Contest: VOTE TNG Caption This! #490: An excuse to say "Shut up Wesley!" a lot

[Tenacity]

Picard: "Wesley, the bridge won't be equiped with a emergency manual joystick until our next overhaul."

Wesley: "Yes Sir?"

Picard: "So, keep your hands off the joystick while you're on the bridge."

 

[Finn]

I've long suspected that the Argo scene was cooked up by Patrick Stewart himself, who just wanted an excuse to run around the set in a monster truck.

IIRC Michael Dorn said something like that about Stewart in that scene, in an interview not long after Nemesis came out.

 

[shivkala]

I'm just adjusting my mullet hat and I'll be ready, sir.
It's not a mullet hat! It's a Starfleet-issued balaclava!
Isn't that some kind of cake?
You're thinking of a baklava.
Why would Starfleet want us to wear cakes on our heads?
Look, a balaclava is a headpiece covering all areas around the face. A baklava is a kind of sweet cake. Do you really think Starfleet wants us to survive exposure on a desert planet by wearing a cake on our heads??
According to Siri, it's not just a normal cake, but a rich Middle Eastern cake made of thin layers of flaky pastry filled with nuts and honey.
Does that make any sense??
Maybe Starfleet wants us to have a nice nosh.
THERE IS NO CAKE!!!
Is this like the time you asked for tea and biscuits? And then pretended you ordered cookies?

Wesley: So, this Bannakaffalatta thing we are wearing.

Picard: Balaclava. Bannakaffalatta was a character on an episode of Doctor Who!

Wesley: Isn't that the French show you watch?

Picard: British.

Wesley: Then why does everyone talk in French accents like yours?

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Wesley: "You know, four hundred years ago, the only way that people had access to a view this spectacular was via something called a screensaver."

Picard: "Starfleet Academy?! You're better off without it, boy. You wouldn't believe the hazing rituals I went through. Most of them fall under the category of 'don't ask, don't tell'. I still can't look at a toasted crumpet without having a counselling session."

Captain's Log: "I had thought that the two most annoying people on the ship in close proximity would result in a geometric increase of irritation. I had grossly underestimated."

LaForge: "Oh well, better get out the old putty knife."

Picard: "I don't see how watching a 20th century movie can possible help in our situation, Ensign."
Wesley: "I'm watching Flight of the Phoenix, sir."

 

[Hutchy01]

LaForge: I know what I did, but just shut up Wesley.

 

[Tenacity]

Wesley: What do you mean you "had sex with the wall?"
LaForge: Shut up Wesley.

 

[Finn]

Wesley: This reminds me of the time I was piloting a shuttlecraft through a snowstorm.

 

[tharpdevenport]

"Are you looking at me bum? Bum looker."

 

[Nebusj]

``Yup ... I totally would make a great hood ornament.''

``Um ... no, Captain, I don't see any reason Commander Worf wouldn't be an okay hood ornament.''

``I'm sorry, Captain, I don't know how to get him out of sleep mode.''

``You need all my acne cream?''

``Um ... if anyone's interested, there's a large desert bulbasaur here.''

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: What's the boy doing here? And is that some sort of uniform?
WORF: I don't think faking amnesia will work, sir. We're stuck with an "Acting Ensign".

 

[Finn]

Wesley: ...and fortunately, my fingers were covered with sugary residue from the dessert I had in Ten Forward. After half an hour, the console was sticky. The complex carbon compounds leeched into the heading setting buttons and made an inverted feedback that helped save the Enterprise....What?

 

[Tenacity]

Picard: "Wesley, you should not use the ship's systems to peep on Councilor Troi in the shower."

Wesley: "I'd never do that Sir."

Picard: "She's on the bloody main screen."

 

[LeadHead]

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