TNG Caption This! #352: Time Capsule: Part 3

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone!

First up to the plate, we have the "Unauthorized use of ships equipment" Award, going to:

Riker: Wesley, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, stop taking selfies of the Enterprise using the ships probes.

Next, we have the "Better living through chemistry" Award, going to:

Worf: "Aphrodisiac?"

Pulaski: "Stimulant. Prepare to have your Klingon world rocked."

Next, we have the "Hope she didn't see that..." Award, going to:

Data: It's your parents Sarjenka..... Wait.... never mind

Next, we have the "He is going to be so surprised!" Award, going to:

Wesley: He's still hungover after his little date last night

Miles: Should we tell him he just got K'Ehleyr pregnant?

Pulaski: Nah!

Next, we have the "Confusion" Award, going to:

This is Michael Dorn, let me talk to my agent....What do you mean "Michael who?"

While this next photoshop award may ask the question "Too Soon?" I thought it was funny and made me hope even more that the 239 people aboard that plane come home safely, whether it be by safe landing, found on an island or beamed back by the Enterprise. Our winner is:

Riker: "What the f... ?"

Riker: Commander's Log: We're rendezvousing with one of the Enterprise's sister ships commanded by an old friend of Captain Picard's. I figure it'll be 15 minutes before it explodes, killing everyone on board.

2 entries battled in my brain again and again for this one, so they both win!

DATA: Thank you Lieutenant Worf! And this concludes our presentation about how Saint Patrick's Day is celebrated on Qo'noS. Any comments Chief?

Wesley: I get the gauntlet of warriors with pain sticks thing. But why did he keep shouting "Discommodate me, Svetlana"?

Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to all of our participants!

And now, we continue with our Time Capsule series and into Season 3, taking some images from captions past and giving them a second go in this contest.

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Picard to Engineering, do we really need two warp nacelles?

Worf: Yes, I am the Captain of the Enterprise. Who's this Picard guy?

Wil Wheaton: LeadHead! Why did you put this picture up a second time?!

LeadHead: Sorry! I thought that I would give the people what they want!

La Forge: Rev the thrusters, Data. We're gonna race these guys!

Guinan: Lal! Put him down!

Riker: Lets not be too hasty...

Data: Commander!

Riker: Uh-oh.

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the win

Picard: ...Worf, now beam back my cup of Earl Grey. It should be fabulously hot by now

Wheaton: Why are you dressed like Beverly...and how did you get me in this old costume I haven't seen in twenty five years?

Parsons: *slaps* Shut up, Wesley!

]

 

[JirinPanthosa]

PICARD: Damn it, the ship we were sent to find exploded. Why does this ALWAYS HAPPEN?!

WORF: *sniff* Oh, you showered?
WOMAN: Only this morning.
WORF: BAH! Come back in a week.

BEVERLY: You're my son! *slap* Brother! *slap* Son! *slap* Brother!
WESLEY: Holy crap, what did Picard do to you?

GEORDI: Chief Engineer's log. I am composing a message to Starfleet: Our shuttles look like they were made out of cardboard for a middle school play, and it's starting to get embarrassing. If you don't redesign them soon, no alien will ever take us seriously again.

DATA: Commander Riker. I believe by human tradition I will now need to procure a shotgun, but I will need your command codes to override the replicator safeties.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Wesley: "Again, Mom! Slap me again!" *Whap!* "Again!"
Beverly: "But, Wesley--"
Wesley: "If this is what I'm going to get every time I hit on a girl, I want to learn to love it!"

LaForge: "Crap. Even if I win this race, I'm still gonna be known as 'the guy driving the dork-mobile.'"

Guinan: "Easy, Lal! He didn't mean any offense. Anytime he tries to get flirty, he just comes off as smarmy. He can't help it!"

 

[T'Girl]

LaForge: "Councilor Troi, your super-sized turbo vibrator has arrived."

Deanna: "Thank for letting me (and everyone on the bridge) know that."

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD (o c) Slap the Boy! Line up here for Slap the Boy! Only two credits!

(sotto voco) Data, replicate more tickets, demand is greater than I expected.

GUININ: Lal, we don't use money! He doesn't have to pay!

DORN: Cleavage or under-boob, I fricking love this job!

PICARD: I really hate it when shivkala's captions are right.

 

[Nerys Myk]

GEORDI: I gotta bad feeling about this.

 

[Armored Saint]

Qapla' Leadhead!

GUINAN: Relax Lal, it's just a bad hair day for the Commander.

WORF: QAPLA'

BEVERLY: QAPLA'

NECHAYEV (os): Jean-Luc, my shuttlecra.....BOUM!
PICARD: QAPLA'

GEORDI: We outdistanced them!
DATA (os): QAPLA'

 

[Nerys Myk]

GUININ: Careful, Lal. The servos in your arms aren't designed to handle that much weight.

RIKER: Hey!!!!!!

 

[inflatabledalek]

Captain's Log: Stardate 43456.4: I'm not saying Matt Smith blowing up all those Daleks' as he started to regenerate was really over done, but we can still see the effect light years away four months later.

Lady 1: You do realise Q went here first, right?

Worf: After three year's of only being surrounded by Riker's sloppy seconds I don't mind.

inflatabledalek: Well, it was nice to meet Marina Sirtis, what a nice woman. I didn't bother getting the autograph of the bloke who played Picard's clone though, I mean, that movie must have destroyed his career, there's no way he will ever be more famous than her. I can't see there being any way he can create an industry of playing bald angry guys raised in underground prisons.


THE FUTURE: YOU PAID FOR THE WRONG AUTOGRAPH
*SLAP*

Geordi: I'm beginning to regret trying this "Dogging" thing...

Frakes: All that stuff I had you do on the casting couch... don't repeat it here.

 

[Armored Saint]

**Slap**
RIKER (os): Next!

**Slap**
RIKER (os): Next!

**Slap**
RIKER (os): Next!

**Slap**
RIKER (os): Next!

**Slap**
RIKER (os): Okay, you had enough, let the others enjoy it too!

**Slap**
RIKER (os): I SAID IT WAS ENOUGH FOR YOU!

 

[Mojochi]

Thanks for the pick

Geordi: Either pass or drop back, Douchebag. Quit hiding in my blind spot

Data: But Geordi, I thought your visor allowed you to not be blind any...

Geordi: STFU Data

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win, Leadhead!

Wesley: Ow! Mom! Isn't there an easier and less painful way to clean the chocolate off my face?

Beverly: I'm sure there is, now hold still while I slap the rest of it away.

Data: What seems to be the trouble?

Guinan: Lal kissed Riker over here and immediately started spouting out warnings.

Lal: Warning! Norton Utilities 2366 has detected multiple viruses!

Worf: I shall call you "Tasha," and I shall call you, "Troi."

Picard: Captain's Log, supplemental...Worf has successfully proven that engineers are not the only gold-shirted sexually frustrated crew members on board.

PICARD: I really hate it when shivkala's captions are right.

Picard: Captain's Log, In order to find something good coming out of this tragedy, I have come to the conclusion that Wesley is now my oldest friend. I recommend him, immediately, for the captaincy of any remaining Enterprise-D sister ship available.

 

[Armored Saint]

GEORDI: Shuttle nine to Enterprise, we just found the son of a bitch who sold us this Fisher Price piece of shit!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Worf: "I am sorry, ladies, but a human female could never compare with a Klingon female."
Blonde: "We understand. But...could two human females compare with a Klingon female?"
Worf: "Now that is an interesting question!"

Lal: "So, these are 'moobs'?"
Riker: "Ouch!"

 

[Nebusj]

``Or was it that they're supposed to press the red button second?''

``Personal log. I continue to travel into alternate timelines. In this one, Star Fleet is the Federation's primary arm for making Van Halen videos.''

The slap ripped open Wesley's skin and revealed the delicious lemon pudding underneath!

``Stupid wing mirror's way too big for what we need.''

Lal: ``They told me he was bad, but I knew he was sad. That is why I fell for the leader of the pack.''
Data: ``Fascinating … Lal, you have already far exceeded my mastery of the Shangri-Las.''

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Guinan: Lal, what in blazes are you doing?

Lal: I am attempting to test my theory that Commander Riker is French.

Riker: Lal, I already told you, I'm from Alaska. I'm not French.

Lal: Okay, okay. But you do kiss that way. And you smell like cheese.

[

Blonde: Worf, we're here to help you make a sandwich.

Worf: I have already eaten today.

Brunette: Not that kind.

 

[Armored Saint]

DORN: Forget Roddenberry, I'M THE BOSS!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Women: Okay, okay, Worf, we get it, you're the best, the manliest there is. Now can you PLEASE let our boyfriends out of the damned Targ pits?