TNG Caption This! #380: OUT OF CONTROL!

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone and welcome to this very special contest! I'll explain why it is later, but first...

First up to the plate, we have the "Crossover" Award, going to:

Cyclops: Why did she have to die Charles?!

Next, we have the "Medical Malpractice" Award, going to:

Crusher: Captain! What the hell did that Pulaski woman do to my sickbay? Half of my medical equipment was ripped out and replaced by a stove to make chicken soup! No wonder why you had so many flu-related casualties recently!

Next, we have the "Take THAT continuity!" Award, going to:

O'Brien: Why do I have to go to Data's poetry readings? They're so boring!

Riker: If I have to suffer, so do you. Captain's orders: all officers must attend.

O'Brien: You know I'm a non-com, right?

Riker: Why do you think I gave you those two pips to wear, "Lieutenant"?

Next, we have the "Good Question" Award, going to:

PICARD: So, is it a window or a screen?

Next, we have the "First Contact Protocols" Award, going to:

PICARD: Wait a minute....I said to Mirasta we made the first contact with them because they clearly about to initiate warp travel...but why the hell did I make the first contact with the Edo who where only about to initiate another orgy?

And because I enjoy the fact we reject things like time, distance and continuity, I wanted to give an award to this entry:

Picard: Get a load of that Borg's implants.
Data: Resistance is fertile.
Riker: I'm sensing great joy and gratitude, Captain. From both of them.
Troi: Oh well, at least this one doesn't have flippers.

I Thought Seven was still in delta quadrant then!

Yes, but they were looking at her Spacebook profile.

Riker: ``And that is why we never tap our com badge three times.''

Thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, why is this contest starting so early? Have I suddenly changed into a reliable person? No!

Today is my TrekBBS Birthday, I've now been a member of this board for 14 years. I honestly can't believe I've been posting here for so long. I joined on a whim, and here I still am, posting nearly every day, whether it's in caption contests, line-by-lines, avatar contests or just generally posting. TrekBBS rocks!

In addition to that milestone, I realized recently that 10 contests ago, I passed the mark of having run 200 TNG Caption This! contests! It's a big deal to me that not only have I done that but the bigger deal is how many of you have come back, week after week to post and share the laughs. Thank you.

Now, as a TrekBBS teenager, I think it's time for me to start pushing back at the rules enforced by my TrekBBS Parents T'Bonz and Mutai Sho-Rin. I'll start hanging out with kids like Nerys Myk, Triskelion and Armored Saint who are trying to get me into this new thing photoshopping. (I hope I don't get into trouble) I hope my old pals Jonas Grumby and Inflatabledalek don't get mad that I'm trying new things.

If I didn't mention you by name in the above paragraph, I mean no disrespect, just being silly. To all of you, I am grateful.

And now, since this is a special moment, I hope you enjoy the new contest. Since I'm making this a little about me, I'm going to give some suggested ideas. You are under absolutely no obligation to use these.

1. Make fun of LeadHead (I'm always fair game as long as it's in good taste)
2. Mass Effect (LeadHead's favorite gaming franchise, good for photoshopping too, hint hint )
3. Worf (Favorite Trek Character of all time)

The new contest is an assortment of photos from waaay back in time, from the first 5 contests I judged.

Thanks for reading! Thanks for 210 great contests! Looking forward to the next 210!

Thanks again and enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Worf: LeadHead's social life is more successful than yours?!!

Worf: Thank you for catching him. Now, do away with him so I may be promoted.

Riker: Wait, what?!

Stewart: Jonathan...

All: (in unison) Thirty years in the Royal Shakespeare Company for this! WE KNOW!

Riker: Wait, it might be a friendly Borg!

Worf: How is it that you weren't the one assimilated?

Locutus: Hmmm... they're on the battle bridge, anybody think they're about to separate the saucer section?

Borg Collective: Nah.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Worf: "LeadHead asked me to express his appreciation to you. Christy Henshaw told him the only reason she started dating him was to get you to leave her alone."

 

[inflatabledalek]

Congratulations on your birthday LH (and the namecheck!).

Worf: Don't worry Dalek, I'm sure you'll win a prize this week.

Dalek: But the gag about the woman who looked like she was wearing her own clothes was pure gold! The best I had! I've shot my bolt!

Worf: It was a bit rubbish though.

Frakes: OK... OK... I won't try and direct ever again.

Picard: Whoa! Worf, how do you manage this every day without a chair?

Worf: Badly. I've been meaning to talk to you about that...

Riker: No Mr. Worf, killing Rick Berman before he can write These are the Voyages will create a terrible time paradox!

Worf: It's worth the risk though, right?

Locutus: You have changed the Battle Bridge set, this poor continuity is illogical.

 

[Hutchy01]

Thanks for the win(s) (and well done on 14 years!)

Guy in Background: 'and he was all MAKE IT SO NUMBAH WAHN'

Worf: Captain, the Piñata is over here...

Picard:“...to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee.”

Dorn: But we all hated DS9 and as the Vulcans say 'The needs of the many...'

Collective: We Are the Borg. You Will be Assimilated. Missing TNG is Futile.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Borg Collective: "Worst Trekkie man-cave we've ever seen."

 

[Hutchy01]

Thought of a joke based on this...

Worf: Call that a Penis?!

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Damn it, I thought you could use text colors. That would make mine better.

WORF: You'll never find a girlfriend Geordi! You should just give up!

(+2 Renegade)

RIKER: Worf, do you mind getting me down from here?
WORF: (Tickles Riker)

(+2 Renegade)

WORF: And disable inertial dampeners...and...HARD LEFT TURN!

(+2 Renegade)

(RT)

WORF: (Vaporizes Locutus)

(+20 Renegade)

LOCUTUS: Is this the best place to hang this picture? I don't think it goes well with all the dark steel beams.

(+20 Interior Designer)

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: I'm sure those two ladies aren't laughing at your pick up lines.

WORF: This rabbit is a lot more clever than I thought.

CONN: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

PICARD: Dammit, conn! Keep both hands on the console!

WORF: It's the Captain, should I switch the setting to stun?

RIKER: Give me a moment to think about that.

LOCUTUS: I guess you could say this a Borg's eye view?

(crickets)

LOCUTUS: Tough crowd.

 

[Avro Arrow]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead! And happy fourteenth! For you:

Worf: Geordi, I am sorry about Ashley, but it *is* just a game!

Worf: It appears the Cerberus ambushes are getting slightly less clever than when we last met.

Picard: What the hell *is* that, Data?

Data: It appears LeadHead actually started a new caption contest early, which has caused a rip in the fabric of spacetime!

Riker: No, Worf, let the Rachni Queen live. I have this strange sense she may be useful to us in the sequel.

Locutus: Quick! RT! RT!

 

[Mutai Sho-Rin]

Leadhead, we must have joined the board at almost the same time. I must confess that your caption contests are a highlight for me, both as a member and as a moderator. I suspect most of the TNG participants feel the same, whether they participate or just lurk. Keep it up, my friend.

 

[Armored Saint]

Happy 14th!

GEORDI: Romulan ale should be illegal.
WORF: It is.

WORF: Geordi? Are you all right?
GEORDI: That LeadHead dude and his friends made fun of me for years about my problems with women and now they're celebrating that.

Scratch scratch
RIKER:Oh yeah Geordi...yeah...it's the right spot!

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Geordi? Are you all right?
GEORDI: That LeadHead dude and his friends made fun of me for years about my problems with women and now they're celebrating that.

WORF:Wait... the new contest is up? Where's a computer? I got some new loser LaForge jokes to post!

GEORDI:sigh

 

[Triskelion]

LeadHead, congratulations and looking forward to the coming good times ahead! Your contests provide endless hours of mirth and LOLs, too bad you don't hear all the laughs because they are there! (That goes for all the posters, too)! Thanks for the shoutout (& the W)! Here's to your next anniversary.

This one's for you:

Worf: So, Leadhead, don't you think you should have won one of these things by now?

Beverly: It's a theory I'm working on about returning blood to the brain to enhance rational thought.
Riker: Must...dump...Lwaxana Junior....

Picard: Captain's log, supplemental: Open Bar Thursdays was not a good idea.

Riker: Don't waste your fire, Worf. Clearly these Borg have some kind of sophisticated chain of command in place.
Borg Behind Worf: I'm lactating coathangers!

Borg: EIGHT OF THREE, QUARTERNARY PAGE OF UNIMATRIX FOUR-ELEVENTHS, YOU HAVE NOT RETURNED THE REMOTE WITHIN ARM'S REACH OF THE VIEWING POSITION, BUT PLACED IT ON A DOILY ON THE SIDEBOARD IN THE STARBOARD GALLERY. YOU WILL BE TERMINATED IMMEDIATELY.

Locutus: He's got one effing job to do. Somebody get me Lactato.

 

[Mojochi]

Happy 14!

Cristy: ...and then he said, "Once you go blind, you go out of your mind"

Worf: I still have my ritualistic suicide knife in my quarters, if that helps

Riker: Remind me to bring up lackluster reaction speed on your next performance evaluation.

Captain' s log: This ship can do everything from piercing a planet's tectonic plates to making me a cup of tea, but buckling my ass to a chair? Good luck

Riker: Just a smidge higher there lieutenant. I can't stomach watching anymore nut shots.

Locutus: My battle bridge is still darker

Guinan: Tribble juice?

 

[shivkala]

Happy birthday, Leadhead! I've been here 10 1/2 years myself. Oh and thanks for the win!

shivkala: Blah, blah, blah, Geordi's got no game with the women. Worf's awesome. Mass Effect is the best video game ever. Now, I just need to sit back and wait a week until Leadhead gives me a win!

Worf: Security Officer's Log, who knew Wesley was secretly biding his time until he could lure all of us who made fun of him into beaming down to a planet he set-up as a deathtrap for all of us?

Picard: The Prime time-line Kirk is going to be in Star Trek 3? Conn, reverse course! Geordi, prepare the red matter! All hands, brace for time travel, we're going to this new timeline!

Worf: Touching a Klingon's arm while he is brandishing a weapon is considered to be either an act of great dishonor or a sign that you are ready to mate. Which one is this, Commander?

Locutus: While I appreciate the Borg's efforts to utilize 3D in their displays, I am upset that they charged me extra for the 3D eyepiece and then they expect me to return it when I'm done viewing the display.

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Tell me you're not trying to correct the aim of a Klingon warrior!

 

[Armored Saint]

WORF:...if she let you bit her hand, she means yes for SEX and MARRIAGE...
GEORDI: I'd have better clues if I asked to Data....

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Frakes: "Ooooh! My head is pounding! I feel like I'm going to throw up!"
McFadden: "Quiet! If you're not willing to suffer for your art, you shouldn't be an actor in the first place!"

Worf: "Don't be ashamed! Just do what I do whenever I get rejected. Tell everyone she turned out to be a lesbian."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Riker: "14 years of Leadhead? Looks like I picked the wrong week to give up sniffing glue."