TOS Caption Contest #132 - esrevinU rorriM

[Santa Kang]

SPOCK: I have the tranquilizers Mr. Scott. Are you sure this is the way to the Women's Shower?

SCOTT: Of course Mr. Spock, I know this ship like the back of my hand.

Chekov looks up and screams

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "It may be an ancient Vulcan tradition, but this is a ricidulous way to urinate."
Spock, after injecting Scotty's penis: "I may have overstated that whole 'ancient Vulcan tradition' bit ..."

Scotty: "Last time we did somethin' like this, the bleedin' thing bit my finger off."
Spock: "Shhhh."

Spock: "If you can think of a better way to castrate the Captain, I'd like to hear it."

Scotty: "Look, I understand you and the Doctor have your disagreements, but I'm not comfortable with this."
Spock: "Expose his neck and shut your mouth."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Nimoy: Hold him down, Jimmy. It's the only way we'll ever get him to finish his script.
Doohan: This Ellison sure is a rabid dog.

 

[Shatmandu]

Doohan: "Aw, Jeez, he's calling out his kids' names ..."
Nimoy: "Oh, you hate him as much as I do ..."

 

[Santa Kang]

DOOHAN: Trust me, I played a cop once. People with think it was accident.

 

[highlander]

Spock: "It put's the lotion on it's skin or else it get's the hypo again."

 

[Shatmandu]

<Spock injects woman in box, then Scotty, then lifts and dumps Scotty's body into box.>
Spock: "No witnesses."

Scotty: "I really hate 'Wash Sulu' day."

Spock: "This the guy who called you an 'excitable repairman?'"
Scotty, struggling: "Aye."
Spock, after injecting man: "Nobody messes with my Scotty."

 

[battrekker]

DOOHAN: I'm holding him the best I can.
NIMOY: Good, the bastard will learn not to ever mess with my bike again. I'll tattoo the words 'bike thief' on mr. pokey!!!

 

[Santa Kang]

SCOTTY: Okay, there's your camera Mr Spock.

SPOCK: Thank you. A visual record will help analyse the effects of this drug on humaniods.

SCOTTY: (muttering) Aye and increase the hits on my website.

 

[Gary7]

Ensign Chekov: USS Enterprise navigator, and incurable Jelly Babies addict.

 

[Gary7]

It was the perfect ruse...

Nobody ever suspected that two of Starfleet's finest officers were responsible for the rampant graffiti problem on board the USS Enterprise.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Scotty: Ack, that's one huge Shat to pull out of the ship's toilet.
Spock: I would've thought a "captain's log" joke would be more appropriate.
Scotty: And they say Vulcans have no sense of humor.

 

[Gary7]

It took months of planning and great perseverance. And with Spock's ingenious lock pick device disguised as a hypo, Scotty and Spock finally plundered Kirk's stash of Romulan ale hidden on Rigel 2.

 

[Santa Kang]

SCOTTY: Hang on, they're about to go into warp!

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "It is illogical for you to blame the dog every time, Mister Scott."
Scotty: "Och. Bleedin' cabbage ..."

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Chekov: "Phaser Bombardment"... "Photon Torpedo Bombardment"... "Antimatter Bombardment"... Where's the damned "stun" setting?

Sulu: Tough crowd.

 

[Triskelion]

Chekov: Vhat happened to all my green buttons?
Sulu: Ooh my!

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "I thought Sulu promised not to do that while squeezing my buttcheeks."

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "Forget the dog, give me the shot."

Scotty: "WHOEVER'S TICKLING MY ARSE IS GUNNA GET A TUBING IF THEY DUNNA QUIT."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock: Mr. Scott, please stop playing with your chubby. We must inject the Captain.
Scotty: This is the Captain!