TNG Caption This! #401: Worf & Peace

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! Let's begin a new contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "Freemium" Award, going to:

KTARIAN: What is the meaning of this?!
PICARD: You told us the game was free, then started charging slips of latinum for in game rewards! We want our money back!

Next, we have the "Unintended Consequences" Award, going to:

Sometimes Worf's breakfast was disagreeable to more than just his digestive system

Next, we have the "Critical Information" Award, going to:

Spock: Congratulations on taking command of a Starfleet Galaxy Class starship. Today, we will be going over the basics, starting with the Prime Directive. Lesson 1: Ignoring it, but saving the Federation.

Next, we have the "Maybe Hammond will be nice about it after the show" Award, going to:

Data: Sir, our time for "Star in a reasonably priced car" is still going to be what I believe the host would call "Piss poor".

Next, we have "The USS Enterprise NCC-1701-D, with a hull STRONGER than a speeding bullet" Award, going to:

Picard: ``Please notify Command that while we have located Superman he will ... not be returning to Earth.''

Next, we have the "None of them were marked Urgent" Award, going to:

Data: "Captain, here are your subspace communications as ordered: 'You have thirty minutes to move your shuttle', 'You have ten minutes', 'Your shuttle has been impounded', 'Your shuttle has been blown into pieces', 'You have thirty minutes to remove your shuttle debris'."

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

Captain's Log: It will take several more days before the viewscreen is restored to its correct, full size. In the meantime, I have already received several complaints from the crew about having to bunch up towards the front of the bridge.

Data: It has come to my attention that you are not Abe Froman, sausage king of Chicago.
Picard: You touch me and I'll yell RAT.

For such a special contest, I'm bringing back the special awards from the holidays!

Dorn: (After 2 hours of makeup) FINALLY!
Stewart: Right, we're all here then.
Director: Alien ready? Crew ready? Places. Action!
Stewart: Make it so!
Director: Cut! That's a wrap!
Stewart: Let's all go to my house, I'm having a pizza pool party and you're all invited!
All: Yay!
Director: Dibs on Dorn's slices!
Dorn: @#$%^&*.... (2 more hours of makeup)

Picard: Data, I must recommend immediate treatment for Dr. Crusher. She seems inordinately fascinated with this vintage Casio keyboard I replicated for her.

Troi: I sense...Danger.
Data, Riker: NO SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

Worf questioned the logic of doing the Ice Bucket challenge in the turbolift.

I very much appreciated all of the kind words from everyone in the last contest. It was wonderful and moving, I wanted to give a special shout out for this tribute:

A tribute to the 400th contest

My Spock of Ages entry from several years ago,

One of my favorite Photoshops of all time, so glad to see this again. Nerys Myk, would it be wrong for me to ask what the images deep, deep in the viewscreen are? My eyes fail me after the "Where No Man Has Gone Before" Spock, I think the next one is NuSpock, but I can't be sure. I'll understand if that needs to be a trade secret.

And now, after a two week hiatus from our Character contests, we return with my favorite character, ladies and gentlemen... Worf, son of Mogh!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Worf: Picard fired me. All of you should be mean to him once I'm gone.

Two minutes Later...

Worf: (over comm) Worf to Enterprise. Very funny, Captain. Now beam down my clothes.

Riker: All right, I'm the First Officer, I'll run this meeting. So what do we do?

Worf: (thinking) We are so screwed.

Worf: Surprise! It's a mutiny! Wait, where is everyone?

Computer: Saucer separation in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Worf: Crap.

Worf: This is a Non Smoking Holodeck!

Worf: Yup, you're gonna have a baby any time now. Well, good luck with that. Goodbye.

 

[Nerys Myk]

One of my favorite Photoshops of all time, so glad to see this again. Nerys Myk, would it be wrong for me to ask what the images deep, deep in the viewscreen are? My eyes fail me after the "Where No Man Has Gone Before" Spock, I think the next one is NuSpock, but I can't be sure. I'll understand if that needs to be a trade secret.

Yeah, NuSpock is after WNMHGB Spock. After that it's Cage Spock.After that it might have looped back to Old Spock. It's been so long I don't remember!

 

[kirkfan]

Picard: I want you all to get a good look at the giant stuffed klingon I won at the science fair!

Riker: You really think this painting Picard made looks like me?

Worf: That's the third time this week that I have to retrieve Data's cat!

Deanna: Your dart throwing is improving Worf, you almost hit the board this time!

Worf: How long do I have to pose like that, Data?

Data: Don't move. One more hour at most and I'll be done.

 

[2takesfrakes]

Worf soon realised that - contrary to common knowledge and popular belief - Captain James T. Kirk had, indeed, made an appearance on TNG, already!

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win, Leadhead!

Worf: Security Officer's Log--Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta'!

Riker: Not sure what that was, but I'm going to assume the Captain won't be back for some time.

Worf: Dibs on his chair.

Riker: But, I'm acting Captain when he's...busy.

Worf: "Dibs" is a most honored Klingon tradition. If you do not honor it, we must fight to the death.

Riker: Fine, take the chair...

Worf took the crew's games of "Hide 'n Seek" seriously.

Deanna: No use hiding it, Worf. This planet has seen some gruesome wars break out after one side accused the other of farting. So, now, they rigged something in the atmosphere to visually tell who farted.

Worf: I understand the Chief is Irish, but did you have to groom yourself into a shamrock down there?

Keiko: Hey, just deliver the damn baby and keep your commentary to yourself!

 

[Nerys Myk]

TROI: It might be time to switch to a stronger shampoo.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Later, bitches. I'll never have to see your sorry human asses again!

 

[Nerys Myk]

Neither one was seeing a sailboat.

 

[Triskelion]

T4TWLH!

Picard: Star Wars Imperial March?
Worf: No.
Picard: Stayin' Alive?
Worf: No.
Picard: Dick Dale's 'Misirlou'?
Worf: What's that?
Picard: Surf guitar song from Pulp Fiction.
Worf: Ummmmm...no.
Picard: Well, do you want cool stride music or not?
Worf: Got anything with a penny whistle?
Picard: Well actually -
Worf: Just yankin' your chain. Computer, Pulp Fiction surf guitar song.

Riker: Beverly Crusher, Nurse Ogawa, and Katherine Pulaski.
Worf: Those choices may be honorable, but foolish. Pulaski, Ogawa, and Lwaxana would be the warrior's choice.
Data: Query...Shag, Marry, or Kill?

Worf: Huh, where did everybody go?
Security Crewman: Well you know how that sexy virus has made everyone super horny? Looks like everybody's paired up and run off but you.
Worf: I don't see you with anyone either, Ensign.
Security Crewman: That's only because the Traveler's out of phase with this spacetime, sir. Oh, pleasant thoughts!

Troi: Looks as if your leisure suit is burning up with heat friction.
Worf: So?
Troi: You were supposed to set aside this quality holodeck time with Alexander, not your right arm.
Worf: Hey, I wasn't - KLINGON WARRIORS DO NOT WEAR LEISURE SUITS!

Worf: You picked a bad day to wear Luck O' the Irish boxer shorts, Mrs O'Brien.
Keiko: THEY WERE AN ANNIVERSARY PRESENT!

 

[T'Girl]

Worf: "You are fully dilated to ten centimeters, and are ready to have sex with a true warrior."

 

[Rat Boy]

Worf (thinking): "Who the hell are these people?"

Worf: "Perhaps we should try shooting at them?"

Riker: "No, that's a terrible idea. It'll only make things worse."

Data: "Sir, perhaps a concentrated phaser discharge at their primary weapons array..."

Riker: "Brilliant, Data! Let's shoot at them!"

Worf: *sigh*

Worf: "Empty champagne bottles, flower petals, discarded garments...okay, back in the turbolift. I've seen too much as it is."

Troi: "Did the water balloon do something wrong?"

Worf: "You may now give birth...after I have several drinks to forget seeing all this."

 

[Mojochi]

Thanks for the win

Captain's Personal Log: Worst wedding nightmare........ EVER!!!!!!

Picard: Henceforth, in addition to Cmdr.Riker being referred to as #1, you'll both be numbers 2 & 3, respectively. The remaining crew aboard will be subsequently numbered as well

Captain's Log: Worf sleeps with the fishes

Worf: H I P P I E S ! ! !

Troi: Oh Worf, don't be such a Herbert.

Worf: Upon further analysis, Deanna, I'm starting to think Betazoids & Klingons might not be............ Compatible.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KEIKO: You'd better not be posting this on youtube!

WORF: Please, I'm live streaming.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Thanks for the win!

Worf: Keiko..
Keiko: WHAT?
Worf: This child has pointed ears. And...arched eyebrows. And...an unbearably smug look on its face.
Keiko: Uh.
...oh, no! My secret identity as a Romulan agent has been unmasked.

Worf: Worf to Command, suspect 'Waldo' is not on the bridge, either.

Riker: Worf, bad news. That charming alien merchant Troi has been making eyes at all night? He's a chocalatier.
Worf: We must destroy him.
Riker: Ordinarily I'd say that's going too far, but whatever works.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

tftw! (I won that picture the first time too. )

Huh, I accidentally posted before writing captions, then I tried to delete it but it didn't work. Is delete broken?

ENSIGN: Psst. Captain. Does this mean we can all leave the Federation to serve in foreign armies when we feel like it and come back whenever we want?

DATA: Inquiry. Why are we all pretending to act surprised? Did we not all already know the Counselor was using extensions?

WORF: All clear.
LIEUTENANT: You just vaporized the entire bridge crew!
WORF: Like I said. All clear.

Lt Worf challenges the Commander of the Smoke People to a duel, to defend Troi's honor.

WORF: Why does yours have spikes?

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Do human babies usually have extendable mouth parts that drip acid?

 

[Triskelion]

Worf: I am Worf! Son of Mogh!
Picard: I am Jean! Son of Maurice and Yvette!
Worf: The cha'DIch should always be silent!

Riker: Looks like it needs more power to the structural integrity field.
Worf: That could risk an imbalance in its field harmonics, Commander. That might create stress fractures along the outer struts.
Riker: Not if you implemented phase differential induction coils. I believe they'll be introduced in the next class of starship. What do you think, Data?
Data: You guys know it is just Guinan's new hat, right?

Worf: Good, they all left. Now help me lower their chairs another centimeter.
Crewman: Do you really think intimidating them with your looming presence will help you get a chair?
Worf: If it doesn't I'll do what warriors do on Klingon ships.
Crewman: Wear platform boots?
Worf: And braids.
Crewman: Why wait?

Troi: Sure Worf, it was 'the Wind Dancer'. That's why it smells like racht, rokeg blood pie and Oreos.

Worf: Mrs. O'Brien, you're trying to seduce me.
Keiko: Huh?
Worf: Aren't you?
Keiko: I'M IN LABOR, YOU HELMET-HEADED GOOCHMOUND.
Guinan: Dayaaaammmmnnnn!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

After extensive tricorder scans, Worf was astonished to see that the carpet and drapes really did match.

 

[Rat Boy]

Worf: "...I knew I shouldn't have worn my good boots today."