TOS Caption Contest #195: Hands and Jobs
- Thread starter Rat Boy
- Start date
Kirk, swirling drink and thinking: Pompous and fond of both back-handed insults and lofty put-downs. Who's this guy remind me of?
Spock, over intercom: Captain Kirk to the bridge.
Kirk: Ah-hah.
Krako: Whaddya doin' back there?
Spock: I was not about to neck-pinch you. That I was not going to do.
Spock: "Captain, it appears that Marta survived after all and somehow acquired some special powers from Garth."
Kirk: "As I remember, her hand job was mighty painful... oh, man--Sulu, get us out of here!"
Kirk: "Something is missing... Hey, where's my umbrella?"
Krako: "Hey Spock-O, c'mon... can't ya give a guy just one of them Cuban cigars?"
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Uhura: "Incoming transmission, Captain. He wants to know if we have enough sweetcorn."
Kirk: "Maybe if I get really drunk, I'll be able to figure out that magic eye picture that you're wearing."
Spock: "I am crushing your head, I am crushing your head!"
Krako: "Wha...?"
Spocko: in the evening hours of the previous day, I fired my gas propelled metal projectile at a Tyrellian elephant in my nighttime sleeping attire. How this elephant came to be in my nighttime sleeping attire is still a matter of investigation to me.
SPOCK: Do you know what this is?
KRAKO: No.
SPOCK: The worlds smallest Vulcan Lyre playing just for you.
Morning cawfee spew!!!!!!
NBC ANNOUNCER: Star Trek! Brought to you by, Green Giant!
GIANT: HO! HO HO!
UHURA: You mind your manners!
No amount of alien booze was going to make Sarek's stories about diplomacy go down any easier.
NIMOY: Have you seen Gene Roddenberry's monogamy? It's about this big.
Kirk: Oh, goodie. The hand job I ordered has finally arrived.
Sarek: I married your mother, Spock, because she had the sweetest forbidden tail that I have ever tasted.
Kirk: Does anyone else think this red stuff tastes funny? I think it does... whelp, off to get another drink.
Spock: Missed it by that much.
Kirk (thinking) : "I know this stuff is poisonous to Humans, but after listening to Sarek for two hours- I'm gonna drink it."
Kirk: What is that?
Sulu: Giant green hand in space, sir.
Kirk: Yesss, (mimics backhand slap) I can see that, Mister Sulu, but...
where did it come from? Mister Chekov?
Chekov: I don' know, sir. It vas chust there - no sensor readings, no
road sign warning about it, nothing!
Kirk: "My God! We're trapped in an episode of Mystery Science Theater! Mr. Sulu-get us out of here now! Do you want them to make a mockery of us?"
Spocko: in the evening hours of the previous day, I fired my gas propelled metal projectile at a Tyrellian elephant in my nighttime sleeping attire. How this elephant came to be in my nighttime sleeping attire is still a matter of investigation to me.
Winner! 
1967: William Shatner perfects his "I just drank an exotic liquid" face.
1982: William Shatner breaks out his now-patented "I just drank an exotic liquid" face.
1986: William Shatner again goes to his old reliable "I just drank an exotic liquid" face and begins to wonder if he should perhaps start to diversify his stock expressions.
1991: Shatner decides "Nah, screw it. This works for me."
