TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain.

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! Sorry about the Sunday start, this and the next 2 weekends, I have to work saturday which makes it tough to get things going on time. I'll try to make things start saturday somehow next time, since the Superbowl is next sunday. In case you were wondering.... Go 49ERS!!!!!

First up to the plate, we have the "A bet is a bet" Award, going to:

Picard: "Note to self: No more bets with Beverly, no matter how horny I am. Because if she won once, she can win again, and I can end up doing even more of young Mr. Crusher's homework."

Next, we have the "Fads of the 24th Century" Award, going to:

Worf: It doesn't look 3-dimensional! It just looks...weird!"
Geordi (OS): "Put on the cardboard specs!"

Next, we have the "Pure Awesome" Award, going to:

Picard os: "No, No, No, No, let me ask you a question. When you got off the turbolift, did you notice a sign that said "Dead Android Storage"? "
Worf: "Captain, you know I ain't seen no... "
Picard: "Did you notice a sign that said "Dead Android Storage"? "
Worf: "No. I didn't. "
Picard: "You know WHY you didn't see that sign?"
Worf: "Why?"
Picard: "'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead androids ain't my fucking business, that's why!"

Next, we have the "Honest Geordi's Used Androids" Award, going to:

Geordi: I'm givin' you the shirt off my back in this deal. Look, he's hardly used and he's got super low mileage. What's it gonna take to get you and this android together?

Next, we have the "Couldn't get those from a replicator" Award, going to:

PICARD: My arms are all blurry. What was in those brownies, number one?

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

THE DOCTOR: Worf? Son of Mogh? Is that you?

PICARD: Lets see, "Special Interests". Archaeology. Shakespeare. Diplomacy....

Good lord, even I wouldn't want to debate me after reading my SpaceDate profile.

Thanks to everyone for participating in this contest! Congratulations to our winners!

Continuing forward on our journey through the TNG seasons to celebrate 300 contests, we go into the 3rd season to one of my all time favorite episodes, "The Defector!"

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Re: TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain

Riker: So with this new keystroke logging program, we'll know who's actually working and who's just playing Angry Birds.

Worf: (thinking) Damn.

Captain's Log, I'm feeling unpopular today.

Data: Why is the battle section detached? And coming right at us?

Data: I do not understand, the rest of the crew said you would enjoy being stared at for 13 hours.

Picard: Is he ever going to speak?

Data: You muted the transmission, Captain.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Re: TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Jarok: "If you're waiting for me to invite you to join me for a drink..."

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Re: TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain

RIKER: I just discovered this odd program being transmitted to the Klingon homeworld.
PICARD: Can you tell what it is number one?
RIKER: I don't know, but it's broadcasting constantly and seems to be called 'HumanTube'.
WORF: (Damn it, my stream of human bloopers was almost up to ten million likes.)

PICARD: If I started wearing a toupee, would anyone notice? Nah...I'm being paranoid.

DATA: Is that Wesley out there?
RIKER: Wesley, where? I don't see anything.
GEORDI: I agree, there's nobody out there.
DATA: No, Wesley is right there! If we transport him back aboard right away we still might be able to...
RIKER: I said, I don't see anything. Do you understand, Data?
DATA: Yes sir. I do not see anything either.

DATA: Curious.
JAROK: What are you staring at?
DATA: You are the first Romulan I've met who isn't a complete dick.

PICARD: Tomalok, will you please stop trying to be glibly witty and get to the damn point?
TOMALOK: What's the fun of interplanetary diplomacy without the repartee?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Re: TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain

Data: "Geordi, is that nacelle supposed to be smoking like that?"

 

[Triskelion]

Re: TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain

Riker: Although the browser history has been deleted, you can recover it with a simple restore point - oh my.

Worf: Damn it.

Picard: K'Ehleyr made an art film?

On the one hand, Beverly. On the other hand, the boy.
On the one hand, Deanna. On the other hand, Lwaxana.
On the one hand, Ro. On the other hand, Ro's time of the month.

Blimey, this redistribution of wealth is a bit trickier than I thought.

Geordi: Alien ambush from the outer planets!
Data: This is what happens when you neglect Uranus.
Riker: Like mother always said.

Data: Would you like to exchange your currency? Counselor Troi's lapdances will begin soon.

Picard: Is there a reward if we find your puppy?

 

[inflatabledalek]

Re: TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain

Riker: This reminds me of something I've been meaning to ask, how the hell did Worf turn out to be the guy onboard with the most Romulan-ey DNA? I'd have thought one of the Vulcans...

Picard: Oh, that was just Beverly dicking with him. She really hates him you know.

Picard: Does this pose make me look thoughtful or like I can't remember if I left the gas on or not?

Data: Spot!?

Data: Thank you for the offer, but I suspect your gaydar is broken.

Tomalak: It wasn't me, it was the one armed man.

 

[LeadHead]

Re: TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain

Riker: Never seen a shuttlecraft fart before.

 

[Captain April]

Re: TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain

Worf thinking: If I can just ease it out slowly and quietly enough, maybe they won't notice the smell.

 

[Triskelion]

Re: TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain

Riker: Push this to load your torpedo.
Picard: That's what she said.
Riker: Who is she?
Picard: Counselor Troi.
Worf: Idiots.

Big Bang Theory - was just Friends with product placements! Damn you Progenitors!

Geordi: It's a bird!
Data: It's a plane!
Riker: It's - Mime Man!
Geordi: Why is Captain Picard never around to see him?

Data: I should warn you. The El-Aurian likes to screw with people who block her view.

Romulan: One in every bar.

Well that settles the Neutral Zone peace treaty. If you're interested, Tomalak, later Mister Data is holding a Bach recital -

A hundred more years of war!

Merde. So close.

 

[Ayelbourne]

Re: TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain

Hm, what meme to birth next, I wonder.

 

[Isis]

Re: TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain

LeadHead, TFTW.

Some bad news: That day everyone let their guard down.

Some good news: Picard and Worf did it at the same time.

Some more bad news: The crew was quite puzzled when the two of them said, "He's right behind me, isn't he?" in unison.

Picard (to self): "I wonder whether Beverly will notice that I've switched from ChapStick to Blistex?"

Unbeknownst to Gene Roddenberry until he saw some of the dailies, Burton, Spiner, and Frakes all perceived themselves as having the same good side.

When times became difficult in the 24th Century, many did whatever they needed to get by.

Jarok (in background): "I don't always drink Romulan ale, but when I do, I prefer..."

Tomalak (to self): "Damn...wrong number."

 

[Captain April]

Re: TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain

Picard: (thinking) Damn, Riker does drone on. I'll set my face to stern thoughtfulness, engage.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain

PICARD: ...the hell???? Did they change the Romulan make-up and not tell us?

 

[Mutai Sho-Rin]

Re: TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain

^ ^ ^ ^ ^
Spectacular!

 

[R. Star]

Re: TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain

^ ^ ^ ^ ^
Spectacular!

 

[Mojochi]

Re: TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain

Picard: Ouch... K'Ehlyer changed her status to single

Riker: Meh... No one wants to date a single mom

Troi: Which would you like to talk about today, your Borg abduction, your Cardassian torture, or your life on Kataan?

Picard: (Thinking) I should have taken that job with Louis. How hard could it be to stack dirt in the Atlantic Ocean?

Picard's Gladys Knight cover band rehearsals always went hardest on "The Pips"

Data: While we wait for the captain's decision, I could read you another one of my poems about my cat

Picard: That's far enough, Tomalak! I advise you to stand farther to your left. That wall behind you looks very hot!

 

[Triskelion]

Re: TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain

G'Kar: If you call me Spot one more time I will not tell you what intrigues to expect aboard DS9.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Re: TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain

PICARD: If I started wearing a toupee, would anyone notice? Nah...I'm being paranoid.

Picard{Thinking} Hmmm, Then again maybe I'll order the Shatner turbo 2000

 

[Triskelion]

Re: TNG Caption This! 302: I look forward to our next caption, Captain

Riker: No wonder it's so chilly. The environmental controls are set to "Minsk."

Picard: And who set the security grid on "Booty Alert"?

Metathesis is one of the most common of pronunciation errors, sir; a reversal of vowel and conson -

Go fornicate yourself with a plasma injector, you positronic choad.

<Ten Forward applauds>