TOS Caption Contest #161: Pilot Error

[Rat Boy]

Pike: "I don't ever remember this happening."

Vina: "The Talosians based it on a book found in Mr. Tyler's quarters."

Pike: "I'm making that son of a bitch a commander!"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Pike: "Bob? Bob Grissom? From the Academy? Gee, it's been a long time, Bob! You - uh - you've changed!"

 

[jep]

Kirk: "You'll have to forgive Mr. Spock... he's never been a fan of assless chaps."

Mitchell: "Really? But I look so darned good in them!"

Kirk: "Mmmmm....indeed you do. That settles it....no more casual Fridays... from now on every Friday will be Assless Chaps day!"


.

 

[Maurice]

MITCHELL: Go EVA? Sure, but why?
SPOCK: I wish to...test the HAL 9000's workbee control interface.

PIKE: What did the Talosians mean when they said, "pre-op transgender"?

 

[Nerys Myk]

MITCHELL: There is an old saying on Earth, Mr. Spock. "He who smelt it, dealt it."

 

[jep]

Kirk: "OK, who wants to go first?"

Spock: "Go first?"

Mitchell: "Allow me to explain the concept of the Glory Hole to you, Mr. Spock. You see..."


.

 

[26138]

Kirk: "OK, who wants to go first?"

Spock: "Go first?"

Mitchell: "Allow me to explain the concept of the Glory Hole to you, Mr. Spock. You see..."


.

Spock: ...Then I believe we would need two holes in the wall.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Mitchell: So how'd the chess mat--
Spock: Please, Mr. Mitchell, do not engage in awkward elevator conversation. Nothing good can come from it.
Mitchell: Captain was about to hand your ass to you, huh?

Mitchell: So the green-blooded halfer got a bit of bad human blood, huh?
Spock: Mr. Mitchell, on the Enterprise we usually reserve the racism for the end of the episode not at the beginning.

 

[Rat Boy]

Mitchell: "You bet it all on the Colts?"

 

[Maurice]

Mitchell: "You bet it all on the Colts?"

Spock: They played most illogically.

 

[scottydog]

Vena: "I see your future."

Pike: "Oh? What is it?"

Vena: "What does the Roadrunner say?"

Pike: "Beep, beep."

 

[Hambone]

VINA: ...and then Future Spock walks in, and waved a torch at the big red monster, just like this one...and it just runs away. I didn't buy it for a second.

PIKE: Bullshit.

VINA: That's just what Kirk said!

 

[John Picard]

Pike: "Shouldn't the carpet match the drapes?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Pike: My, aren't you a horse of a woman. Horse hung that is.

 

[jep]

Pike: "If the pussy is green, there's something wrong with it. So sayeth the 20th Century Sage, Eddie Murphy."



.

 

[Nerys Myk]

BEST STAR TREK CONVENTION EVER*

"Must be a mix up. I was supposed to share the room with a guy named Vinnie."

*Other than a slight delay when two contestants fail to show up for the Costume Contest,

 

[jep]

Vina: "Fuck me, I'm Irish."


.

 

[jep]

Pike: "You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"


.

 

[M'Sharak]

Off-topic for a moment, but some who've followed these threads for a while may be amused to see what turned up in a Twitter entry posted by Chris Doohan a little while ago. Unless I'm completely mistaken, that image (minus the caption it bears) had its origin in a long-ago (and probably long-pruned) caption contest thread here in this forum.

We now return you to your regularly-scheduled caption contest program.

 

[Rat Boy]

I'm damn sure it did, but at the moment am too lazy to dig through 4 years of caption contests to find it.