TNG Caption This! #351: Time Capsule: Part 2

[Armored Saint]

NECHAYEV (os):...please Worf, son of Mogh, call me sweet Alynna, not Admiral...and what are you wearing Worf, son of Mogh...
WORF: My Starfleet uniform...with my Klingon baldric...and a phaser...uh...
NECHAYEV (os): Tell me more!
WORF: Bit'ch please, you know everything about that, grrr!
NECHAYEV (os): Hmm, I love it!

DORN: Could you tell to Jill Jacobson she can find me in the room 727?

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: Bridge to Ten Forward, we've found Guinan's hat.

Pulaski: If you won't let me operate on your face, I'm just going to have to start taking something for my gag reflex.
Worf: Now that was unnecessary.
Pulaski: "What your doctor said to your mother on your birthday right before he discommodated her?"
Worf: Please stop.
Pulaski: I bet your mother took one look at you and named the afterbirth.
Worf: I'm going to find a nice quiet war zone to serve in.
Pulaski: Just don't violate the Geneva convention - with that face!

It's at times like this I wish father had engineered me with flame retardant genitalia.

Pulaski: You'll want to stand back. Next comes the Klingon ceremonial Fart Lighting of Ascension.

Hello, room service? Got any worms?

 

[Mojochi]

Riker: If there's another me onboard, I hope he's well groomed

Pulaski: Instant beer goggles... Why do you ask?

Data: It's your parents Sarjenka..... Wait.... never mind

Data: Did anybody stop to think what we would do with him if he did not die?

Sigmund Freud: (Over Phone) Kill zem. Kill zem all

Worf: Well, you don't gotta tell me twice

 

[Armored Saint]

 

[inflatabledalek]

Thanks for the win Leadhead, glad to see my time travel intervention worked.

Riker: U.S.S... Yamato? Really? Will the Starship Ideon by flying up next?

Pulaski:It'll help me cope with the piss poor remastering on the season 2 blu rays.

Data: Why yes, I do have blue balls. Why do you ask?

Data: I left Tasha walking like that for a week.

O'Brien: That's... just inappropriate.

Dorn: Someone has stolen my costume and taken it home with them? No, I've no idea who would do that.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard (OS): "Dammit, Riker, you say 'Yamato'; I say 'Yamahto'--let's call the whole thing off!"

Sarjenka (OS): "One saving grace: Since all this crap started, not one Jehovah's Witness!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the log entry!

Data: "Helm still refuses to respond, sir. We are still locked in orbit around the planet Reflectonia."
Riker: "Stupid Bynars! The Enterprise computer could do with a sense of vanity, they said!"

Worf: "There is no dishonor in admitting weakness, Doctor. I too have to take an inoculation each time I drink the Earth beverage, Sunny Delight."

Data: "Is that...? I do believe it's Anakin Skywalker and Obi Wan Kenobi... Ooooh! That's gotta hurt!"

Data: "At this point in the ceremony, I believe that we are supposed to perform the Klingon rite of B'Uk'Ake"

"Security Chief log Stardate..."
"The number you have dialled is not in service. Please hang up and dial again."
"This planet's telecommunications infrastructure is without honour."

 

[Random_Spock]

Worf: *dials up room service*

Hello, I'd like to order some Klingon Ale with a side of roast beast...

Person on the other line: *busy signal...*

Worf: *rips phone out of wall and throws it*

 

[GeorgeKirk]

"My uniform and a silver baldric, why?"

 

[Armored Saint]

Welcome to the Sickbay of the Starship NCC-1701-D USS-Enterprise.
To access to our dirty phone service with one of our personnel, except Crewman Martinez, enter your credit card number right now.
To talk with Crewman Martinez:
- Press 1 if you're a Pharmaceutical Rep. Please note that if you're not really a Pharmaceutical Rep, Crewman Martinez will make you listen a cheap remake of Mike Oldfield's Tubular Bells for at least five minutes.
- Press 2 if you want to take an appointment. Please not that you will have to listen a cheap remake of Mike Oldfield's Tubular Bells for at least five minutes.
- Press 3....

 

[shivkala]

Telemarketer: Hello, is this Worf Sonofmogh?
Worf: Yes...
Telemarketer: Because you are an honorable customer and your business is important to us, we would like to extend an offer to you to switch to our new subspace friends and family plan, which should save you money on all the subspace calls you make.
Worf: *thinking to himself* They always call right before I'm about to sit down and enjoy a nice dinner of live Gagh!

 

[Armored Saint]

WORF: Why don't I wanna talk to you? Because slasher movies are without honor! Next time you want to call me, read about Baba Yaga or Fek'lhr before, you masked petaQ!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Pulaski: "Gagh. The only food that looks better coming out than it does going in."

 

[JirinPanthosa]

WORF: You don't have to...
PULASKI. No, I have to drink the poison. I want to live like Klingon people. I want to do what ever Klingon people do. Want to drink with Klingon people. Want to drink with Klingon people like you.
WORF: I'll see what I can do.

Ever since I wrote this caption I've had the urge to write out the entire song parody, then record it and splice it up with scenes from Matter of Honor.

Hunt some targ with a bat'leth
Fight a battle to the death
Drink bloodwine and eat some gakh
Call your neighbor a p'tach
But still you'll never get it right
Cause when you're laying in bed at night
Watching maggots climb the wall
If you called your ship you could stop it all yeah

Never live like Klingon people
Never do whatever Klingon people do
Never wail like Klingon people
Never watch your honor slide out of view
And then growl, and fight, and screw
Because there's nothing else to do!

 

[shivkala]

Worf: No, you hang up first. No, you. I'm not hanging up first. Okay, okay, we'll do it together on three: one, two, three. You didn't hang up either! No, I say, "three," and we both hang up then. Ready? Okay: one, two, three. You're still on, too! Okay, I love you, but, I'm really going to hang up this time, no, really...no, really...

 

[Armored Saint]

WORF: My name is Jean-Louhk Picah and I'm in my ready room, sucker!

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Hello, Front Desk? While I was out, someone broke into the minibar and drank all the liquor.

 

[Roddenberry]

Riker: Wesley, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, stop taking selfies of the Enterprise using the ships probes.

Data stopped abruptly, realising one more step would take him through a matte painting.

PBS/Public Announcemnet Worf: Here we see Dr Pulaski administering Cordrazine safely, to help with a minor heart ailment, but too many kids today are using it as a means to get high and violent. Please, just say NO to drugs.

Dr. Pulaski: Worf, how could you, after your PBS stint, you, a drug user.
Worf: I'm without honour...so what can I do to get another 10cc's of cordrazine?

Worf: Hello, is this narcotics anonymous, can you please tell where my local meeting place is.[mumbling on line] Ten Forward on alternate Wednesdays, I'll have to re-arrange my duty shifts. [more mumbling] Run by Keiko you say, explains the botany degree...

 

[Armored Saint]

RIKER (os): Hey Worf, WHAAASSSUUUUUP?
WORF: Budweiser is without honor, sir!

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Worf: " No I do not want to pay $7.99 a minute, Thank you and good bye"