TOS Caption Contest #107: The Inmate Runs The Asylum

[Rat Boy]

I know what you're thinking. What's going on here? Did Outpost4 develop a bad case of a bag of cats on his head? Was there a palace coup that you missed? Well, nothing that dramatic, actually. I'm just filling in for this contest and judging the last one. Just think of me as Harry Smith to Outpost4's Katie Couric.

Obviously, there were plenty (and I mean plenty) of choices to select from, a tad bit more than I'm used to over at the Movies Caption Contest unless we're dealing with a suggestive Sulu picture. Nevertheless, on to...

For our first pic, the winner of the picture of Captain Kirk pontificating while surrounded by sweaty Yangs went around the obvious constipation references with the following:

Kirk: "When I said I wanted pole dancers, that isn't what I meant!"
Cloud William: "But Cloud Lipowicz and Cloud Wachowski are um Polish."

And for the next pic, where Kirk, Spock, and McCoy deal with the latest medical crisis to afflict the captain:

Spock: "Captain, surely there are duties for which I am better suited than identifying which alien-STD you've acquired this week."

Kirk: "Mr. Spock, twenty minutes ago that 'blob' was my left testicle. I need answers and I need them now, dammit!"

Finally, as you might know over at the Movies Caption Contest we have a special award for the best Photoshop and since I have the keys to the car this week, I'm bringing it up here. I think you'll all agree that this winner is very...special:

Cloud Pecs kept the memory of Richard Simmons alive in the 23rd century.

So congratulations to The Laughing Vulcan, Diesel Micky Dolenz, and Outpost4!

There's also one item of business to take care of. Almost one year and fifty contests ago, Outpost4 picked up the flag from Shatmandu and continued to march on with the TOS Caption Contest. For a year of mirth and fifty contests of humor debauchery, I hereby induct Outpost4 into the "Mudd Club." Congratulations!

TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138
A beaker full of death (3x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alyssa
ancient
Atavachron
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
cakes516
CaptainJon
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (16x)

cultcross
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Diesel Micky Dolenz (8x)

Plus one this time for a total of 9!
Dohlman
DrBob (8x)
DS9Sega (5x)
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gertch (19x)
goldbug
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (2x)
highlander (2x)
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
John_Picard
jptrekker
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
Kirby
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
Mojochi
M'Sharak (9x)
NCC-1701 (6x)
Nerys Myk (17x)

Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (13x)

Plus one this time for a total of 14!
Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (26x)

Redfern
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (15x)
Shatmandu (13x)

Sir Rhosis (2x)
T'Bonz (8x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (2x)
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (11x)

Plus one this time for a total of 12!
The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (10x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2)
Tim M (3x)
Triskelion (6x)
Tristan
Turbo (2x)
vassa
Woulfe (4x)

Mudd Club


Now that's out of the way, on to the next contest. Pictures are of course from TrekCore unless otherwise stated and have been resized and moved to Imageshack to save on bandwidth, etc., etc. The first picture is from the high definition version of "Errand of Mercy," featuring Kirk and Spock using the Organian's idea of a latrine. The second is from "The Ultimate Computer," where Sulu and Chekov watch in horror as the M-5 starts playing "2 Girls, 1 Cup" on the view screen. And finally, the third's from "The Way to Eden." That's pretty much all you need to know. Enjoy and happy captioning!

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Great idea bombing the Klingons' latrine. All we needed was one match!"

As much as Chekov tried to resist it, Sulu had indeed gotten him hooked on All My Children.

Scotty: "Borgas frat! The pot farm on deck eight must be on fire again and the ventilation system's carrying the smoke throughout the bloody ship!"

Crewman: "Grooooooooooooooooooovy."

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Sulu: " Hey Pavel , that little guy kinda reminds me of you?"
Checkov: "Fuck not that Damed The Monkees show again"

Scotty: "Just a minute lad, I'll load the Rock Band game up for you!"
Crewman: "Far out man."

 

[Rat Boy]

Redshirt: "Mr. Scott, I see a bright light in front of me. Am I dying?"

Scotty: "Whoops, just trying out the new spot lamps, lad. Nothin' te get excited about."

 

[cooleddie74]

"They looking, Spock?

GOOD. Your pyrotechnic display was the perfect distraction from having them see us defecate on the ground over here.

I'll be glad when Ayelborne gets his council chamber lavatory fixed."

Chekov and Sulu were just as enraptured as the rest of the Enterprise crew over who was going to win the EXTREME MAKEOVER housemaking contest.

REDSHIRT:" UH-OH.

I should have known gobbling down three burritos for lunch was gonna come back to haunt me...

Uhhh...excuse me."

 

[cooleddie74]

SULU:"Have you ever seen anything like that, Pavel?"

CHEKOV:"Not since de last time you tricked me into peeking into de Deck 5 lavatory vile you vere in dere..."

 

[M'Sharak]

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2005-1/940070/kirksimmons.jpg

Cloud Pecs kept the memory of Richard Simmons alive in the 23rd century.

I must have missed that one.

Where's Dave with the fire extinguisher?

"What's on tonight, Ensign?"
" ... "
"Och, stoned again. Never mind, lad -- I'll get it myself!"

"Ready, Batmanuel?"
"Whenever you are, Kemo Sabay!"

"Dere dey go, Meester Sulu!"

 

[cooleddie74]

Air Guitar in the 23rd Century left MUCH to be desired.

"Hey.

Spock.

Check out the Organian broad in the loincloth mini."

"De Hood and Potemkin just flipped up de bird, Keptin! Evasive maneuvers? Or should I turn to aft and moon dem vit our shuttebay doors?"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"You thinking what I'm thinking?"

SPOCK:"Most likely not. But I'm game."

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "Ach, the Grateful Dead again?"

Redshirt: "Herbert."

 

[Outpost4]

Great job, Rat Boy. Thanks. The hour I spent making Kirk/Simmons this morning, I would have spent doing the contest instead. I like the trade-off a lot!

Plus a win and the Mudd Club. It's the Red Hour!

Kirk: Holy renaissance fair, Batman!

to themselves:
Chekov: I think I can see Droxine's nipple!
Sulu: I wonder how they keep the cloud city floating?

To keep him loose, Doohan always got his stunt double drunk before a big fight scene.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Chekov: watching space porn, "Oh yeah, you like in the azz, don't you?"

Sulu: inner monologue, "Hum. Never thought about doing it that way before..."

Rainman redshirt: "Oh, the wheels on the starship go round-and-round, round-and-round, round-and-round; the wheels on the starship go round-and-round..."

 

[Rat Boy]

The crew gathers around to watch the latest season of Dancing with the Stars. Chekov is transfixed by Kim Kardashian's booty while Sulu naturally can't stop looking at Warren Sapp's.

 

[cooleddie74]

SULU:"Should we tell the Captain about this?"

CHEKOV:"VAIT.

Vait til de scrambled porn images are totally gone...den call him up here."

 

[cooleddie74]

"YES.

I will do as you say. I will make the decks flow red with the blood of those who don't believe you exist inside my head!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "That's the toughest, meanest, filthiest pest hole on the face of the earth!"

Spock: "Why not complain to the owner?"

Kirk: "I am the owner."

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: On three, you hit the bouzouki player high and I'll hit him low.

 

[Outpost4]

It was "Take Your Inner Child To Work" day.

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "Aren't ye a little old to be listening to the Jonas Brothers, lad?"

 

[Outpost4]

Scotty: The scanners are picking up a purple dinosaur, Captain.