis free!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

GHENGIS KHAN: Why am I so tall?

GREEN: Why am I dressed like Mork from Ork?

ZORA: Am I supposed to be Ruth Buzzi?

KAHLESS: Why don't I have ridges?

YARNEK: Kirk!!!!???

KIRK: Sorry, I slept through World History, so the details are a bit fuzzy.

 

[LeadHead]

Yarnak: And this is Colonel Red.

Green: Colonel Green.

Yarnak: Wear Green and then you can be Colonel Green.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: Would you guys stop following me!!! I'm trying to find a place to take a crap!!!!