TNG Caption This! #381: Look!

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! New Contest time!

First up to the plate, we have the "Thanks Geordi" Award, going to:

Worf: "LeadHead asked me to express his appreciation to you. Christy Henshaw told him the only reason she started dating him was to get you to leave her alone."

Next, we have the "Airplane! The 14th Year!" Award, going to:

Riker: "14 years of Leadhead? Looks like I picked the wrong week to give up sniffing glue."

Next, we have the "Basics of Starship Piloting" Award, going to:

CONN: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

PICARD: Dammit, conn! Keep both hands on the console!

Next, we have the "Days of Future Voyages...." Award, going to:

Riker: No Mr. Worf, killing Rick Berman before he can write These are the Voyages will create a terrible time paradox!

Worf: It's worth the risk though, right?

Next, we have the "Collective Logic" Award, going to:

Locutus: Why does a Borg cube implement a viewscreen when we have cybernetic interfaces?
Collective: LOGIC IS IRRELEVENT.

I absolutely LOVED the Mass Effect entries, and these photoshops in particular made the grade for the Photoshop award:

Locutus: Quick! RT! RT!

Garrus: Turn your ship back from Palaven now, or I will personally come aboard and calibrate your ass with my boot!

Picard: Captain's log, supplemental: Open Bar Thursdays was not a good idea.

Riker: Just a smidge higher there lieutenant. I can't stomach watching anymore nut shots.

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

Sorry for the late start on this one, honestly, the last one had some much joy, so much humor, so much fun (also so much Mass Effect) that like a great birthday party, I just didn't want it to end. Thank you all for making this contest so special and hilarious.

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: THIS IS COMMANDER RIKER OF THE ENTERPRISE!!!

Korris: Dude, we're 5 feet from you. Don't shout.

Worf: (thinking) Move silently, get in close, then defeat the enemy.

Troi: (over comm) Troi to Lieutenant Worf, have you reconsidered discussing your feelings of aggression?

Aliens: Intruder! Kill him!

Troi: (over comm) Is this a bad time?

La Forge: The isolinear chips are in the wrong spots!

Worf: Is that a problem?

La Forge: No, not really. After "The Naked Now" we realized how silly that whole thing was and fixed it.

Picard: Lieutenant, I want to send someone qualified to deal with this. Bring Wesley up here.

Worf: You are without honor. A true warrior does not steal the cookies from the cookie jar!

 

[Nebusj]

Riker, Data, and LaForge try desperately to break into the OK GO concert upstairs at the Magic Stick in Detroit.

Michael Dorn: ``And you guys promise you're not just gonna greenscreen something in there that makes me look silly again, right?''

LaForge: ``What the ... it's an abacus back here!''

Yar: ``What? I just said I took the option to defer some of my pay in exchange for a big return when I complete my third year of service here.''

``I invoke my constitutional right to not answer questions without the presence of my ventriloquy figure.''

 

[shivkala]

Porky's: The Next Generation

Worf: Lt. Worf's personal log: I have answered that age old rhetorical question, "Where will you be when diahrrea strikes?" This is a most dishonorable situation. I must now kill my enemy and bathe in his blood to cover this up or risk bringing shame on the house of Mogh.

Worf: What is that?

Geordi: That's the warp core, Worf! Even a cadet could answer that question!

Worf: I am familiar with it, Lt. I am just surprised to see it here, given how often you eject it in the midst of battle.

Engineering Lt.: Sir, do you require the first aid kit for that burn?

Riker: I was never here. And neither were you.

Picard: Eat it, Mary!*

*A joke only those who watched last night's Walking Dead and Talking Dead are likely to get.

Things were not looking good for J'Dan on The Voice, as Worf, one of the judges, left his chair to berate one of his singers.

http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[Armored Saint]

Porky's: The Next Generation

RIKER: Hold still, man. She's comin' for it. Oh, boy. She really wants it.
GEORDI: I see throug this door Commander, I know that big Gorn woman is coming.

 

[Hutchy01]

The women's locker room aboard the enterprise needed some remodeling

Worf: Guys what was in that taco?

Geordi misunderstood Interface the VISOR and the LCARS system

Worf: Stop looking at my d*ck

 

[Armored Saint]

RIKER: You're right Captain, she looks like Macaulay Caulkin.

RIKER: "No sign of police"..."Fairly simple, common sense things"
PICARD: I sent you on that planet to make me a report report on their customs and laws, Lieutenant.
YAR: Sir, you hired me on that ship because I've been trained as a professional wrestler at the Academy...you knew I wasn't skilled at all for that job.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KLINGON: Remember that scene in Basic Instinct with Sharon Stone? Prepare for a remake!

LAFORGE: So much for "In before the lock!"

RIKER: Either she's high or that's the best Kristin Stewart impersonation I've ever seen!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Tasha: ...I said that out loud, didn't I?

Worf: Geordi? Why are you hugging the warp core?
LaForge: Every time I touch it, I touch her, Worf!

Worf: This mingolf course is without HONOR! That mountain just slide over the hole!

 

[Nerys Myk]

BUGS: Eh, what's up Doc?

WORF: Quiet, I'm hunting rabbits!

 

[Nerys Myk]

LAFORGE: Just as I thought, we've lost a hamster.

WORF: An honorable death. Songs shall be sung of his sacrifice.

 

[Schistocerca]

Worf: Worst lap dancing club......EVER!

 

[Schistocerca]

Worst lap dancing club...EVER!

Riker: Worst lap dancing club.....EVER!

 

[JirinPanthosa]

The trailer for the 2364 Porky's reboot.

WORF: It's worse than we thought, Commander! The enemy is armed with styrofoam rocks!

WORF: I will be filling in as your assistant engineer until we can reach a starbase for restaffing.
GEORDI: Are you sure you're the right person for this job?
WORF: I remember my engineering training from my academy days. ...What's that?
GEORDI: That's the engine.
WORF: Ohh. What's that?
GEORDI: That's the dilithium chamber.
WORF: Ohh. What's...
GEORDI: That's the engine again.

TASHA: What? All I'm saying is, if I were in some kind of situation where I were a prisoner and needed to in order to save the other prisoners' lives, yeah, I'd probably be willing to with a Romulan. This is all hypothetical.

WORF: Who did you just call 'Uncle Tom'?!

 

[Schistocerca]

By a process of elimination Picard had narrowed his choice of hair transplant down to two styles

 

[Triskelion]

TFTWLH!

Data: Sir, there's no such thing as a 'Rancor door.' Also, the Rancor was a fictional stop-motion animated character. Also, in a different franchise.

Riker: Anyone got a light saber?

Worf: It is time to call upon the ancient tactical teachings of Kahless: Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and Dodge!

Worf: It's not doing that flashy thing.
Geordi: Well it's plugged in.

Yar: Drugs make you feel good, Wesley.
Picard: For the last time I'm not Wesley!

Worf: Well? Is it a good day to die or not?
Witness: It depends on -
Worf: Yes or no?
Witness: That's just a figure -
Worf: YES or NO?!
Witness: ...................Yes, ok?? YES!
Worf: The defense rests.
Judge: Ok, the real attorneys have arrived, let's get started.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Worf: Kahless' beard! Is that...is that an agony booth!"
Crewman: "Eh? Oh, you're thinking of TOS. This is TNG. We're more evolved now. That's a tickle-and-cuddle booth."
Worf: "Curse you, Roddenberry!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

LAFORGE: Hey, Crewman Noname, a little help here. I haven't been an engineer that long and have no idea what half this stuff does.

 

[Smellincoffee]

LAFORGE: Hey, Crewman Noname, a little help here. I haven't been an engineer that long and have no idea what half this stuff does.

Worf: Why were you promoted again?
LaForge: Captain needed someone who could pull off rolling under the door with panache.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Worf: J'Dan, the doctor's right over there at that desk. You can't put this off forever, you know.

J'Dan: Prostate exams are without honor!

Worf: Hoo! Ha-ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Thrust!

Riker: Well, Lieutenant?

(Long pause.)

Picard: Lieutenant Yar, you will answer the first officer's question, and do it fast.

Tasha: I'm sorry, sirs. I'm afraid I don't know who wrote the book of love.