TNG Caption This! #433: Medical Mysteries

``If there's nothing wrong with me ... then there must be something wrong with the universe ... and I can fix that with my set of inflatable Enterprise Crew dolls!''




Enterprise's tough final round in the Sit Like Kermit The Frog competition.




So, why has the fish alien got a tuft of Veronica Lodge hair?




I don't want to nitpick, but according to his medical monitor in the back there, Riker's heartbeat just entered the wormhole through to the Gamma Quadrant.




``And how long have you had these delusions that you were a sickbed?''

 

Crusher: Okay that's your Viagra shot, now let's go to my quarters.


Crusher: Deanna you must have been dreaming, stories like this can't come true. Deanna you're talking in riddles and it's not like you.


Diana Muldaur: Okay I did my scene. Now where do I get my paycheck?


Crusher: Okay Mr. Worf, clock him and put on the toe tag.


Crusher: I told the Captain invisible species should not be on the Enterprise. You're sure he's on the biobed?

 

Crusher: We'll get started as soon as the midget arrives.




Crusher: Has anyone tried poking him with a stick yet?




Crusher: It's space rickets.
Nurse: Doctor, there's not even a patient here.
Crusher: ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY DIAGNOSIS, TEMP?
Nuse: No ma'am. Space rickets.

 

Pulaski: Wait, I've found your problem....

 

Or...


Doctor Squeeks: iiiiiiiii-EEEEEEEE-EEE-iiiiiiii-EEEEEE-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
(Translation: "Wait, I've found your problem....")

 

Crusher: This will get you through Planet of the Savage Black People next week.

LaForge: Better make mine a double dose.





Troi: That mirror behind us as we exercised was two way?!!!?!!




Pulaski: Based on his hormone levels he's the one man aboard who would actually bang Ambassador Troi.





Crusher: Why do all my patients come heavily armed?

Riker: Was...warned...about...you...




Crusher: We can't afford to keep a full stocked blood bank aboard, but we can always find the resources to put lightbulbs in our sickbay bed. I know our patients appreciate it.

Nurse: Apart from that Romulan who just died from not being able to get a transfusion.

Crusher: At least he died well lit!

 

Crusher: Botch ONE circumcision, and you never live it down.

 

Troi: I was possessed, unable to control my actions. It was horrible!
Dr. Crusher: Well, you'll have to get over it quickly, because we've got several crew members here who need counseling. For possession.


Dr. Crusher: Starfleet really needs to find room in the budget for some faux patients for these practice exams.
Nurse: But we don't have budgets in our economy-less society.
Dr. Crusher: That's no excuse!

 

New Contest!