TOS Caption Contest #133 - Alternate Universe

[Outpost4]

Let's go from one three day contest to another. I'll change this out again on Sunday. The new one will feature pictures that never happened.

But first, our winners. Attaboys go to The Laughing Vulcan and Triskelion, with a photoshop award to Gary7. Who knew two guys and a box could be so entertaining?

Chekov: "Let me get this straight, in the other universe you keep a man-eating plant named Beauregarde, have a tendency to take your shirt off and stalk strangers through the ship with a sword, and you have intimate relationships with rodentia. There I have a comedy accent and keep saying everything was invented in Russia. While here, you fancy the pants off our communications officer and I think our tin-plated overacting limelight hugging Captain is a bit of a dick."

Sulu: "That's about right."

Chekov: "So which one is the evil universe again?"

Mr Scott, would it not be easier if we painted the eggs before we hid them?

Starfleet grave robbers

This next contest has pictures from Warped9's Never Seen TOS thread.

See you on the other side!



TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138 (2x)
A beaker full of death (4x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alrik
Alyssa (3x)
ancient
Atavachron (2x)
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
brian
Cakes488
CaptainJon
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (22x)

cultcross
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Diesel Micky Dolenz (11x)
Dohlman
DrBob (10x)
DS9Sega (7x)
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
EnsignHarper
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gary7

Plus one this time for a total of 2!
Gertch (24x)

goldbug (2x)
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (2x)
highlander (12x)
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
Johnnyracefan
John_Picard (4x)
jptrekker
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
Kirby
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
middyseafort (6x)
Mistral (2x)
Mojochi
M'Sharak (14x)
NCC-1701 (7x)
Nebusj
Nerys Myk (30x)

Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (16x)

Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (39x)

Redfern
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (19x)

Sector 7
Shatmandu (25x)

shivkala
Sir Rhosis (2x)
S'Kai
Super Grover
Tan Ru
T'Bonz (8x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (4x)
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (17x)

Plus one this time for a total of 18!
The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (10x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2x)
Tim M (3x)
Toban Kal
Triskelion (12x)

Plus one this time for a total of 13!
Tristan
Turbo (2x)
vassa
Ward Fowler (4x)
Woulfe (4x)
Zachery Smith

Mudd Club

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: Plot a course to Clarksville, Ensign.

McCoy: New contacts, Lieutenant?

Kirk: ...and Rand likes it doggie style. Got it.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Yay for me! Thanks for the note of victory!

"Rock and Roll was inwented in Russia."

Mitchell: "Security alert all decks. Some smart prankster has just renamed the ship's computer 'Hal'. I want him found and shot."

McCoy: "Overreacting a smidge, Gary?"

Pike: "Toupee or not toupee, that is the question."

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: Ensign, that is the worst wig I've ever seen.
Jones: You should know.

 

[Outpost4]

Mitchell: I tell you, she's a natural blond. I've seen her in the showers.

 

[Shatmandu]

I absolutely hate the goddamned Monkees, with an irrational, consuming fire passion.

If a piece of shit like Gilligan's Island makes you look like a piece of shit, then you're a huge piece of shit.

Ensign Mickey: "But the Laughtrackians are our friends, Captain."
<The laugh track howls.>
Kirk: "Fire! FIRE!"
<The Enterprise explodes.>

It took three seasons, but McCoy finally figured out where the echo in Mitchell's voice came from.

Kirk: "Just be careful climbing ladders. Bye now."

Kirk: "First thing I'm going to do is get rid of that giant TV set you have in your quarters. Jesus."

 

[John Picard]

McCoy: "Do you honestly believe the caption contest will run for three days?"

Mitchell: "No, but it will be fun watching as it slowly evolves into a series of lewd photoshops and CoolEddie's self-deprecating humor."

 

[Classic Fan]

Pike: "So, according this new history, i no longer end up a complete invalid with a beeper, my hair is light and whispy, these horrible turtle necks are gone, and i die saving "Your" Enterprise from from something called a Romulan?"
Kirk: "Yeah. Im more good looking, im 6 foot 1", i bone Uhura, Rand, Orion women, Spock and the computer, drink beer and steal your ship."

 

[Triskelion]

Thanks for the win Outpost4! Victory in TOS is sweeeet!

E minor. E minor! Full power to the E minor Mr Jones! Great Scot that's a C7! Emergency power!
Scotty to bridge! Captain we're bein' flooded with saccharine radiation all over the ship!

Mitchell: E, R, K, D, W, ampersand, squiggly mark, umlat, artist formerly known as Prince...
McCoy: Not even close, boy.

Should I warn him about Talos? Screw it.

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Kirk: Ensign Jones, there's only room for one guy who always gets the girl on this ship. Report to the transporter room for away team duty. Don't forget to change shirts.

McCoy: Mitchell, I don't care how long you've known the captain. No one escapes the nude jumping jacks.

Kirk: Are you familiar with the phrase, "one if by land, two if by sea?"

Pike: Yes, why?

Kirk: Just asking.

 

[John Picard]

Kirk: "Ensign Jones -- Set a course for Risa."

Ensign Davey Jones: "Aye Sir. Time for a booty call for Ensign Jones!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Shatner was getting a little tired of the sweeps stunt casting.

Mitchell: "What the? Where am I?"

McCoy: "Captain, you all right? What's the last thing you remember?"

Mitchell: "Big rock landing on my head. Wait a minute, I'm the captain? Where's Doctor Piper? What the hell happened to the uniforms? And who fucked up Scotty's hair?"

Kirk: "Yes, yes; I did better, I joined Starfleet. Stop nagging me!"

 

[Gary7]

(Thanks for the win, Output4. )
OK, I promise not to photoshop these...

Kirk: "Well... at least he's not Wesley Crusher."

 

[Shatmandu]

Mitchell: "I don't care what Kirk did, they're not going to make filthy jokes at my expense in some caption contest ..."
McCoy: "Uh-huh."

McCoy: "You can stop blaming the chair material for those noises any time now, 'Captain.'"

 

[Outpost4]

McCoy: We're supposed to look at each other in a staring contest, Lieutenant.

Kirk: Ensign, the only reason you're here is because you are shorter than me.

 

[Mistral]

"Shields are down to 12%, phasers are off-line and we have a hull breach across decks 11-14, sir."

Kirk: "So why are you smiling, Ensign Jones?"

Jones: "I have a date with Rand later. I hear she's a sure thing."

Kirk: "Only if you have the dough, Ensign."

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: You used to date Mrs. Shatmandu?
Jones: Why else do you think he loathes me?

 

[Rat Boy]

Mitchell: "I swear if I hear someone say I have a god complex one more time, I'll..."

 

[Gary7]

Ensign Jones: "Yea! Real cool, man. Finally rid of those damned Monkees and I'm off into space. Yippee!!"
Kirk: "Ensign, I said lay in a course to Starbase 2."
Ensign Jones: (Uh oh... I have NO idea what I'm doing...)

McCoy: "So what do you think, Scotty? Should we keep him?"
Scotty: "I'm not so sure, Doctor. What do you think of Lloyd Bridges?"

Hunter: "So, you think you're better than me? Huh, punk??"

 

[Mistral]

McCoy: "That's some of the best plastic surgery I've ever done. Wouldn't you agree, Grishnak?"