TOS Caption Contest #119 - Sing Me A Song

[Rat Boy]

Jabba the Hutt (in Huttese): <<My tail's stuck in the door. Could you help me?>>

 

[Gertch]

Jabba (in Huttese): "Crap, didn't I tell you to leave the doctor alone. Comeon, we've got a bowling date we're late for."

 

[Rat Boy]

Jabba the Hutt (in Huttese): <<Rotta, what have I told you? If you have to go, then go to the bathroom in the bathroom!>>

McCoy: "I can see why they call him Stinky."

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "You want me to go on a double date with a heavyset older woman?"
Kirk: "Yep."
McCoy: "If you were going to cup her tits, where would your hands be?"

Scotty: "The little pellet containin' me remains ended up where?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: I dinna understand, this Nero fella from the future will stop us from getting fat?

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "I can never remember the US Presidents. It went Reagan-Reagan, Bush, Clinton-Clinton, Bush-Bush, Obama-Obama ..."
Uhura: "... Hasselhoff-Hasselhoff-Hasselhoff. Then, the wars started."

 

[Rat Boy]

Sulu: "Well, where did this delightful thing come from?"

Jabba the Hutt (in Huttese): <<Hey! Who's tickling my tail?!>>

 

[cooleddie74]

"No go, Bones.

You're just not long enough. Or packing enough girth.

Now pull your trousers up...before you embarrass us BOTH."

UHURA:"This is amazing! I'm recording images no human beings have seen with their own eyes in centuries or even MILLENNIA!!"

SCOTTY:"Make sure you make copies of the wee bits with the Roman orgies, lass."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Me colorectal exammie NO WONGA!!!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Jabba the Hutt quickly won over the crew of the Enterprise by ordering Helen Noel to wear the Slave Girl Leia outfit.

 

[cooleddie74]

"That's it, Jim.

I'm changing your diet card. This is getting ridiculous."

 

[Gertch]

Uhura: "Titanic? I don't believe there's a USS Titanic in the Federation."
Scotty (quietly): "What's with the period clothes? And why's it so cold?"

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy pays off his bookie for betting on the Lions to beat the Packers.

 

[Outpost4]

McCoy: Drunk, fat and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Pay up. You had the Broncos over the Chargers."

Jabba the Hutt (in Huttese): <<Bring me Cutler and the coach. They will suffer for this outrage!>>

 

[Shatmandu]

"Me colorectal exammie NO WONGA!!!"

McCoy: "We'll forgo the nude jumping jacks this time. An unnecessary formality, you understand ..."

 

[Outpost4]

Scotty: How come the caption contest hasn't been changed out yet?
Uhura: Outpost4 was celebrating the fact the Packers beat the Lions.
Scotty: Defeating the pitiful 0-16 Detroit Lions? That's the reason for a party? Does Outpost celebrate every time he gets an erection?
Uhura: Why, yes, he does.
Scotty: Borgas frat!


(I'll get it changed out this morning. Promise.)

 

[Shatmandu]

Red Shirt #1: "We didn't get to participate much, but this was fun."
Red Shirt #2: "Yep. Plus, I've heard good things about the caption contest waiting room we'll be sent to, after the change."
Scotty: "'Canteen.' Call it that. And Balock Puppet has an Adam's apple. Found that out the hard way, I did ..."

Red Shirt #1: "We do have a question about this ... canteen of yours."
Scotty: "Shoot."
Red Shirt #2, looking at the other: "Can you die there?"