TNG Caption This! #351: Time Capsule: Part 2

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! Lets get to the winners!

First up to the plate, we have the "Exclusive Organization" Award, going to:

Riker:It doesn't matter what we do sir, I don't think they're going to let us enter this caption contest

Next, we have the "Temporal Incursion" Award, going to:

Riker: We've come back from caption contest 351... your captions will be terrible and you won't win anything! Come up with some better ones!

Turbo Riker: Considering all the effort it must have taken to build a time machine, just using it to give us this message suggests a real paucity of ambition doesn't it?

Riker: The caption contest is the most interesting thing you're going to do all week.

Next, we have the "Warrior Focus" Award, going to:

By Kahless's hammer, I will avenge - ooh, Snickers minis!

Next, we have the "Mystery Solved" Award, going to:

It took years, but Picard finally recognized the Enterprise computer's voice.

Next, we have the "Human Resources" Award, going to:

RODDENBERRY (OS): No, no! When I said we were terminating her, I didn't mean literally!
MCFADDEN: Wait, what?

2 Photoshops had me going back and forth, so they're both winners!

Don't EVER deny access to The Picard.

PICARD: Numbah One, would you stop staring at yourself in my head and say your fucking override code?

Captain's Log: "Recommend to Starfleet ditching the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy. Replicator usage and sickbay reports render the topic moot. As do the complaints from Riker's neighbours."

PICARD: Damn, I've forgotten my password.
RIKER: Don't worry, all our security systems are designed to be easily hacked by opening the panel and moving a couple of chips around.

Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated!

And now, we shall continue our Time Capsule series, heading into TNG's second season with some images from contests past.... in HD!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: Whoa, it's just like that drug trip I saw in that movie when I was on that drug trip!

Worf: Thank you. This will be the easiest arrest ever. Take her away.

Data: Nice to meet you too. I would advise that you reconsider taking a walk near the active volcano.

Data: Did anyone remember to turn the holodeck safeties on?

Worf: And if the pizza takes more than 30 minutes to arrive it's free?!

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: That's one ugly ship.

WORF: There is no such thing as Klingon cooties! So stop doing that!

DATA: Good bye, sorry we couldn't help. It's a Prime Directive thing,

GEORDI: I hate a Klingon who can't hold his blood wine.

This is Michael Dorn, let me talk to my agent....What do you mean "Michael who?"

 

[Armored Saint]

TFTW

 

[Armored Saint]

DATA: Good bye, sorry we couldn't help. It's a Prime Directive thing,

DYING ALIEN (OS): Seek out new life and new civilizations my ass!

WORF: Two Risian hookers and a bag of Orion coke!

 

[LeadHead]

DATA: Good bye, sorry we couldn't help. It's a Prime Directive thing,

DYING ALIEN (OS): Seek out new life and new civilizations my ass!

Data: Just because we found you doesn't mean we care!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Wesley (excitedly): "Oh! Oh! I've read about this in my Theoretical Science textbooks! We've reached the physical edge of our own universe, and our counterparts in a mirror universe have brought their Enterprise to the edge of their universe at the same moment we have!"
Riker: "Really? Couldn't it just be another Galaxy-class ship in our universe?"
Wesley (sighs dejectedly): "I suppose it could. Let me try the radio..."

Data: "Wow! Once you get past the searing heat and overwhelming sulfurous stench, this is one hell of a view!"

Worf: "What am I wearing? I am certain you have the wrong number!"

 

[shivkala]

Riker: Commander's Log: We're rendezvousing with one of the Enterprise's sister ships commanded by an old friend of Captain Picard's. I figure it'll be 15 minutes before it explodes, killing everyone on board.

Worf: The Captain would like to see you, regarding an ethics violation. What are you doing?

Pulaski: Stimulant. I feel a lecture coming on.

Data: Intriguing. Apparently I can see into the past of alternate timelines. This is Vulcan, circa stardate 2258.42. Hey, I can see Spock's mother from here, "Hi Spock's mother," and she's gone.

Pulaski: What is it with this ship? I thought the synthetic man was bad, but a wimpy Klingon? Am I the manliest person onboard?

Worf: I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you the Federation does not use money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a lifetime as a Klingon. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my Alexander go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and, in Kahless' name, I will kill you.

 

[Armored Saint]

Even the mature women will need the famous injections in the 24th century...

RIKER: Yes Enterprise, this angle makes you look fat.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Worf: "I am sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, Doctor, but I invited you here only for the tea ceremony, nothing else."
Pulaski: "We'll talk about that after these Venus drugs kick in."

 

[JirinPanthosa]

RIKER: Enterprise to Yamato. Enterprise to Yamato.
YAMATO COMMANDER: Oh crap, it's the Enterprise! Don't respond!
YAMATO CAPTAIN: Yamato to Enterprise, this is the Captain.
YAMATO COMMANDER: You fool! Now we're going to get blown up to show everyone how dangerous the situation is!

WORF: You don't have to...
PULASKI. No, I have to drink the poison. I want to live like Klingon people. I want to do what ever Klingon people do. Want to drink with Klingon people. Want to drink with Klingon people like you.
WORF: I'll see what I can do.

DATA: Good night moon! Good night lava! Good night toxic dust! Good night volcanos! Good night ash! Good night corpses!

O'BRIEN: Worf, if this is your idea of fun, God help whoever goes to your bachelor party.

WORF: It's something called the 'Fashion police'.
RIKER: Everyone, RUN!

 

[Armored Saint]

RIKER: Enterprise to Yamato. Enterprise to Yamato.
YAMATO COMMANDER: Oh crap, it's the Enterprise! Don't respond!
YAMATO CAPTAIN: Yamato to Enterprise, this is the Captain.
YAMATO COMMANDER: You fool! Now we're going to get blown up to show everyone how dangerous the situation is!

RIKER: By the way, Ensign Black-dude-with-a-red-shirt, take the helm, Wesley has to do his homework.

 

[Honorable Ensign]

Data: Goodbye, Sauron. Thank you for the blue palantir.

 

[Finn]

Wesley: He's still hungover after his little date last night

Miles: Should we tell him he just got K'Ehleyr pregnant?

Pulaski: Nah!

 

[Nerys Myk]

Wesley: He's still hungover after his little date last night

Miles: Should we tell him he just got K'Ehleyr pregnant?

Pulaski: Nah!

Geordi: Or we could tell him the truth, that Riker did.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WES: If the idea of eating gagh didn't already disgust me, this would do the trick.

 

[Nebusj]

``Captain … we've got reruns.''

``29.5 psi? No wonder I'm feeling run down. Worf, be a dear and plug the bicycle pump into my left ear, would you?''
``… What?''

``Greetings, giant Roger Dean album cover!''

``And this was the ancient Klingon ritual of Falling Drunkenly Over An Ikea Bookshelf And Claiming It Picked The Fight, so we can all attest that this was a thing, which happened.''

``It's somebody sending us a fax.''

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Amanda Holdme? Let me check. Is there Amanda Holdme here?

 

[Finn]

Data: Aside from some different configurations, it's the Enterprise.

Worf: (OS) we are getting an audio message. They seem to be having problems.

Riker: Play it

*staticky* …immedi…her…

Riker: Clear it up, Data

Data: Clearing it up, Sir

I'm hoping we went back far enough in time. You would be wise to kick off Pulaski. She was horrible during Sub Rosa. Please, for the sake of the Federation, kick her off!

 

[Armored Saint]

DATA:...and now Worf, son of Mogh, to complete your initiation ritual, you will have to kiss my feet.
WORF: Aye sir!
PULASKI: Finally, I'm no more interested to be a permanent crewmember of the Enterprise, cancel my initiation.