Riker: Deanna says our phasers are just surrogate penises. Picard: What's that Number One? I wasn't listening, my power cell has gone dead. Crush: This will relieve the pressure from bun tension. Yar: Got anything for blonde syndrome? Crush: For blondes, certainly. Wesley: Sirs, I'd really rather not judge who has the smallest bulge, and I resent being summoned as the "resident expert."