TOS Caption Contest #119 - Sing Me A Song

[Rat Boy]

Dude: "Most people think I'm crazy to use a snow blower while wearing assless chaps, but I don't care. I can't even feel my ass anymore."

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

Kirk:Merry Christmas, Bones!
McCoyAren't you Jewish, Jim?

 

[Nerys Myk]

Kirk: "I'm bringing sexy back."

McCoy: I got a note here from sexy's lawyer. It says "remember the restraining order."

 

[Outpost4]

And A Merry Christmas to you, Naughty Boy, along with all the other crazies in this contest!

 

[Nerys Myk]

And a Cloud Festivus for the rest of us.

 

[cooleddie74]

FARGO 2:

ROCK SALT BOOGALOO

"Sorry, Bones.

I don't give more than one sample per month without a romantic dinner or bondage gear."

UHURA:"See?

The new model tricorder can upload from iTunes! Isn't that amazing?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Redshirt: "Does that square of toilet paper count as a Klingon? Can we go home now?"

 

[cooleddie74]

RED GREEN:"Remember...I'm pullin' for ya.

We're all in this icy, shitty and intolerable mess together!"

"I'd warp a trillion miles...for one of yer smiles...

Oh, BONNNNNNNNES-Y!"

SCOTTY:"Keep recording the images, Uhura.

I swear I saw flashes of the old Playboy Mansion whizz by in there..."

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Kirk: "We're no strangers to looooove. You know the rules and so do I (do I)!"

Bones: "Uhh... Jim?"

And now, performing live in the Death Caves of The Forbidden Nebula, ladies and gentlemen, the Redshirt Quartet!

 

[Gertch]

Kirk (OS): "Where's the green shirts? We can't do the Christmas play without the green shirts too."

 

[Alrik]

"Cuz.....I'm a....rocketmaaaaan."


"Um, Bill.....that ships sailed."

 

[Igni Ferroque]

"But I thought you knew how to use it!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "See Bones, I'm as fit as a fiddle. I don't need a physical."

McCoy: "Say that after you exhale."

Uhura: "We bring gifts for the prophecied one."
Redshirt 1: "I bear myrrh."
Redshirt 2: "I bear bling."
Scotty: "A case of 200 year old Scotch, well half a case. It was a long journey..."
Uhura: "And I bear the finest weed this side of Aldeberan."
Scotty: "So laddie, where's the space manger at?"

 

[Shatmandu]

It's like a Caption Contest Orgasm!

Joe, merry

 

[Shatmandu]

Bob: "My suit is air-tight. When I take it off, the whole house smells like pot roast."

Kirk: "Then we shouldn't have family size bags of Funyuns on the ship."

Scotty: "Jesus survived and lived to be seventy?"
Uhura: "Lets find out what the 'H' stood for ..."

Kirk: "The Captain of the Enterprise-D had a timetravel adventure and left those assless chaps in my quarters, I swear."

 

[Triskelion]

Well Bones? Let's have it.
Have what?
I'm standing under your mistletoe, figure it out.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "I'm here for my Christmas Eve nude jumping jacks evaluation."

 

[Shatmandu]

Bob: "Between this and my crystal meth business, I think the economy is terrific."

Kirk: "I offered to stuff her turkey. What's the harm in that?"
McCoy: "The wiggling eyebrows."

Scotty: "So The Patriots cheated in every Super Bowl. I knew it."

Kirk: "When did you get pregnant?"
McCoy, pushing it down: "Puffy smock."
Kirk: "Yeah, sure, fatboy."

McCoy: "You put antlers on your erect penis and called it 'Rudolph'."
Kirk: "Wha, can't T'Pau take a joke?"

 

[LeadHead]

McCoy: Jim, I came in this morning and my entire stock of Saurian Brandy was gone. Do you know anything about it?

Uhura: I'm detecting a large vehicle moving toward that chimney. I'm reading Reindeer.
Scotty: This is it. Phasers on stun.

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty, watching a Christmas morning from his youth: "That spanner didn't come from Santa? Oh, Da, why'd ye lie to a wee lad ..." <turns, sobs>