TOS Caption Contest #133 - Alternate Universe

[Alrik]

Stewart: "You call this a set? It's a white room with bright lights. What? Did Berman go through the production budget on blow again?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Picard: "That's the last time I ask a Mother Horta to shit on my chest."

 

[Civil Shadow]

Picard: You...you shot me!

Samus: And you're still alive to bitch about it. I'm losing my touch.

 

[Captain Crow]

Picard: The Caption Contest's reality is breaking down! Try to stabilize it Crap Dancing Geordi.

Crap Dancing Geordi: I'm afraid I can't Captain. I'm out of duct tape!

 

[Rat Boy]

Stewart: "Are you the asshole who was sitting at the front tonight? You know, what I really want to know is how you can sleep at night? I really hope you're pleased with yourself."

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: This can be dry cleaned, right?

 

[Nerys Myk]

The lost TOS Episode: Smell the Glove

"It's like, 'how much more black could this be?' and the answer is none. None more black."

 

[Rat Boy]

Unfortunately, had the series come back for a fourth season, budget cuts would have prevented the use of lights. Or cameras.

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: "Psssst! ..... what's my line?"
Script assistant: "Uh... sorry. I can't tell. It's too dark in here."
Director: "CUT!"

 

[highlander]

Picard: "Commander LaForge...I'm over here I'm wearing the ass-less chaps you got me for my birthday...What do you think."
Broken VISOR Geordi: "Sorry sir my VISOR is broken I can see shit."

 

[highlander]

Bridges: "How 'bout some more coffee Scotty."
Scotty: "No thanks."

 

[S'kai]

The trailer for the sequel to Nemesis. The producer wanted it "darker."

 

[S'kai]

The bridge from Star Trek XIII, after the darkness fad had trended to a brightness fad.

 

[Captain Crow]

To save money the producers decided to make an episode about and from the point of view of ensign Helen Keller.

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: No, Kivas Fajo, I won't remove my uniform.
Q: Oh behave!

Meanwhile, in the Mirror Universe:

Picard: Somebody order a pizza?
Beverly: Oh, Jean Luc! <cue wah guitar>

 

[Shaw]

The Caption Contest That Wouldn't Die!​

 

[Shatmandu]

Pike: "Smells bad in here."
Sombrero Shatner: "Where are we?"
McCoy: "Judging from the polution content, we have been transported into Uhura's vagina in the latter half of the 23rd century."

 

[Triskelion]

Mirror Scotty: "Bloody hell."
Mirror Uncontrollable Diarrhea McCoy: "Pardon me."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Might want to be careful around Sulu's scope. I hear it's a lethal weapon."

 

[Gary7]

As if things hadn't gotten bad enough, Robot Chicken decided to pay a visit.

Scotty: "I'm gettin' hungry! When do we eat?"