TOS Caption Contest #179: For Those About To Spock...

[Tribble]

Kirk: You know what they say about couples looking alike over the years? I never thought it was meant that literally.

Leila: I don't think these are lice, Spock, I think they are fleas. Look how far this one jumped!

 

[ItsGreen]

It is not logical Mr. Spock, but I suddenly feel a madness coming on,
how far to Vulcan, and do you have T'Pring's com frequency?

 

[ItsGreen]

Do you think Mother Horta will like me now?
I've dreamed about having sex with a silicon based life form ever since I met her.

 

[Tribble]

Amanda: I'm sorry Spock, but honestly, these assless chaps look much better on Picard than on you.

 

[jep]

Amanda: "Why did Sulu sashay by me this morning and say "Spock feels fine" and then wink at me?"




.

 

[jep]

Spock: "Say baby, how would you like to be 'Vulcanized'?"



.

 

[alte]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #179: For Those w/Mother Issues

Yeah, I know, eew.

 

[Nerys Myk]

AMANDA: I'm sorry Spock. I thought you would have told Dr. McCoy about your bedwetting.

 

[alte]

 

[T'Boggan]

Jill Ireland " Put it away Nimoy...."

Amanda: "Where's your Frankenfurter outfit Spock...We'll miss the start ."

Spock: "Mother please...Im too old for the Rocky Horror Show!"

Kirk: "Spock....I....Ammm....your....Father......
Spock: "Ha feckin ha!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

With thanks to Blackadder...

Leila: "Say Spock, have you ever felt the exhilaration, the thrill of the wind blowing through your hair?"
Spock: "No, I can't say that I have."
Leila breaks wind long, loud and hard: "There you go."

Amanda: "What do you mean 'There's something wrong with my hair'?"
Spock: "Father gave you a couple of 'Something About Mary' moments again, didn't he?"

Kirk: "Ok, I beam over undercover to the Romulan ship, I have to spend a couple of hours under the surgeon's knife. You wind up in 20th Century Earth, you get away with wearing a hat. How does that work?"
Spock: "Vulcan's have better unions."
McCoy os: "Yeah, but only once every seven years! Hah!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: I've had the ears and the eyebrow for about two hours and still no action with the ladies.

SPOCK: Its how you use them, Captain.

 

[alte]

Per Above...

Holy Crimea, Batman...too funny

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Look, I know it's 'Vulcan Awareness Day,' but a hat would have sufficed."

 

[cooleddie74]

LEILA: That cloud looks like your flaccid genitals when you try to get aroused over me...

SPOCK(arches eyebrow)

AMANDA: Don't make me go all HEATHERS on you, my son.

Because if you remember me when I was much younger, you know I'll do it.

KIRK: How the hell do you do it every day?

I have YET to find the Q-tip that will fit in these damn things.

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK: Curious. That skywriting shuttle misspelled "A."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: And your first husband?

AMANDA: I had to leave him, Spock. He was a monster!

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: All this makeup...and all I got for my troubles were two candy apples and a rock.

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK: Fascinating.

That native bird just defecated on Mister DeSalle's head.

 

[Captain Crow]

Spock: I wish I could unsee what I just saw.

Amanda: Well it's your own fault! How many time do I have to tell you to to knock before entering a room.

[Amanda flick switch and cock rock stops vibrating]



Spock: Does father know you worship cock rock.

Amanda: Who the hell do you think bought it for me?

Amanda: Spock how do I get a refund for this cereal of your's? It's a little flaccid.