TOS Caption Contest #165: The Classics

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "He's hopeless, Bones! Six hours of boxing lessons and this is the best I can get out of him!"

 

[jep]

McCoy: "Weren't expecting this were ya, Jimmy boy?"


.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Spock: "Yeoman Rand, I can't help but notice that your left breast seems to be missing..."


.

Rand: "It's under my hair."

 

[Mikkid82]

Let me write these lyrics down before I forget them,

In the Middle of the Earth, in the land of Shire
lives a brave little Hobbit whom we all admire.
With his long wooden pipe, and fuzzy wooly toes,
he lives in a Hobbit Hole and everybody knows him:
Bilbo - Bilbo Baggins - He's only 3 feet tall...
Bilbo - Bilbo Baggins - The bravest little hobbit of them all...
Now, Hobbits are peace-lovin' folks, you know,
they're never in a hurry and they take things slow.
They don't like to wander away from home,
they just like to eat and be left alone -
but one day Bilbo was asked to go
on a big adventure to the caves below
to help some dwarves get back their gold
that was stolen by a dragon in the days of o-old.
Bilbo - Bilbo Baggins - He's only 3 feet tall...
Bilbo - Bilbo Baggins - The bravest little hobbit of them all...
Well, he fought with the goblins!
He battled a troll!
He riddled with Gollum!
A magic Ring he stole!
He was chased by Wolves,
lost in the forest,
escaped in a barrel from the Elf King's ha-alls!
Bilbo - Bilbo Baggins - He's only 3 feet tall...
Bilbo - Bilbo Baggins - The bravest little hobbit of them all
Now he's back in his home in the land of Shire -
that brave little Hobbit whom we all admire -
just sittin' on a treasure of silver and gold,
a-puffin' on his pipe in his Hobbit Ho-ole -
Bilbo - Bilbo Baggins - He's only 3 feet tall...
Bilbo - Bilbo Baggins - The bravest little hobbit of them all!
Bilbo - Bilbo Baggins - The bravest little hobbit of them all!

 

[jep]

Rand: "Oh thank you Mr. Howard, this autograph is going too make my mother sooo happy!"

Spock: "Mr. Howard?"

Rand: "Say, did it actually hurt when Shemp and Curly hit you with things, or was it all "fake"?"


.

 

[Mikkid82]

Bones: Sorry Jim its no bigger than normal.

Kirk: But I want it THIS big!!!!!

Bones: Damn it Jim I'm a doctor not a miracle worker!

 

[Rat Boy]

Well, I'll be darned, it was none other than Shatmandu who came up with the name "Carl Spock." After some digging, I found the following:

Rand: "What's your first name, Mr. Spock?"
Spock: "It is unpronounceable to humans."
Rand: "I looked it up. It's 'Carl.' Your name is 'Carl Spock.'"
<Spock puts down stylus and grabs her face.>
Spock: "Forget."
Rand, matter-of-factly: "It is unpronounceable to humans."

M.F., who feels the need to pour out a 40 for his homie Joe.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: Take the requisition to the quartermaster and get fricking wig! There's only room for one obvious alien on this ship!

 

[Gertch]

Well, I'll be darned, it was none other than Shatmandu who came up with the name "Carl Spock." After some digging, I found the following:

Rand: "What's your first name, Mr. Spock?"
Spock: "It is unpronounceable to humans."
Rand: "I looked it up. It's 'Carl.' Your name is 'Carl Spock.'"
<Spock puts down stylus and grabs her face.>
Spock: "Forget."
Rand, matter-of-factly: "It is unpronounceable to humans."

M.F., who feels the need to pour out a 40 for his homie Joe.

Kirk: "Bones...lead, follow or get out of the way."

 

[Rat Boy]

Zarabeth: "Doublemint?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Rat Boy: "TOS or movie era? TOS or movie era?"

McCoy: "Make up your damned mind!"

 

[Captain Crow]

McCoy: I wish you'd leave me the fuck alone Jim.

Kirk: Well wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first.

 

[Mistral]

Picard: "In the future we've learned to hold our hands like this!"

 

[Mistral]

Kirk: "This? It's just my ego."

 

[johcomp]

McCoy: Dammit, Jim, surely you must know what happened to Shatmandu!!!

Kirk: Fucked if I know!!!

Jim, missing Joe's unique brand of humour

 

[jep]

Al: "Oh this is just GREAT. Way to screw it up again Ziggy!!!"

McCoy: "What the... ???"

Al: "Hey buddy, you seen Captain Archer around here anywhere?"


.

 

[Rat Boy]

Jabba the Hutt (in Huttese): <<"I feel like I'm being ignored.">>

McCoy: "Trust me, it takes a lot of effort to ignore the likes of you."

 

[Nerys Myk]

[

MCCOY: Dammit Jim! I said lay off the fatty foods!!!

 

[borg_curious]

KIRK: I never inhaled...honest!

MCCOY: W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R James!!

 

[borg_curious]

SPOCK: Bite my fingernails

ZARABETH: Why?

SPOCK: Because it is...LOGICAL! Any other stupid questions?