Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #563: Season premieres!
- Thread starter LeadHead
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Welcome back, LeadHead!
Picard: New uniforms and Beverly's back? Mr. Crusher set a course for Risa, we're going to celebrate!
Gowron: It wouldn't be a Klingon Spring Break if someone didn't die!
Data: Jean-Luc Picard, Captain. A man barely alive. Counselor, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic man. Jean-Luc Picard will be that man. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster.
Picard: No Beverly? Will with a Beard? Worf finally in security gold? This is some way to start the year, I'll tell you.
Troi: Captain, I'm sensing a feeling of being adrift. As if whoever controls our lives is on strike and we'll have to make due with scripts written over a decade ago for an aborted attempt to bring back the crew of the original Enterprise.
Twain: We must get a message to your crew in the future. I've got an idea, but I'm afraid it'll go to your head. Head on over here, Mr. Data. Stuck here in the past, you'll never get ahead of this situation.
Data: Sir, I am aware of the plan. It was my own head that started me on this adventure. Now, please, let me remember you as one of, if not the best, American author and not some hack who resorted to puns.
Twain: Don't lose your head over all of this.
Guinan: Ignore him, he's always like this. And let's hurry, I still have to talk to Samuel here about a certain "N" word he's choosing to use Huckleberry Finn.
Picard: New uniforms and Beverly's back? Mr. Crusher set a course for Risa, we're going to celebrate!
Gowron: It wouldn't be a Klingon Spring Break if someone didn't die!
Data: Jean-Luc Picard, Captain. A man barely alive. Counselor, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic man. Jean-Luc Picard will be that man. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster.
Picard: No Beverly? Will with a Beard? Worf finally in security gold? This is some way to start the year, I'll tell you.
Troi: Captain, I'm sensing a feeling of being adrift. As if whoever controls our lives is on strike and we'll have to make due with scripts written over a decade ago for an aborted attempt to bring back the crew of the original Enterprise.
Twain: We must get a message to your crew in the future. I've got an idea, but I'm afraid it'll go to your head. Head on over here, Mr. Data. Stuck here in the past, you'll never get ahead of this situation.
Data: Sir, I am aware of the plan. It was my own head that started me on this adventure. Now, please, let me remember you as one of, if not the best, American author and not some hack who resorted to puns.
Twain: Don't lose your head over all of this.
Guinan: Ignore him, he's always like this. And let's hurry, I still have to talk to Samuel here about a certain "N" word he's choosing to use Huckleberry Finn.
Control Voice [Coming From the Viewscreen]: There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can roll the image, make it flutter. We can change the focus to a soft blur, or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next hour, sit quietly, and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: there is nothing wrong with your television set. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to... The Outer Limits....
DATA: I am attempting to talk to the hand as you request, but my interface does not seem compatible.
MARK TWAIN: I see you're attempting to download my complete works without, shall we say, remuneration. I'll overlook the offense if Madam Guinan shares the flask of Aldeberan whiskey she keeps secreted in her hat.
PULASKI: Very well. I shall go into the basement and replace the lighting fuse. I may be some time...
GOWRON: No cash? No credit? No problem! The Black Fleet is free to all who apply!
Pulaski: Thank you for the introduction, Captain. I requested my transfer to Enterprise because of your staff's now legendary ability to approach crises by convening conference, even when other captains would have considered the course of action to be obvious. You see, I love to talk, and I just know that we're going to get along famously. I have prepared a discussion of 47 ways in which senior staff briefings could run more efficiently, and I thought we could begin with that, before moving on to a brief outline of the 19 different Vulcanian voices commonly used in casual conversation....
Picard: Mr Worf, adjust the brightness on the view screen by 20 percent. It's too high
Worf: <thinking> Where are the display settings? Maybe it's the control panel?....control panel.....control panel..... BaQa'! Where's the control panel? <speaking, frustrated> Captain, I cannot find the display controls.
Picard: Number One, schedule Mr Worf for a Windows refresher course.
Riker: <under his breath> Tasha could have done it.
Worf: I heard that.
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Troi: "An intervention?"
Riker: "You've had chocolate at every meal for the last month. It was inevitable."
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