TNG Caption This! 308: The day LeadHead broke the server

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by The Illusive Man, Mar 17, 2013.

  1. Holdfast

    Holdfast Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    17 Cherry Tree Lane
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    RIKER: OK, got them all written down? Good. Run along now and get everyone's drinks.



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    DATA (observing the others): So it's true; some men really do just want to watch the world burn.



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    FERENGI: How do you like my Worf hand puppet? If I wiggle my fingers, I can make him talk.



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    TROI: No Captain, THIS is a facepalm.
     
  2. Kick the Can

    Kick the Can Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Click Pic 2 Kill - Triskelion
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    Worf: Hmm, perhaps it was not a good idea to kill Steve Jobs in that alternate timeline.
     
  3. Kirby

    Kirby Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Alt: 5280
    It seemed like an odd choice for Beverly to chose an adaptation of the late 20th century movie Major League for her next play.

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    Riker/Roger Dorn: "I want a word with you here Lou, it says right here in my contract that I don't have to do any calastenics that I don't feel are necessary."


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    Picard occasionally like to join Security in their rounds. Unfortunately being directly beneath the rehersal hall, at that exact moment, was just wrong place/wrong time.
     
  4. Mojochi

    Mojochi Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
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    Worf: In the Klingon version.... the birds are angrier

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    Captain's Log: I really need to think about transferring Ensign Gomez, before she can ruin my snazzy velour jacket

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    Picard: The Nexus, gentlemen. Number One, I never want to hear the word Risa come out of your fat face again

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    Ferengi: No DaiMon, I am Worf's bitch now. You will have to win me from him in battle

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    Riker: Don't worry, I'll get relieved of duty before I let Jellico make you cover up that fabulous rack with a uniform
     
  5. jep

    jep Captain Captain

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    Southeast USA
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    Neither security guard could believe what they were seeing... a Ferengi, turning a Klingon into his own personal hand puppet.


    .
     
  6. Mysterion

    Mysterion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    SB-31, Daran V
    Patrick Stewart (to self): Bruce Willis got famous doing this kind of crap? Remember the mortgage payment, remember the mortgage...
     
  7. The Orange Monster

    The Orange Monster Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Finn
    Thanks for the win!

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    Picard: I know it has been hard losing Wil. It hasn't been easy for me either, not to mention losing Beverly as well.

    Troi: Only if I agreed to take the helm at Veridian III. I bet we wouldn't be here in the Delta Quadrant chasing those pesky maquis


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    *few days later*

    Picard and Geordi: Warp Particles!

    Chakotay: *sigh*
     
  8. Kick the Can

    Kick the Can Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Worf: It says here that Commander William Riker did not click on any Facebook affiliate links this year and all deleted photos from the past twenty years are being auto-reposted.

    Riker: Fucking Zuckerborg.

    Worf: Nice rainbow suspenders. I did not know you had a Mork from Ork phase.


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    Captain's log supplemental: Next time add a plumber to the crew who isn't descended from cultures with time-and-a-half holidays every day of the year.


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    Picard: Watch out for snakes.


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    Lieutenant Snark: Sexually harass much Umax Boy?
    Lieutenant Rack: I swear, sometimes it's like he doesn't even watch interstellar porn.


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    Picard: Is it brain freeze?
    Troi: Yes. It is brain freeze. From my invisible chocolate sundae.
    Picard: Perhaps you should slow down.
    Troi: Idiot.
     
  9. The Orange Monster

    The Orange Monster Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Finn
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    Worf: ....At 0530 hours, the Xyran Ambassador broke into Guinan's stash. At 0602 hours, Ensign M'pok accident set off the security alarm in the Science labs...

    Riker: There's nothing on that padd, is there?
     
  10. Dr. San Guinary

    Dr. San Guinary Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Mr. Laser Beam is in the visitor's bullpen
    With apologies to Karnac...

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    Troi: A nail, a board, and a redshirt.

    (opens envelope)

    Troi: Name something that's hammered, something that's sawed, and something that's screwed.
     
  11. Zombie Cheerleader

    Zombie Cheerleader JJ Abraaaaains Premium Member

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    Nerys Myk
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    WORF: Hold on, I gotta take this.

    Transfer to DS9 approved.

    WORF: Ha! Later you fat, fur-faced jerk. I'm out here!

    Please report for duty aboard station Deep Space Nine in two weeks.

    WORF: Damn, I should really learn to hold back until I've read the entire message.
     
  12. Kick the Can

    Kick the Can Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Worf: Rake, stack, steam heat, kick ball change and jazz hands? This dance is without honor!
     
  13. Kick the Can

    Kick the Can Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Worf: It says here that the Enterprise D's stardrive section was destroyed and the saucer section crash landed on the surface of the planet Veridian III.

    Riker: Wikipedia?

    Worf: Yes.

    Riker: Does it say anything about Captain Riker?

    Worf <tapping keys>: No.
     
  14. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    LeadHead, TFTW. :)

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    Try as she might, Troi could never remember to hit "reply" instead of "reply all."



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    Worf: "Damn, she hit 'reply all' again."
     
  15. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
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    When the Enterprise crew played hide-and-seek, the Ferengi trainee hid in Picard's up-to-now unknown "wax museum salon."



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    Captain's log, Stardate 45345.6. Someone started a sentence with "I sense you're unhappy" in front of Deanna, and she finally realized how obnoxious that sounds.
     
  16. The Illusive Man

    The Illusive Man Leader of Cerberus Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    LeadHead
    New contest starts later today!
     
  17. Mutai Sho-Rin

    Mutai Sho-Rin Crusty Old Bastard Moderator

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Orange, CA USA
    Let it be.
     
  18. Riker's Libido

    Riker's Libido Lieutenant Junior Grade

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2013
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    Worf: What is this, a Nexus 7?

    Riker: Yep. From the old Earth brand, "Google".

    Worf: This motherfucker is old.
     
  19. Riker's Libido

    Riker's Libido Lieutenant Junior Grade

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2013
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    Picard: That shit is beautiful, dogg.

    Riker: I've seen a thousand sunsets in a thousand star systems, but this one gives me a boner and makes my asshole tingle.

    Geordi: I just want to live in this moment, living here looking at this sunset. It's so good.


    Data: This caption is fuckin' awesome, guys. Good job.
     
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2013
  20. Riker's Libido

    Riker's Libido Lieutenant Junior Grade

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2013
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    Troi: He RAPED me!


    Riker: Um not that funny of a caption.