Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #547: Yep, that's the Enterprise
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Captain's Log: Apparently there are not only Lightning Storms in space, but also tornadoes.
Worf: Captain, we have lost shields!
Picard: Before we all die, could someone please explain why the bridge is at one of the most exposed areas of the ship?
Data: Data to Enterprise. Request permission to land in shuttlebay 2.
Computer: All of our officers are busy attending to other shuttles, but your request is important to us. Please hold.
The Reliant, back from a temporal anomaly takes it's revenge on the first Enterprise it can find for what happened to its port nacelle in the Mutara Nebula!
Picard: Report.
Worf: The planet is spitting on us.
Picard: That's as good an explanation as any.
Hours later, the Enterprise was deposited on Planet Oz.
Picard: Pft. That ship would fit in Shuttlebay 1.
Data: Objects on viewscreen are more distant, and larger, than they appear.
Captain Picard demanded an extended fly-by before docking. It took half the pilot episode.
Fraiser Crane's competitive desire for the biggest and best gets out of hand.
Planet Competitve enjoys a tug-of-war game with Planet Possessive using the Enterprise.
Had an accident? Need a lawyer? Don't try to take on the insurance company yourself. Call 1-800-FERENGI. Get the latinum YOU deserve. We'll work hard for you because the more latinum you get, the more latinum we get and if that's not a Rule of Acquisition, it certainly should be.
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Data: Enterprise go down the hooooole.
LaForge: Data, your 20th century cartoon research project is getting out of hand.
Riker: Captain, we're caught in some kind of downward spiral that leads to nowhere.
Picard: Well why don't you just break up with Deanna then.
RIKER: Thread is going smoothly, full speed ahead.
DATA: Captain! Somebody just started comparing Discovery to The Orville!
PICARD: RED ALERT!
TROI: Why would anyone do that? We were having a pleasant conversation!
DATA: We're being sucked down!
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Picard: "Merde! I should have let Counselor Troi take the helm of the other ship!"
Captain's log, we have succesfully found the rectum of the universe.
Picard: Those new Klingon battle cruisers are tiny, hihihihi.
Data to bridge, I forgot how to dock...
Picard: I hope you're insured!
Captain's log, electricity is blue and it hurts.
Worf "Now entering gloryhole."
Picard: "Wha -- no!"
Worf: "Commander Riker said it was called a gloryhole."
Riker: "It's true -- everyone's saying it."
Picard: "You called it a 'gloryhole'; nobody else called it a gloryhole."
Crusher: CMO's Log, Stardate 3373.8. We have arrived at the anomaly designated Colonus3. Commander Laforge and his team have completed their modifications and we are ready to begin the Colonoscopy.
Picard: Ensign, take her in, 300KPH. <thinking> It's times like these I wish I was still the captain of the Stargazer.
Riker: <thinking> Giggity!
Troi: <telepathically to Riker> What did I ever see in you?
Boldly going where no one has gone before... The Q Continuum toilet
Riker: Boy, I thought our topside bridge design sucked. These idiots put their entire command section out in front for the 1st weapons volley to destroy
Data: Shuttle Pod to the Enterprise. Can I come back inside now, Captain? I promise to stop reciting poetry
Captain's Log Supplemental: Stupid 23rd century captains
Planetary tractor beam tug of war was the starship equivalent of doing donuts in a parking lot
WORF: Sensors indicate a small, well armed, maneuverable ship.
RIKER: My God, the Romulans figured out that small ships are more effective in combat than large bulky ships! This changes everything.
DATA: Sensors indicate another incapacitating virus infecting most of the ship. Guess it's me again! Sheesh.
Q: Damn it, they got destroyed again! I can't let Picard die, I'm getting that test ready for him. REWIND. God damn FIGURE IT OUT this time. Why don't they just slightly change their heading?! If they can't figure that out no way they will pass the real test.
GEORDI: We've nearly absorbed all the continuity from Kronos!
PICARD: Quick, vent it into space!
Wesley, "Well, this sucks!"
"Shut up Wesley!!" - everyone.
Picard: "Do you have any Grey Poupon?"
Troi: "I sense that they don't have any."
"Life forms... you tiny little life forms... ♬"
Picard: "Seems they don't have any Grey Poupon, Number One."
Riker: "If nothing else, my hair's gone grey and as for my underwear..."
Peter Griffin: "That's my line!"
"Well, this blows." - Wesley.
(the blu-ray shows, on the port side, Wesley being thrown out of the airlock, but he's very small and hard to be seen)
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