TNG Caption This! #399: Captions of Love

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone, caption time!

First up to the plate, we have the "Signs and portents from Q" Award, goes to:

Tasha noticed that of the boxes which Q had filled with detailed accounts of all their futures...... hers was missing

Next, we have the "Whoops!" Award, going to:

RIKER: YAR! WATCH OUT FOR THAT ... trip wire.

Next, we have the "Perils of Futuristic Communication" Award, going to:

Worf: "Commander Data accidentally Facetimed the bridge when you two were..."

Next, we have the "High Tech Scanning" Award, going to:

Yar: There has to be something down there, "X" is clearly marked on my tricorder's display map.

Next, we have the "Common Ground" Award, going to:

Yar: Their heads all look like fannies! Worf, you better talk to them.

Our photoshop award, goes to:

BONES: "My god, Jim! Where are we?"

PLAY BY PLAY ANNOUNCER: "Yar slants back across the corridor, fakes out Crusher! ... only Riker can stop her! ... and Yar cuts past Riker and SCORES!!!"

COLOR ANNOUNCER: "Once again Chet, Riker proves why he's the worst defender in the game, caught flat footed staring at the runner's ass, again, instead of making the tackle!"

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, we'll take a brief break from our Character contests, so we can have a proper Valentine's Day contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: I'm so glad that you have returned to the Enterprise Beverly. Does this mean we get to send Wesley away?

Troi: Just because I called you "Bill" doesn't mean Im infected with some virus!

Worf: Lets get married!

K'Ehleyr: Yeah... about that...

Data: Intriguing. Apparently, I love myself much more than you.

First Officer's Log: Best Day Ever.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Beverly: "So, Jean-Luc, tell me about our romantic evening..."

Picard: "Yes, well, I thought we'd first start out by having some dinner with low luminosity to set the mood, followed by some stimulating conversation, afer which we'd retire to my ajoining study where I'll banter on for an hour about 13th century Andorian artifacts, then I'd have Geordi or Data interrupt it when I'm getting to the good part and tell you I have to go to the Bridge or eEgineering and fake you out with a possible romantic kiss, then leave. At which point I'll forget it ever happened for a few years and then try to bring it back up pointlessly as we're stranded on a planet, then go nowhere with it and maybe one day marry and divorce you. How's that sound?"

Beverly: "Thanks for sending my husband to his untimely death, asshole."

Data: "Intriging: Honey Nut Cherrios?"

 

[shivkala]

Picard: Personal Log-I am continuing the practice, as suggested by Counselor Troi when she commented on how I seemed to have a detached command style, of inviting my senior staff for dinner in my quarters. I only hope tonight goes differently than the last dinner, when Commander Riker had too much wine. No, wait, actually, I'm kind of hoping for a similar reaction from Dr. Crusher...

Troi: I'm not infected by this virus which makes you act drunk!

Riker: Come on, Deanna, no one sings Taylor Swift songs Karokee style in main engineering without being drunk. Except Chief Argyle. And, just between you and me, the Captain's just looking for an excuse to sack him.

Worf: What is this music?

K'Ehleyr: It's an old Earth artist, Pat Benatar's song, "Love is a Battlefield."

Worf: Perhaps I have underestimated the humans' ability to experience love as passionately as us Klingons!

Jenna D'Sora: I'm sorry, Data, did you and your finger wish to be left alone tonight?

Riker: Now, let me just turn the lights off and turn you on!

Jenna D'Sora: Data, am I your girlfriend?

Data: Of course, I do not have optic sensors for any one else. My powercell pulses only for you.

Jenna D'Sora: Then explain this:



http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[Finn]

Counselor's Log: the captain and I was at conference when I learned my mother came across the information on that transporter incident where the captain turned into a kid. The last message was from her saying she was gonna spend time with Wil. I only can hope my message reached Data in time.

 

[Rat Boy]

Just like James Bond in From Russia With Love, Beverly should have figured out she was with a fake Picard based on his wine selection.

Troi: "No, seriously, get this coffee mug out of my hair!"

Worf: "Take the oath!"

K'Ehlyer: "The marriage oath?"

Worf: "No, the Green Lantern oath...of course the marriage oath!"

Data: "Fascinating. My finger still smells of your anus."

Jenna: "Did you go around telling people that?"

Data: "They merely assumed I was speaking of the similar sounding planet."

Riker: "And this button turms me on...the lights, the lights on!"

 

[JirinPanthosa]

PICARD: Yeah, you go and sip your Pumpkin Peach Ale Beverly. I'll be over here enjoying my GOLDEN SUDS!
BEVERLY: Actually it's a double IPA, and I programmed the replicator to replace yours with water, food coloring, light carbonation and synthehol.
PICARD: Really? I couldn't tell the difference.
BEVERLY: I know you couldn't.

TROI: I'm sensing...awkwardness. Are you and that security officer...
RIKER. Umm, no?

WORF: We had sex once! That means we are spiritually bound to each other until the end of time!
K'ELYHR: Whoa! Is that really how you think Klingon romance works?

DATA: If you access my sexual settings menu, you can input your preferences for aggression levels, dominance/submission, foreplay duration, and length.

RIKER: I like my wine with a little age, if you know what I mean.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WOMAN: I'm not seeing a bed.

RIKER: Beds are for amateurs

D'SORA: Data?

DATA: Sorry, I am accessing my foreplay subroutine.

D'SORA: And?

DATA: Ah, I have found the appropriate technique. Let the foreplay commence.

TROI: Why is Yar humming the love song from "An Officer and A Gentleman"?

K'EHLEYR: I'm pregnant.

WORF: What? When did this happen????

K'EHLEYR: Oh about one year ago!

 

[2takesfrakes]

.... Thanks for the win! >: )

RIKER: "... Under the cover of night, a cotton seed is the same as a pearle."

 

[2takesfrakes]

"This is the finger with which Tasha attained The Ultimate Orgasm. >>MUAH!!!<< Unfortunately, she forbade me using it with another woman, ever again."

 

[Triskelion]

T4TWLH!

Picard: I don't know why we didn't do this years ago.
Wesley (on com): Mom when you're finished honeytrapping my new daddy ask him if I can take his dune buggy to prom.
Picard: Oh, that's right. Picard to transporter...

Troi: Are you sure doing it on the warp control panel is the only way to restore the - what did you call it?
Riker: The tachyon juice rays. And yes, otherwise we'll have a warp core breach.
Troi: You'd think Starfleet would design a better propulsion system....
Riker: I know, right?

K'Ehleyr: It is completely unreasonable to call them the biggest bitches in the galaxy.
Worf: I'm sorry, that's just how I feel about Vulcan Doctor Selar, Tarah of the Andorian Imperial Guard, and Q's wife Q. Big ol' bitches.
K'Ehleyr: Damn broken condom. I mean - you're right about everything, stud!

Jenna: I don't care if the alien women do it on 34,415 other planets, it's yucky! Now take me shopping, I need some black pumps for my coworker's dinner party and you're going too.
Data: And I thought Soong-type android positronic cybersystems were high maintenance....

Riker: Shall I replicate us some peanut butter and jelly? Or just - the jelly?
Chick: Ooh, so urbane!

 

[Nerys Myk]

CRUSHER: Barry White. A fine wine. Candlelight. Someone wants to get lucky tonight

 

[Ithekro]

DATA: Which button to push? Such a dilemma is it not? What if I were to push them all very quickly?

 

[Rat Boy]

Fake Picard: "And afterwards, I thought we'd watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta."

Beverly: "Crusher to security! The captain's been replaced by an imposter!"

 

[f14peter]

KAMALA: "Thank you, mister ...?

RIKER: "The name's Riker, Will Riker"

KAMALA: "Xenia Kamala Onatopp"

RIKER: "Onatopp?"

KAMALA: "Onatopp!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Riker: "Why Miss Grey, you have such a lovely twinkle in your eyes."

 

[Nerys Myk]

FRAKES: So, you got the Jean Grey part?

JANSSEN: Yeah, are you going for the part of Bouncing Boy?

FRAKES: Wrong company, wrong franchise, wrong team.

JANSSEN: Still, are you going for the part of Bouncing Boy?

 

[urbandefault]

Picard: So, you've never heard of a "roofie"?

Troi: Is that a phaser in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

K'Ehleyr: Pull out? That's what you said last time. ALEXANDER! GO TO BED!!

Data: It is an intriguing game, but why do they call it "Stinkfinger"?

Riker: Come in ... uh ... (What is her name? Dammit! Just keep smiling) ...

 

[2takesfrakes]

TROI: "Why aren't you Captain of this ship, Will? I don't want you tracking failure all over my carpet ... so, let's do it in your quarters, instead."

 

[shivkala]

Coming this Valentine's Day:

Riker: Kamala, I’m not a hearts and flowers kind of man, I don’t do romance. My tastes are very singular. You should steer clear of me. There’s something about you, though,and I’m finding it impossible to stay away. But I think you’ve figured that out already.

Commander William T. Riker in...