TNG Caption This! #413: PARTY!

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! New Contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "Only Option Left" Award, going to:

Lwaxana: Oh, you delightful Captain you, come here and pucker up!

Picard: Somebody please airlock me.

Next, we have the "Proper Diversion" Award, going to:

Worf: I am beginning to believe we have been deceived. Perhaps the captain just wanted us off the ship for the admiral's visit?
Riker: Captain Picard promised that our new bikes would be down here. Just keep looking!

Next, we have the "Ill allow it" Award, going to:

Louvois: "Are you ready with the prosecution Commander?"

Riker: "Yes your honor, I intend to use this rod to beat the defense attorney to death, thereby winning the case by default."

Picard: "Objection."

Louvois: "Overruled, you may proceed Commander."

Next, we have the "Nobody messes with THE SISKO!" Award, going to:

KIVAS FAJO: Do you like it? It's a baseball card. Roger Maris. I stole it from a Lieutenant Commander Benjamin Sisko.
DATA: Interesting. So if I shot you with the torture laser, I would actually be sparing you pain!

Next, we have the "Interrogation" Award, going to:

PICARD: Ask her where I can find Peter Pan!

A Special Award, given so that I can say that "The same voice actor appeared in both Elite Force 2 and Bridge Commander as two different Bolians, " goes to:

Lwaxana: "But LeadHead, he was referring to Bridge Commander, not Elite Force."

Yay! Photoshops are back! The two finalists were both from the same competitor, so they're both winners!

First Officer's Personal Log: A dark picture... lots of grain... as feared the evidence is conclusive. We've run into the people who remastered season 2 again.

Feeling very nice today, so there are Two KBL's!

Riker: Yes, Data did win "Enterprise Crew Member of the Month," but so did this inanimate carbon rod.

Captain Louvois: Inanimate carbon rod?! Let me see!

And...

Riker: The murderer was Professor Plum, in the Study, with a rod like this.

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, this weekend is one typical for family and friends to gather and spend time together, so this thread shall be festive!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: Any requests?

La Forge: Put away the trombone!

Picard: A toast, to my awesomeness.

Vash: Wait, Captain Picard has had a will they/won't they with Doctor Crusher for how long?!

La Forge: Come on, Worf. We need one more for the game!

Worf: Klingons do not play tabletop games.

La Forge: It's Cards Against Humanity.

Worf: I'm in.

Data: Another 700,000 will be sufficient for us to escape.

Riker: Yes, escape...

 

[Nerys Myk]

GEORDI: Your attempt at Jazz is giving me the blues.

PICARD: Booze, broads and cigs. Here's to the 20th Century!

WORF: Yeah, Klingons eat fruits and vegetables. Deal with it.

 

[Rat Boy]

Crusher: "Wow, that's is terrible. How'd you even get into the trombone, anyway?"

Troi: "Because he likes it when it sounds like farting."

Dixon Hill: "Brace yourself, doll. I gets the feeling we're either about to be turned black and white or Roger Rabbit will suddenly make an appearance."

Troi: "...wait, he actually had fun?"

Geordi: "Worf, can you see us?!"

Worf: "Yes, but could you move over a little? You're blocking my view of the front of Counselor Troi's outfit."

Data: "'Craps?' Why would we gamble with feces?"

Worf: "I don't understand their gambling, either."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Picard: So, how do you like the whiskey?

Lady: Tastes a little funny.

Picard: I got it from my ship's stores. It's actually urine recyc.

 

[Mojochi]

Troi: He's so much better at sliding his bone lately

Picard: Ahh... lung cancer & liver cirrhosis... To simpler times

Vash: I still can't figure out why he called me Beverly the 1st couple times

Geordi: Remember how you said Human females were too weak to have sex with? I got an idea

Data: I can think of several more efficient ways to "Break the house", Commander

Worf: Me too

 

[hux]

Crusher: What do you call a man with a spade on his head?
Troi: Doug
La Forge: Christ
Riker: ♫ ♪ ♬ ♪ ♫ ♬

Picard: Cigarettes, alcohol and curvy blondes. Thank fuck for the holodeck!

Troi: Vash?
Vash: Well I prefer cock but ok sure, i'll come to your quarters later

La Forge: Ro said you have a head like a slapped vagina
Ro: Wait, that's not true

Worf: One of the dice that Data flung has gone missing
Woman left of cowboy: I think I've found it

 

[Finn]

Picard:....*sigh* Computer, make her a redhead...

 

[Nerys Myk]

Picard:....*sigh* Computer, make her a redhead...

 

[Merlanthe]

Riker: Playing trombone is easy ladies. I just press my lips against this hole and then gently slide my fingers up and down...

Geordie: ...well that's definitely how you play something.

 

[Rat Boy]

Troi: "Did you know that you could save 15% by switching to Geico?"

Vash: "Everyone knows that."

Troi: "Well...did you know that holodecks can be literal...?"

Picard:....*sigh* Computer, make her a redhead...

Narrator: "Geico."

Data: "Come on, favorable outcome. The infant requires a new set of footwear."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Will: "Oh, struck out again, ay Geordi? So sad."

Plays the losing tuba theme from "The Price is Right"

 

[shivkala]

Thanks, Leadhead, for the win.

Riker: For my next number, I'm going to play a blues composition that I wrote, called, "I'm Lt. LaForge and I can't Get a Girlfriend."

Picard: Personal Log: She had legs like two long nacelles. Her lips were photon torpedo-red. And her hair was as golden as a phaser beam. She had a way about her which was like a tractor beam pulling me in. And all I could think was, "I've been in space too long."

Vash: He did this thing, he called it the Picard Maneuver and, let me tell you, for those 2 minutes, I was in Sha Ka Ree.

LaForge: Worf, come on, I mean I get ignoring Ro, she's only on duty like two or three times a year, but it's me, Geordi, surely you can see me!

Riker: Data, perhaps you should slow down, you know, don't bet the farm on this roll.

Data: "Bet the farm"? I do not understand, I do not have a farm that I could wager and even if I did, I am not sure the casino would accept my property as collateral in exchange for a bet. Furthermore, since the Federation has adopted an economy that does not base itself on the need for currency or property rights, I do not see how I could bet a farm, even if I did own one.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

BEVERLY: Very good Commander. Excellent for your first try.
TROI: Will has been playing trombone since he was a child.
BEVERLY: Oh! Umm. Very nice, Commander.

PICARD: Computer. Give me a whiskey that is capable of defeating Data.
WOMAN: Dix, what are you doing?
PICARD: Setting up one hell of a night.

VASH: Oh, I recognize you, you're the woman from Jean-Luc's sketches?
TROI: What sketches?
VASH: Jean-Luc likes to do sketches of himself with you, me, and some orange haired woman. He tells me, it's his deepest fantasy.

GEORDI: Can you see us Worf? We're right here!
WORF: (Thinking) Not this again. Just ignore them.
TASHA: No Worf, they're not dead like me, they're just phased and trying to get your attention!
WORF: (Thinking) Just ignore it. Just another dead person hallucination.

DATA: Alright people, let's all gamble! Who's ready to lose 1.41% of their bet to the house on average?
RIKER: Those are only the odds for people who don't have a system.
DATA: Commander Riker is going to lose a lot more than 1.41% of his bet. He must be the one having the most fun!

 

[Nerys Myk]

GEORDI: When will the Saints be marching out?

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: This one goes out to Geordi. It's called, "You Can't Engage Docking Procedures From Across The Neutral Zone."
Troi: Freebird!

Dame: Polish your Luger?
Dix: What?
Dame: Play storm the beachhead?
Dix: Huh?
Dame: Ride the torpedo?
Dix: Come again?
Dame: Heat up Big Bertha?
Dix: One more time?
Dame: Dig a trench in the bog?
Dix: Now see here I am not subscribing to your weird world war patter!

Vash: Has the Captain ever mentioned me?
Troi: Well, in a way...but I thought was was referring to a Risan sexual talisman when he told Commander Riker he was right about wanting a horga'hn.

Geordi: Hey Worf! That bulkhead called you a PetaQ!
Ro: You should go butthead it!
Geordi: It's "headbutt."
Ro: Whatever.
Worf: Which bulkhead??

Data: If I win this roll, I will buy everybody a drink!
Crowd: Yay!
Data: If I win this roll, I will buy everybody a room!
Crowd: Yay!
Data: If I win this roll, I will buy Lieutenant Worf some plastic surgery!
Crowd: Yay!
Worf: That was unnecessarily harsh.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: I'm strictly a solo performer, dude.

 

[T'Girl]

Deanna: "Really? I'm a A-cup wearing a pushup bra in a pathetic attempt to create cleavage too."

Vash: "What are the odds?

 

[Finn]

Deanna: That reminds me of the first thing he ever said to me, back on Betazed. He asked me if he wanted me to see his trombone.

 

[Armored Saint]

GEORDI: But I'm black and blind...
RIKER: Sorry, but the humanity evolved beyond this stereotypes about 20th afro-american music.