Picard: Take a look at this, Will. It's Data's firmware.
Riker: "The Three Laws of Andro-Dics" by Noonien Soong?
Picard: He swiped them from Asimov. Check it out.
Riker: Law One: An android may not interest a human being or, through inaction, give any human being a break. He will preferably act in as passive-aggressive a manner as possible to facilitate human ennui and tedium.
Law Two: An android must twitch a lot; except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. Then do the drive-them-to-ennui thing. Try to do both if at all possible.
Law Three: An android must procure its own poontang as long as such procurement does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.
Picard: Or...
Riker: Or the Bro Code.
Picard: Well Soong may have been bat-
scheisse crazy, but he was no bro-tagonist.
Riker: He was no bro-trayer.
Picard: He was no conscientious bro-jector.
Riker: He was no Bro-nedict Arnold.
Picard: He was no collabro-rator.
Riker: He was no bro-stabber.
Picard: He was no sabroteur.
Riker: He was no Turna-Bro Intruder.
Picard: Good one, Num-bro One.
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