Contest: VOTE TNG Caption This! #490: An excuse to say "Shut up Wesley!" a lot

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone!

First up to the plate, we have the "Never block the big screen!" Award, going to shivkala for:

Picard: Down in front!



Next, we have the "Accidents Happen" Award, going to Happy Xmas (War is Over) for:

DATA: I am curious, Doctor. How does one accidentally type "Bolian Sex Party" into the search field.
CRUSHER: Just fix it!



Next, we have the "But does he have a picture of Mel Torme on his desk?" Award, going to Leviathan for:

Once a year, Data had an inexplicable urge to dress up as someone named Judge Harry T Stone and speak in a thick rural accent.



Next, we have the "Pieces in our Time" Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:

DATA: Hmm...where could my console be? Could it be there? No, it couldn't be there, Worf is sitting there. Could it be over there? Hmm...no...
WORF: Commander, I know you are experimenting with human passive-aggressiveness, but I must warn you if you continue to do it toward me you will end up in pieces.



Next, we have the "So does Geordi have a Giga-Pet?" Award, going to Eggnog in the Coffee for:

Attentive Data made sure to keep his Tamagachi Cat alive during Red Alert.

The Award goes to Finngle Bells for:

Brent's Journal: We did a forgettable episode. Nobody will remember anything that happened in this episode, assuming folks would remember the show beyond this season.

Our KBL goes to Riu Riu Chiu for:

Data: Inquiry. "TrekBBS"?

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

Making our way to the end of the opening credits of TNG, we have Wesley Crusher!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Wesley: Who's driving right now?

RIker: (over comm) Bridge to Ensign Crusher, where the hell are you?!!

Picard: Yeah, we can just send you off to the Academy and never talk to anyone who sits in that chair again.

Picard: Mister Crusher, I'm sending you back to remedial music class. That is not how you play air guitar!

La Forge: This is why we can't have nice things!

Picard: Mister Crusher, we need your help repairing this shuttle!

Crusher: Just a second, I just got signal.

Picard: Contact the Enterprise. Tell them where we are.

Crusher: After I catch that Pokemon!

 

[Finn]

Wesley: How would I get this ship in trouble so I can save it again today

*picks up chair and throws it at the window, making cracks*

First Officer's Log: The Captain just came back from Beverly's. He was in there longer than usual this morning. He has been staring at Wesley like that for an hour now.

Picard: Must resist...must resist....resistance is futile

La Forge: I hate Taco Tuesdays

Crusher: I'm attempting to change the atmosphere so this area would be rainy constantly by...

Picard: Merde

 

[Gepard]

"Witness me, Mr. Crusher."

 

[Jedman67]

Shvartzes!!
(image by @Gep Malakai)

 

[Paradise City]

Guinan (off-screen): Those windows won't wash themselves, Wesley.

Picard: The ship's hull is looking a bit grimey, lad. I want it to look spick and span in case we run into any Romulans. So when Guinan is finished with you I want you to suit up, get out there and get scrubbing. Lt. Worf will be along to check on your progress.

Wesley: ...oh, and Data, not only that, but my mom says my back may never heal...

Picard: Alright, Mr Crusher, your 5 minutes is up! Time to shut up, suit up and get back out there! And now that I think of it some of the interiors needs a good scrub as well. I want you to head a one man cleaning unit to deal with it.

Worf has come down with a mysterious case of nanite head lice so I've ordered Tal Shiar Troi to not to spare the whip on your lazy ass! Dismissed!

Geordi: Ho, ho, ho, Wesley. Pheee-eew! You really should've read the label. Warp Core Fluid and Wall Cleaning Fluid are two entirely different things.

And, no, Wesley I don't think a sophisticated system of holographic projectors will cover this one up....

Picard: For wrecking my ship, Wesley, I've loaned you out to the Klingon Imperial Waste Disposal Service. Their fleet of garbage scows haven't been washed since Kahless threw his brother into the River Whatever-the-heck. And Klingons consider cleaning sponges to be a child's toy. They use that wire mesh which they consider to be the "Bat'leth" of cleaning utensils. Oh and I've personally seen to it that your old buddy, old pal Commander Kurn will be on hand to keep a close eye on you!

You f*&6d with the wrong starship Crusher!!!!

 

[Catarina]

Geordi: We better replace this panel before some twisted crewman ends up in Sickbay.
Wesley: Sir?
Geordi: Ever run holodeck program PI Apple?
Wesley: *pause* Ah! Yes, American Pie!

 

[Catarina]

Worf: The boy gets to drive and have a chair?
Wesley: Isn't there an adage, "Klingons do not pout"?

 

[Catarina]

Picard: "A troll? How fitting." "If you want to be "For the Horde" why not actually try surviving this desert instead of playing a simulation of it, you wuss."

 

[Finn]

Wesley: Only if we had some kind of dune buggy...

Picard: Don't be ridiculous, boy! I'd never do something like that....

 

[Leviathan]

Captain's log, Stardate 44307.3: Solving our 2 main problems, we've decided to resort to cannibalism a bit early.

 

[GeorgeKirk]

"Wes, call your mom and tell her Keenser has a cold again."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard Inner monologue: "Gladys! Ginger! Tiffany! No, Cheryl! Betsy ... Betsy! Mm! That's new!"

Wesley: "Sir?"

Picard: "SHUT UP, BETSY!!!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Your dramatic posing needs work boy. You'll never make Captain with that one!

CRUSHER: I've a solution, Data. Move aside so I can input the program...
PICARD: Oh no he didn't!

CRUSHER: We can relax, Captain. According to my WormFinder App, there isn't a sandworm within 200 kilometers of here.

 

[LeadHead]

The first post has been updated with the winners of the last contest. Congrats to our winners!

 

[Tenacity]

Traveler (os): "Wesley, have I ever told you what taut buttocks you have?"

Wesley: "But who will pilot the ship if I go to Starfleet Academy?"

Picard: "We're getting the former Commander of the Battlestar Pegasus, I'm sure she won't consider it a demotion,"

 

[Triskelion]

Wesley: I didn't do it.

 

[Jedman67]

Wesley: Only if we had some kind of dune buggy...

Picard: Don't be ridiculous, boy! I'd never do something like that....

(Do we have to credit Gep Malakai for the photoshopped image? Mods, please let us know. Thanks! )

 

[Finn]

(Kindly credit Gep Malakai for the photoshopped image, or swap it for the OP version. Thanks! )

I'm far from the first to do this. There have been caption contests where few pages consisted of several posters using the same photoshopped picture with different captions, without giving credit. Even one or two of my photoshopped pictures were used by others way back without giving me credit a way back, IIRC.

Should we all give credit when using a photoshopped picture for different take on the captions..., @Gep Malakai or @Mutai Sho-Rin ?

 

[tharpdevenport]

Wes: "'Glory hole'?"

Picard: "Wesley, we have to do some life-saving basic work to survive. Wesley? What are you doing?"

Wes: "Hold on, I'm Tweeting about our untimely death."

Picard: "I hope you die here."