TOS Caption Contest #165: The Classics

[Rat Boy]

You may want to blow on it first, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's lecture and pontificate to...

A poop caption? Obviously our winner isn't above that sort of thing...

KYLE: "Everything on a space ship is recycled. Well except for the corn."

For tag-teaming our second picture, our winners are...

Kirk: "Nice ass!"

Hobo: "You don't get out much, do you?"

For further expanding upon what they keep down in the secondary hull, our Photoshop winner is...

KYLE: Or if you want we can head over to Hot Dog On A Stick. Rand will supersize your drink for free.

SGT. Wow, the future is amazing!

KYLE: Wait till you see the bowling alley.

Nice job, everbody. This week, in my latest attempt to summon forth Shatmandu and/or Outpost4, I'm dipping into the archive and pulling out three classic images of caption contest yore. First up is something from the bygone days of March 2007 and contrary to popular belief is actually how the Carl Spock meme got started. The second one comes from December of '08 and I mainly liked it because of a couple of Photoshops I did (I'll repost them later on). Finally, we have one from July of 2007 that always reminds me of Outpost4's one-word winning line from Spock, "Forget." Have at it:

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Guh, I hate these damn things; makes my handwriting look like a two year old's."

McCoy: "Dammit, Jim, don't you know how many of your paternity tests came back positive."

Kirk: "Five?"

McCoy: "It's a multiple of five. A big one!"

Spock: "It's called 'plomeek.'"

*Zarabeth gags and pukes*

 

[jep]

Rand: "I've got something you can use your stylus on, big boy."


.

 

[jep]

Spock: "Here, this will ease the pain..."

Zarabeth: "What pain? I'm not it pain."

Spock: "You're about to be." (Sound of velcro coming undone.)


.

 

[jep]

Kirk: "What do you mean watch what I eat? I'm gonna be in this great shape until the day I die."


.

 

[jep]

Kirk: "Pistols at ten paces? What the hell are you talking about?"

McCoy: "You have insulted my honor, suh, and ah demand satisfaction!"


.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Spock: "You're out of paper.'"

*Zarabeth gags and pukes*

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Spock: "I'm signing your petition because you're a friend and you asked me to. But no matter how many signatures you get, I don't think you're ever going to convince Starfleet to agree to put the male officers in skants."

Kirk: "What? It's not an odd pose! I stand like this all the time! You just don't recognize it now because I usually have a babe on each arm! Bada-bing!!"

Spock: "See? I wouldn't lie to you! You're fresh as a daisy!"


Okay, I admit, I'm not proud of that last one.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: Our drink profits seem to be down.

 

[Maurice]

And thus did Rand learn Spock's credit card digits.

KIRK: What've I got, Bones?
BONES: Jazz hands, dammit. And there's no cure!

SPOCK: Here. Pull my finger.

 

[Gertch]

Thanks for the win! And your right, I'm not.

Spock: "Stop trying to get a peak yeoman, I'm trying to do your perfect breasts now."

Kirk: "Drink your fill Bones but you're not having any."

Spock: "Like my cologne? It's called Team Spirit and will put you in Nirvana."

I don't know why. All my other ones were already taken.

 

[Admiral Shran]

Spock: Didn't we have fully electronic padds over a century ago?

Kirk: What?

Spock: "Here, this will ease the pain..."

Zarabeth: "What pain? I'm not it pain."

Spock: "You're about to be." (Sound of velcro coming undone.)

*Zarabeth faints*

Spock: Well, that helps with the pain as well.

 

[jep]

Spock: "Here, this will ease the pain..."

Zarabeth: "What pain? I'm not it pain."

Spock: "You're about to be." (Sound of velcro coming undone.)

*Zarabeth faints*

Spock: "What the ...? Aw man, not again!!! Damn this bifurcated penis!!!"


.

 

[jep]

Spock: "Damnit Zarabeth, stop bogartin' the doob."


.

 

[jep]

Spock: "She's very ill, doctor. Will you try to help her?"

McCoy: "Damnit Spock, I'm a doctor, not a... Oh... right."


.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: Doctor, didn't you notice the tie on the door?

MCCOY (off camera): It's a damn Ice Age outside!!! Bros before Hos, my ass!

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Spock: "See? I wouldn't lie to you! You're fresh as a daisy!"


Okay, I admit, I'm not proud of that last one.

someone had to say it.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: Got a little on your chin.

 

[Rat Boy]

As promised, the old Photoshops I did. Caption them smartly and you might end up with a prize:

Kirk: "HELLO!"

Picard: "HELLO!"

McCoy: "Get the fuck out!"

McCoy: "Gee, Jim, your weight gain was so gradual I hardly noticed until now."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock: As soon as I finish my signature, I am going to make a highly questionable comment in regards to your sexual attraction to the captain.
Rand: Again.

McCoy: You wish it were that big, Jim.

Zarabeth: So that's what I smell like.